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merledogs

April's Random Mutterings

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Morning. My plan for today is to do as much feck all as I can possibly get away with :laughingsmiley: my new line manager has started and I've been trying to induct/train her for the past 2 weeks whilst simultaneously juggling the demands of the job itself which has gone a bit manic so her entire first week was spent pretty much following me from one ad hoc meeting to another with little to no actual hands on "training". I have 1 more week of the extra hours / extra responsibility and then I go back to my own role and can finally take some time off. I've got 2 WEEKS of TOIL owed to me plus 3 weeks of last years annual leave which I couldn't take before the end of the year as there was no one to cover me :( We are normally only allowed to carry over 1 week but the boss agreed that in my case I could carry it all over so long as I used it before the end of April .... that didn't happen because the new manager didn't even start until 2nd week of April so she's agreed I can just take it as soon as possible once I go back to my real job. Next week I already have meetings in the diary that mean I'll earn even more ruddy TOIL and although I had planned to start taking some time off the week after muggins has now agreed to come in for a meeting that week too however my foot has gone down and I intend to just do that meeting and take TOIL the rest of that week and then go off on some very much needed leave.

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Our hopes of the steroids improving Dyl's condition haven't been realised, I'm sorry to say..if anything he's worse rather than better:( Yesterday on his slow walk he found it so hard to keep his balance when he went to the loo he actually sat down in what he'd just done, thank goodness I had plenty of tissues in my pocket. With very heavy hearts we've made an appointment for 5.50 tomorrow..Philip is taking the day off. We'd so hoped it wouldn't come to this, but what with the balance problems and hearing him whimpering as he tried to lie down comfortably last night, there really is no other option that would be fair to him. We've had ten great years (and a few hairy moments) but it's going to be so hard to say goodbye. Philip can't discuss it..he starts choking up...I'm not much better.

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Awww Suzeanna, we never ever have them for long enough, i will be thinking of you both tomorrow, huge hugs being sent to both of you

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im so sorry, but your doing it for him, to get him out of pain xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

the mans just been, with his mum and nan, the housing officer and the occupational therapist. he might get the keys next week, and he will have the carpets so saves me getting rid of them

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Our hopes of the steroids improving Dyl's condition haven't been realised, I'm sorry to say..if anything he's worse rather than better:( Yesterday on his slow walk he found it so hard to keep his balance when he went to the loo he actually sat down in what he'd just done, thank goodness I had plenty of tissues in my pocket. With very heavy hearts we've made an appointment for 5.50 tomorrow..Philip is taking the day off. We'd so hoped it wouldn't come to this, but what with the balance problems and hearing him whimpering as he tried to lie down comfortably last night, there really is no other option that would be fair to him. We've had ten great years (and a few hairy moments) but it's going to be so hard to say goodbye. Philip can't discuss it..he starts choking up...I'm not much better.

 

I'm so sorry Suzeanna I will be thinking of you all tomorrow ((hugs))

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Oh so sorry to hear that you've had to make the final decision Suzeanna. Will be thinking of you all tomorrow.

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Moaning :tired:

 

suzannea - so sorry to hear about Dylan - you'll be in my thoughts today :GroupHug: Safe journey to the bridge fella :mecry: :lily:

 

Builder type person has had a job cancellation so texted me yesterday to ask if he could start on the roof repairs today, so he is doing it today/tomorrow. He's going to quote me for a new patio as well and if I'm happy with the price he will do that Monday. Fingers crossed the quote is sensible because I would dearly love to have the old scraggy patio removed (which has been here for a lot of decades).

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the dogs are going at ten. don't know how long ill have the internet as its going off today, going back on saturday

 

love you all xxx

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:GroupHug: Suzeanna.

 

I always knew this time would come, From the very instant our eyes first met. How I loved you then! How I love you now! I made a promise then and I keep that promise now . . . You will not suffer from a pain that will not heal; You will not know the loss of a life remembered, now gone. It is for me alone to make this decision, The price for the bright joy and pure laughter You brought me during the time we shared. I am the only one who can decide when it is time. When my hope dies, and my fears ride high, Just when I need you most, I must let you go. It is for you alone to tell me when you are ready. For without your guidance, I will not know When to lay my grief, my guilt, my anger, My sorrow and my selfish heart aside And give you this last gift, this greatest gift. Your eyes will speak to mine, and I will know.

 

The pain of this moment is excruciating. Tears stream down my face in a river of sorrow, And my heart drowns in a pool of grief. For you have spoken, and I have listened, And unlike other decisions I have made, This one brings no relief . . . no comfort . . . no peace. For if there's one thing you've taught me, If there's only one thing I've learned. . . . Unconditional love has a condition after all, I must be willing to let you go, when you speak to me I must be willing to help you go, if you cannot go alone. And I must accept my pain so you can be free of yours.

 

Go easily now, go quickly now, Do not linger here, it is time for you to leave. Go find your strength, go find your youth. Go find the ones who've gone before you. You are free to leave me now, free to let your spirit soar Rest easy now, your pain will soon be gone.

 

I pray I will find comfort in my memories . . . In the dark and lonely days ahead.

 

I cannot say I will not miss you, I cannot say I will not cry. For only my tears can heal my broken heart. But, I promise you this: as long as I live, You will live, alive in my mind, forever in my heart. So I give you this last gift, all I have left to give, And this will be my greatest gift . . . sending you away. It is the measure of my unconditional love . . . For only the greatest love can say, "Good-bye, go find the bridge, we'll meet again, Loving you has been the greatest gift of all."

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Thoughts are with you today, Suzeanna

 

xxx

 

Can you send him down here when you are finished Alex, I want someone to do my patio but people are on holiday or not calling back...I know we could do it ourselves but I don't want to as I'll always pick out the flaws in it!!

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Hi Mrs B

Suzeanna, i am thinking of you today huge hugs sent your way

Merledogs, if he does a good job let me know... i could do with a few things doing

Murtle, my brother did our patio and he is the most unskilled manual labourer on the planet, still looks o.k all these years later so you might surprise yourself if you have to do it

Jazz, good luck with the move, hope all goes well

Hi yantan, hope you are o.k

i went to the hospital today, it was horrific, i have been crying and i don't do crying and to be honest i am sick and tired of every day being a battle...whinge over

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Hugs griff, you are very inspirational. Is there anything I can do? xx

 

Hello Mrs B, pull up a chair and have a slice of cake.

 

Thanks for the info griff, I might be tempted as I'd like to be sitting on it in the sun rather than the over grown grass.

 

I am meeting a friend at borough market, she is nearly an hour and a half late...and still not here, though she said she had arrived at the tube station 15mins ago...

Edited by murtle

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