How Soon After Losing A Dog

[zico's mum]

It's just over a fortnight since Daisy went and I still miss her so much.I've heard of another BT needing a home,well a cross but that's OK.She sounds ideal,is used to being left so that's not a problem while I work.Is great with other dogs but I'm dithering so much.Somehow I feel it's disloyal to Daisy and maybe too soon for healing to start for me but she is so cute and am sure would fit in so well here and a tried and tested dog used to being left and a rescue willing to rehome to someone who works is not to be taken lightly.I know no-one else can advise me what I should do,but just wanted some feedback from others

[suzeanna]

Don't think of it as being disloyal to Daisy, rather as a compliment to her, for showing you so well how wonderful borders (and x's) are as a breed, that you want another one! She will never be replaced in your heart, no matter how many other dogs you might have in the future, we still talk and laugh about our first dog together, a dobe called Saphyre, although we lost her 16 years or more ago. You might not find another dog so perfect for you as this one sounds to be for ages...go for it! and I'm sure you'll have Daisy's blessing.

 

To answer your question...we had other dogs when we lost Saphyre and it wasn't until the big ones had gone that we got another big dog, (GSD), but if we hadn't had the others I doubt we'd have waited so long.

[Ruthi (borrowadog)]

Its not being disloyal. You will never forget, or replace Daisy, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't have another dog. I always reckon that you can't replace the dog, but you can fill the dog shaped hole in your life.

 

Sure Daisy wouldn't want that doggie to sit in rescue, when she could be with you, comforting you and Duncan?

[Laurel n Hardy]

perhaps Daisy has led you to find this little one so that the healing

can begin, as I am sure she doesn't want her mum to be upset for too long

 

 

No one but you will know how long it will take, but a new arrival thats

looking for a forever home could do so much worse than live with you and Duncan

[one.eyed.dog]

When I lost my Lucy I decided I would wait 3 months before looking for another dog as I believed the right one would present itself. I was also worried that grief may cause me to make a mistake I would regret if I acted hastily.

 

4 days later I had Lottie. (and a damn long drive)

 

The right dog presented itself straight away and I have never regretted it.

 

With me it just feels like the right dog. The feeling is like being booted in the stomach so I tend to go with the gutt.

[Karen]

I don't think it's disloyal to think about offering a home to another dog nor do I think anyone will judge you one way or the other.

 

I lasted a week after our first dog died before I was back at Battersea looking for a new friend. It took about 3 weeks of visits before we found April and when I brought her home I was in tears because what I really wanted was the first dog back. As it turned out, April was the most fantastic dog ever and from the next day I loved her!

 

Having said that it's now 8 months since Lily died and we still haven't found another friend for Rosie. Must be different each time I think.

[Jacobean]

It's not disloyal to Daisy. She won't be replaced and you have room in your heart for many dogs. I've quite often taken dogs in a couple of months after losing one. We can't help but notice them when we browse forums etc. I'm sure you and Duncan would enjoy the company of a new furry friend.

[Spins4me]

After we lost Bella, our first Spin and my soul dog, we both swore never again. Within a couple of weeks I was looking for another Spin, hoping for a rescue or rehome but 3 months later ended up with a pup. Three months after that we had his sister too.

 

Please don't feel disloyal to Daisy. She'll have taught you so much, she will have known that you love dogs and can give them a wonderful home. I'm sure Daisy would support you all the way.

[Sarah B]

 

It's different for everyone. When I lost Homer, I said no more. The Connor came along. When I lost Chester, I said no more, but Harvey and Scooby came along. When I lost Connor, I said no more but moved in with my OH's parents and 'adopted' Ellie.

 

If a dog needs you then you will know.

 

Don't feel guilty. When I lost Homer someone sent me a poem about a dog telling his owner than although he had to go, he wanted to leave his bed and bowl for another dog to enjoy as much as he had. I cannot for the life of me find the poem anywhere though - I think it gost lost in the move

 

That poem stayed on my wall for years, and every time I looked at it I remembered my dogs who have gone to the Bridge, and knew that I would know when it would be time to help the next one.

[Greygal]

Don't feel guilty. I would see it as honouring the one you have just lost to give a place to another needy little soul. We always start looking within days of losing a dog as it seems selfish to me to have the time, space and love to give another poor dog waiting in kennels, and not to do it because I am hurting from the recent loss. If your heart tells yoiu it is right for you, go for it and let the healing begin.

[blackmagic]

The Legacy

 

When humans die, they make a will

To leave their homes and all they have

To those they love.

I, too, would make a will if I could write.

 

To some poor wistful, lonely stray

I leave my happy home.

My dish, my cosy bed, my cushioned chair, my toy.

The well loved lap, the gentle stroking hand,

The loving voice.

The place I made in someone's heart.

The love that at last could help me to

A peaceful, painless end,

Held in loving arms.

 

If I should die, Oh do not say,

"No more a pet I'll have,

To grieve me by it's loss"

Seek out some lonely, unloved dog

And give my place to him.

This is the legacy I leave behind -

Tis all I have to give.

 

--author unknown

[Sarah B]

Thats the one Thankyou.

 

It always makes me a little as it reminds me of all my boys, but it also gives me strength too.

Edited April 28, 2010 by Sarah B

[snow]

I agree that it's different for everyone and also that it's different each time it happens, when I lost Sabre my soul dog I was the one dragging my feet and utterly refusing to contemplate getting another dog at the time I coudn't see past having another GSD and thinking there could never be a GSD like Sabre, we were dogless for 6 months after Sabre went to the bridge and it was hubby who was the prime mover in us getting Olaf our first pointy yet when Olaf went to the bridge Nick & I wanted another dog almost immediately but hubby was the barrier as Olaf had been his soul dog and he couldn't face "replacing" him - we were dogless for 3 months that time. I have no idea what will happen when it's Nog's time to leave us - Nog is my soul dog and I can't imagine life without him however I also cannot imagine ever being dogless so only time will tell at what stage we'll be ready to look again after Nog.

 

Only you can know if it's the right time or not

[ranirottie]

for you Lynne. You are not replacing Daisy, just making room in your heart for another dog. You will know if it is the right one for you and Duncan. x

[houndzrus]

I once got a new dog only a week after one died, and the others varied between a few months and a few years. When Spike died we weren't looking at all, still adjusting to life without him. When our vet's nurse asked what sort of dog we would be interested in, we said a "skinny dog", meaning greyhound. She had her own agenda and that's how Jack came to us. He is not a replacement, he is an addition to our family. We did send him back once, saying it was too soon, but had a change of heart. For the first few weeks I found lots of reasons for him not to stay, but in the end, it was Cherry and Jack who made the decision. The pleasure they have from being together just confirms that it was the right one.