Ian Posted August 3, 2009 Report Share Posted August 3, 2009 I probably haven't relayed things very well but Steve hasn't for one minute asked me to cancel Tunisia, I think he knows much better than that. I might feel weak at times but he knows that I'm a gutsy girl that has more about her than to just obey commands. I think that's where things started to go wrong. We both know my life is about more than it has been in recent months, his too, and we've both become too involved with our insular world. I think he's seen that I'm making plans by myself and he's seen the person that he maybe hasn't seen for a while. I've seen changes in him too. As for Egypt, and other trips, I think he's pretty keen to show me that I can be involved in his work. That's always been an issue for us. It's very difficult never being able to be part of someone's world when it's as different, extreme and interesting as his and I've always struggled with no ever being able to be part of that world. Pilots don't have office parties, nights out, drinks out with colleagues etc, so I've never been able to be part of his world. I've love to have a seat on the same plane as him and experience his working day. I'm pleased he's doing things that maybe he wouldn't have done before. Tonight will be interesting. My Mum is 60 today and I've challenged Steve to come to the party and face all of my family in one go. He's coming along. A brave move and not one that I'd want to do. I've got to respect him for that. Steve is not the centre of my universe, I am. I now know that I don't need to be with him. I can go on holiday. That's been a real tie for me but I can do it - it's not as hard as I ever made it. I can push my business to be bigger. I can get another job if I need it. I've also got a lodger who's seen one of the spare rooms and wants to rent it. I need to go to Tunisia, enjoy my friends, plan my future (but not too far ahead because I'm rubbish at planning!) and if that involves Steve then so be it. If it doesn't, then so be that instead. I can't deny that I still love him. Of course I do but it's a different love. It's not all-consuming. I have my own life and I'm starting to enjoy it. He's got to find his own life too. Only then can we enjoy any form of relationship together. This seemed a very "gutsy" post / much more positive sounding than you've been in some recently, I'm pleased for you. Best of luck in the weeks ahead Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amanda Jvv Posted August 4, 2009 Report Share Posted August 4, 2009 Looking at your first and last posts - wow what a difference! Sometimes things happen for a reason and it looks like you are putting your best foot forward and doing some serious thinking and changes FOR YOU!! Well done. Very impressed with your strength. Take it slow and whatever happens will now be because you want it to not because it was forced on you!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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