blackmagic Posted March 15, 2014 Report Share Posted March 15, 2014 Marion - you'll like this one FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view) by Pam Ayres The missus bought a Paperback, down Shepton Mallet way, I had a look inside her bag; ... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey". Well I just left her to it, And then I went to bed. An hour later she appeared; The sight filled me with dread... In her left she held a rope; And in her right a whip! She threw them down upon the floor, And then began to strip. Well fifty years or so ago; I might have had a peek; But Mabel hasn't weathered well; She's eighty four next week!! Watching Mabel bump and grind; Could not have been much grimmer. And things then went from bad to worse; She toppled off her Zimmer! She struggled back upon her feet; A couple minutes later; She put her teeth back in and said I am a dominator !! Now if you knew our Mabel, You'd see just why I spluttered, I'd spent two months in traction For the last complaint I'd uttered. She stood there rude and naked Bent forward just a bit I went to hold her, sensual like and stood on her left tit! Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out; My God what had I done!? She moaned and groaned then shouted out: "Step on the other one"!! Well readers, I can't tell no more; About what occurred that day. Suffice to say my jet black hair, Turned fifty shades of grey. love it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gooster Posted March 15, 2014 Report Share Posted March 15, 2014 :grouphug: Alex. Glad your oncologist was supportive Suzeanna Busy morning at work today - looking forward to going home for some lunch and vegging on the sofa for a couple of hours I was rudely awoken at 2.30am and 3am by my next door neighbour's GF 'enjoying herself' shall we say. At 3am???!!!! Why were they not asleep? I need thicker walls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
griff Posted March 15, 2014 Report Share Posted March 15, 2014 Lol@ your neighbours Gooster, may be they had just got in from a night out? Merledogs, hope you manage to get into a proper sleep pattern again soon..... is this all work related? hope you get a new job soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gooster Posted March 15, 2014 Report Share Posted March 15, 2014 They were in when I got back from the farm at 9.30. They have woken me up a few times at about 2am, am not a happy goose when I get a broken night's sleep!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazz Posted March 15, 2014 Report Share Posted March 15, 2014 have a word, im going to have to say something light hearted about upstairs, no insulation, not good the back doors been open all day. a bit chilly,but the washings dry. im trying to set up my new mobile, it doesnt like me, it wont accept my passwords, so hopefully someone will feel sorry for me and they will do it for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merledogs Posted March 15, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 15, 2014 Make a joke about if Jayne - I'm sure they'll both be mortified! I've had a decent day - lovely walk with the dogs followed by watching the City match. Thought it was going to get even worse when our captain got sent off after ten minutes but thankfully we won (phew!). Just potted on some plug plants into slightly bigger pots to grow them on a bit before they go outside (once any chance of frost has passed). Next door neighbour has dug up two large and two dwarf Rhododendrons from my front, which his son is having. Glad he did them rather than me because the root balls on those things get very heavy once they are full of soil. Need to decide what I'm going to fill the holes with again. This will only be the third time in three years I've re-done my borders It's good in a way though because some of the plants which are now in planters will be going into the ground, hence less planters to trip over. I want to go back to Bents tomorrow to take the garden chairs back and swap the (lime green) ones for the beige ones. They are making my eyes water looking at them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzeanna Posted March 15, 2014 Report Share Posted March 15, 2014 My son didn't come up this weekend after all,,,and I do understand that his obligations to his wife come first. OH and I went out for a lovely meal with my daughter and her OH, early mothers day meal as they will be away on the actual day. We drank three bottles of wine between us (my OH had lager), I am seriously erm..bladdered? pixellated\? whatever the term is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merledogs Posted March 16, 2014 Author Report Share Posted March 16, 2014 Moaning Had a decent night's sleep thankfully. suzeanna - glad you had a lovely meal. Shame about your son though Hope the hangover's not too bad! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazz Posted March 16, 2014 Report Share Posted March 16, 2014 my sons the same. how dare they put their new family before mother? lol im not used to it after 5 years lol the suns shining brightly out there so much that we thought it was time to get up, and it was 7am lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gooster Posted March 16, 2014 Report Share Posted March 16, 2014 Glad you had a nice meal Suzeanna even though your son couldn't make it. Hope you don't have too much of a headache today Neighbours didn't wake me up last night - this could have been due to the wine that I had though Last day working today before 1 whole day off I really must plan my working weeks better. I have Monday off and am then not off again till Sunday However it all pays for my hollibobs, so am not moaning too much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazz Posted March 16, 2014 Report Share Posted March 16, 2014 I havent managed to sell my spare fish tank, wasnt having any more! picking up 10 fish tomorrow.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owl Posted March 16, 2014 Report Share Posted March 16, 2014 I am fostering a tank full of guppies and may have got hooked on the little things. They are so cute and colourful and quite easy to maintain. They will be here for a while yet. There is a fish registered on Doglost. We have had various cats, horses, ferrets, rabbits, owls, hawks, a tortoise or two, and even a few humans. But this is the first fish, a koi who escaped during the floods together with a sturgeon. The latter was found in a puddle at a car wash. http://www.doglost.co.uk/dog-blog.php?dogId=65950 So far we have not been asked to go and track him. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazz Posted March 16, 2014 Report Share Posted March 16, 2014 im getting guppies Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzeanna Posted March 16, 2014 Report Share Posted March 16, 2014 When we had a tank our guppies bred like rabbits! I had a headache when I woke up but it soon went, thankfully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazz Posted March 16, 2014 Report Share Posted March 16, 2014 did you use a heater? the people I got the tank off didnt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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