owl Posted May 27, 2012 Report Share Posted May 27, 2012 A good person to have in your family, Marge. Glad the meal went well. We have just done a 6 mile yomp which in parts resembled an assault course. Aargh springers, should have stuck to beagles! Going back tomorrow eve to continue tracking where we left off. Not a squeak from Wispa on the way home which was a welcome change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merledogs Posted May 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 28, 2012 Morning Had a shocking night's sleep - woke up at 3 am and I think I got back to sleep for about half an hour after that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murtle Posted May 28, 2012 Report Share Posted May 28, 2012 Oops Owl that's a trek and a half! Hope today is ok for you Alex on the sleep you've had. I am awake and getting up once I have finished my tea... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazz Posted May 28, 2012 Report Share Posted May 28, 2012 thats it! thats it! just got to find one for a smalldog Im all excited now! sad ay? lol 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merledogs Posted May 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 28, 2012 I've been trying to speak to my boss since last Wednesday. Instead of ringing me he sent me an invitation to a conference call for two and a half hours at 9am this morning. Great, at least I've got a couple of hours to go through various things properly. Well at least I would if he was actually answering his phone. I should have known, cos he also cancelled the last meeting I had with him. Not happy. Besides which it's like an oven in the office. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merledogs Posted May 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 28, 2012 Finally got to speak to my boss. I am one very unhappy bunny right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owl Posted May 28, 2012 Report Share Posted May 28, 2012 Been a bit lively here this morning. Bones the husky was playing with a weim belonging to some I know early this morn on a local playing field for about 20 mins. "Hyacinth" from next door started at 8 a.m. shouting at Becky that the 2 remaining mini horses must be removed. If she hadn't been so rude Becky would have told her that they are going to other grazing the day after tomorrow. As it was, she told Becky she had no business to put them on the land as she doesn't own it. She seems to think my landlady doesn't know they are there Becky told her very quietly that she was being rude and aggressive, and you can imagine the response. If Hyacinth says anything to me I will threaten her with a court injunction to stop her harassing anyone coming on to my premises. Have spoken with landlady who says don't take any nonsense from her. Sorry to hear that, Alex. What is happening? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murtle Posted May 28, 2012 Report Share Posted May 28, 2012 Not sad Jazz it's good to be excited about things. Sorry to hear you are unhappy Alex. Good news about Bones, shame he won't come home though. Your neighbour sounds delightful Owl :-( I have been most industrious today...long may it continue! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yantan Posted May 28, 2012 Report Share Posted May 28, 2012 Alex I'm sorry the chat with your boss didn't go well mate Owl good for you being prepared to stand your ground with Hyacinth. DW is due any time for Archie. I think I'll tell her that's it fine by me just to take him to the lake and have the best of his hour splashing about down there. It'll take 20 minutes of the hour to walk there and back anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phoebejo Posted May 28, 2012 Report Share Posted May 28, 2012 An interesting weekend here. After my HORRIBLE HORRIBLE assessment on Friday I could feel the anxiety rising in me. I knew I needed to speak to Mr Hazell about it but just wasn't feeling able to. However on our picnic I all of a sudden felt the need to get it all off my chest. I thought it'd be a good time too because I thought the girls would be off playing and we'd be sat on a bench but instead he played ball with them. It's not his fault, he didn't know I felt like talking then, but I felt fustrated because there were words on the top of my tongue that I couldn't say. So more anxiety. Then he cooked dinner and I still couldn't speak because of all the girls being around. Our living room is really long, sofas at one end of the room, huge dining table at the other end. Next to it is a monsterous piece of furniture that belonged to his dad, an ancient bureau. When we decorated in there and replaced all the old furniture his dad wouldn't let us get rid of it. It was a bone of contention, it looked so out of place, and I've always hated it with a passion. Well on Saturday as I sat down to eat my dinner I blew my top at the sight of it, had a massive panic attack, started ranting and raving and ran hyperventiliating from the room. I rarely ever go in there, I didn't when he was alive and still don't feel able to and one of the reasons is that bloody bureau being a constant reminder. So I frightened the living daylights out of the girls, they'd never seen me like that before, I keep my madness well hidden normally but at that moment I couldn't. There'd been little signs all day but Mr Hazell hadn't picked up on them, I should've taken Diazepam earlier in the day when I started to feel anxious and I don't know why I didn't. I've told him countless times he can calm me down within minutes just by putting his arms around me. He never does though, he prefers to ignore me or walk away. That makes me worse. So what did he do on Saturday? Threatened to have me sectioned. Thanks. That'll help me to stop hyperventilating. He did eventually fetch me some Diazepam when I could finally get two words out. Then Molly & Georgia cuddled me instead. It worked. I then tried hard to explain to them what's wrong with me. Yesterday he took the bureau to the tip The room looks so much better, so much brighter and I'm going to try even harder to use it. When I've been in labour with the girls I've always had to cling to him through a contraction or I'd totally lose it. We're all just animals at the end of the day. There's obviously something deep rooted in my brain which says I need him. I frighten him though and he doesn't realise how important his actions are to me. I'm not quite sure what to do about it. My doctor did suggest I bring him along to one of my appointments with her, he's not been since the first time he took me there in January. I didn't think that would help but now I think I'm changing my mind. I'm suuposed to see her once a fortnight, and should be seeing her this Thursday (the only day she works) but couldn't get an appointment until the 7th. I know that she has appointments that cannot be booked until the actual day early in the morning so I might try that Thursday morning. I worried that counsellor so much last week he was going to speak to the duty doctor and tell them to make a note that if I did phone and ask for an appointment that I was such an emergency case I had to be given one there and then! I'll see if that works on Thursday. Poor old Mr Hazell though, I'm really putting him through the wringer right now. Unbeknownst to me yesterday he visited his dads grave. I think he felt guilty about getting rid of the bureau. But his dad is dead, that bureau isn't going to change his life one bit but it certainly does mine and the fact that I'm still alive, just, makes me more important. Sorry to have bored everyone to death, it really helps to get it all out though. I told that counsellor chappie I was going to buy a journal and write in that. He just gave me the same blank stare he had throughout. I forget huge chunks of time and I'm sure that'll help me to remember. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddyboy Posted May 28, 2012 Report Share Posted May 28, 2012 can you print out what you have put above and give it to Mr H? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owl Posted May 28, 2012 Report Share Posted May 28, 2012 It's sometimes a good idea to keep a journal when you are going through a bad time, so you can look back later and see how far you have come. Perhaps you need to tell Mr Hazell that if you are really losing it you need him to hug you close so you can find it again. Some of us less demonstrative types to need to be told that occasionally, cos we are a bit fick about some things and try to think our way through a crisis when we need to calm it by showing more affection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
griff Posted May 28, 2012 Report Share Posted May 28, 2012 I agree with Buddyboy, write it down, you can give it to mr Hazell and he can read it on his own. some times it is easier to put your feelings down on paper. Merledogs, sorry you don't feel happy. Owl, very glad Bones has approached another dog, sorry your neighbour is being a c*w again, with this lovely weather i think you should have a BBQ and a party with speakers in the garden! had an awful phonecall this morning, one of the ladies who lives near me passed away on thursday, she was such a terrific lady who was a huge help to me and i will miss her a lot. it was lovely of her daughter to ring and let me know, i then had to go and tell one of her firends.... i don't like giving news like that on the phone so i went in person, she was upset but pleased the lady hadn't suffered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owl Posted May 28, 2012 Report Share Posted May 28, 2012 Hyacinth rang me and told me a pack of lies about the conversation with Becky this morning. I told her I knew exactly what she said because I could hear it loud and clear. As soon as I stood up to her she backed down and started whingeing about how much she had to put up with in her life etc etc. Anyway, she is now ok as horses are moving out this week for the rest of the summer. She told me she had no idea if I had given permission for the horses to be there or if Becky had just moved them on without asking me! She knows perfectly well as I told her when they moved in. That's the trouble with a certain kind of bully, as soon as you stand up to them they back down and start going all submissive and smarmy so you end up feeling in the wrong anyway. So sorry to hear about your friend, griff. May she rest in peace. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yantan Posted May 28, 2012 Report Share Posted May 28, 2012 Cheryl I am so sorry you are having such a pants time of it. Ruby has had a bad time with depression/anxiety and dawg knows what else. I am on the receiving end of it all and although I have been very patient (much to the amazement of friends and family) there are times when I just want to explode and have - which only makes things worse. Sometimes I just feel I cannot do right for doing wrong. I can sympathise with Ruby but I can't truly know or understand how she feels or what makes her feel that way because it's not something I have ever experienced and the same will be true for Mr Hazell. I will do the same as others here and encourage you to write it all down in a journal and either share it with Mr Hazell or at least share your post with him. Give him the chance to try and see what upsets you and how things affect you. If he still doesn't get it and fails to support you the rest of us here will come and kick him for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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