DitzyLips Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 It seems loving somebody too much is a bad thing and men only want what they can't have.I don't know if my expectations are too high but i would rather be alone than with someone who doesn't want to be with me/make me happy.Tough as it can be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ranirottie Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 that is a very good way to look at it. Keep your chin up and think of yourself x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacobean Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 Laura - There will be someone out there who loves you for you and will want the best for you. You've just not found him yet. You will look on this past relationship in time when you're happy with a man who deserves you and be glad you didn't settle for someone who could say such hurtful things. I've loved and lost in the past but I'm now so glad I did. My hubby far knocks spots off anyone I've been out with before. I was daft enough to try to settle with a few along the way and I'm so glad now they didn't feel the same way and couldn't love me properly in return. You will both get through this and life will be just fine. It's a natural process you have to go through and one of life's experiences. It's just very tough in the early days when it happens. Hopefully Steve will now see sense Kelly. Either way you will know where you stand. You've been left dangling this past week and it's not a fair way to treat someone. You go out tomorrow night with your friends. It will do you good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DitzyLips Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 (edited) You are totally right Michelle and i know i'm better off rid.I will never ever settle for less than the best.I would be doing myself an injustice if i did. I will be just fine and so will Kelly.I think she needs more time to realize it than me though :-( Edited July 17, 2009 by DitzyLips Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TaraMoochi Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 Hi, there is an awful loooot of great advice on here. Kelly, definitely go out - you dont have to go nuts, but put on some clothes you feel goo din, nad go out even if just for a few hours. Remember the most important person in your life is YOU - don't take second best, don't sit around wondering for so long you drive yourself potty with the same thoughts. I've been there and done that, and its exhausting Also by Steve keeping contact in a friendly way, allows him a comfortable middle ground, esp if you were to continue to allow it. Cher is right, the big thing you need to do is allow time to grieve, and if its going to work out that you get back toghether, you definitely need time to miss each other. A lot of relationships break up because there is no fun anymore, and people forget their dreams - ok, you're a unit together, but always remember what you want from your life too - and take control, you're the only one that will make it happen. On a more practical point - I work for a mortgage broker, pm me if you want to chat over any of this - but the big point is that if he is joint on your mortgage, then he will be jointly liable for it until his name is removed, so if he doesn't pay his share for example, after 3 months, and you dont have the money to make it up - it will effect both of your credit ratings. (sorry for the financial bit, but trying to remember everthing I wanted to comment on!) Dizty lips, I wish you all the best too - it can be awful when a recent ex gets a new partner, I got over that a few years ago when I first heard about my ex, by constantly saying to myself, that I didn't want to be with someone who didn't want to be with me - why would I break my heart, and pour my soul out for someone who just didn't know/didn't return the same affection. I'm now seeing a new guy who treats me in exactly the ways I need to be treated without even needing prompting - he's a good one! I broke up with my previous ex 6 months ago, and Im 32 with 3 elderly dogs, just to put into perspective, so you're not alone, and you do meet good ones I hope something in there helps someone, bit of a ramble now I look back, and I didn't think I had much to write!!! big hugs girlies xxxxxxx sorry - just seen lots of typos but am not going to go through and edit it all, sorry folks! xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peachy Posted July 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2009 I hate to admit this but I'm going downhill really quickly Every time I think I can hold it together for a short while, I fall to pieces again. I can't be alone, I need constant company but crave no company other than Steve's. I can't do this. I just can't understand why he won't try to work through things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mooandboo Posted July 20, 2009 Report Share Posted July 20, 2009 How you're feeling is absolutely natural, I felt that way and I was the one who ended the relationship with my ex. I felt like he'd died but worse and I went completely to pieces. I went to parties with friends and disappeared to a quiet room and sobbed at the couples there, or music which was playing which reminded me of him. I think it's something that has to happen in order for you to start again. I even asked my ex back but he refused and I'm so glad he did because I've had 18 years with someone so much better for me. Allow yourself to fall apart, ask for help when and where you can - if you want it - and take each day at a time. Eventually you'll find yourself again and be stronger for it but don't be too hard on yourself, as others have said you're grieving and you need to work through it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owl Posted July 20, 2009 Report Share Posted July 20, 2009 It's early days yet, Peachy If you are holding it together even for short periods you are doing well. The bad patches don't mean you can't cope. The pain will get less acute in time. Use the help offered by your friends and family. Spend time with people who care for you, even if you would rather be with Steve. I know I can be a bit of a bore constantly telling people to try EMF but you can learn it quickly and it really takes the edge off emotional pain and gives you the power to deal with it. You can download the manual free at www.emofree.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merledogs Posted July 20, 2009 Report Share Posted July 20, 2009 It's very early days yet. I find the best way of taking my mind off something is to do physical work, eg cleaning, decorating, gardening, etc. Anything which is quite physically demanding will take your mind off it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DitzyLips Posted July 20, 2009 Report Share Posted July 20, 2009 I'm sorry your still not doing very well but it is a huge loss to get over which won't be helped by steve still being around. We are here if you need us but use your energy to look after yourself.Try saying i want to be happy,i deserve to be happy and i choose happiness.Today will be a good one.It's working for my some of the time but i have my bad days too.Like today i'm kind of sad and teary without really any reason.The bad days are harder to take when they follow a good one. Thinking of you xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peachy Posted July 20, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 20, 2009 Thank you to you all for being here. I'm going to look up EMF now. I've just been to see a friend of mine who is back from Tunisia. She moved over there two years ago and has just come back to see her parents. I'm going back to Tunisia with her on 3 August. I need to get away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joshnbecks Posted July 20, 2009 Report Share Posted July 20, 2009 Thank you to you all for being here. I'm going to look up EMF now. I've just been to see a friend of mine who is back from Tunisia. She moved over there two years ago and has just come back to see her parents. I'm going back to Tunisia with her on 3 August. I need to get away. Great to get away from for a while. Your surrounded by memories at home atm all the time. Try and have a nice time with your friend Kelly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lil_angel Posted July 20, 2009 Report Share Posted July 20, 2009 (edited) Sounds like a plan. Some time away will do you the world of good Edited July 20, 2009 by lil_angel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacobean Posted July 20, 2009 Report Share Posted July 20, 2009 Good idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owl Posted July 20, 2009 Report Share Posted July 20, 2009 Apologies, I did of course mean EFT, not EMF. EFT - Emotional Freedom Technique. EMF - Electro Magnetic Field which would be a fat lot of use to Peachy. EFT has helped me a lot but it hasn't made me any less dozy. Great idea to go to Tunisia for a break. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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