ranirottie Posted July 15, 2009 Report Share Posted July 15, 2009 I agree. Give him time to think and time to miss you. He cant realise what he has lost if he is in constant contact with you. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peachy Posted July 17, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 Well, since Steve and I got back from Bournemouth, he tried calling me just a few hours after dropping me off but I didn't answer. Then yesterday he started messaging me on Facebook, just to say hi and have a friendly chat. I asked him to meet me but he wouldn't without me telling him what for then said he was busy. I just turned up at his Dad's house and apologised for disturbing him...watching Sky Travel I told him I was going to say one of two things but hadn't decided which one. He was in a nice comfort zone of thinking we were best friends and he still depended on me. After a short while of talking, explaining how my life is going to move on FOR ME, I said that I didn't think we could be friends and that I wanted all contact to stop. He was shocked and really upset. He asked what the other thing I was considering saying so I told him....marry me. He didn't expect it at all and it really hit him for six. I told him it wasn't an option now and that I didn't think he was the right person for me. I left pretty much straight away, all bouncy and confident. He was really shaken but I walked away anyway. Now it's a case of playing the long game. Will he want it enough to contact me and fight for the relationship or will I never hear from him again? He's working for three solid days from now until the early hours of Monday morning but after that he's off work until the following weekend and he'll have lots of time to think, get lonely, hopefully miss me. In the meantime, my friend Emily has invited me out on Saturday night for a few drinks with her and a couple of others. I'm so scared and don't really want to go but know I really should Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amanda Jvv Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 Well done for having the guts to say it like it is to him, even if you aren't feeling it 100%. You definitely should go out - you have made such progress and going out will remind you there is life beyond Steve. I think you did a brave and right thing because he really cannot have his cake and eat by stringing you along, he is getting what he wants but you are only getting painful reminders. Be patient now and what will be will be but keep doing things for YOU! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nettie Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 Yes Kelly you must go out and enjoy yourself, remember you're doing it for YOU now! No point sitting at home alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ranirottie Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 I agree 100%, you have done the right thing. Have a lovely weekend as a single girl,let your hair down and enjoy yourself. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackmagic Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 Don't sit around waiting for him to contact you. Start the rest of your life now and go out at the weekend. If he fits in to it, fine, but you must do what is best for you now. You will be a better person for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DitzyLips Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 I split up with my boyfriend too and today i found out he has a new girlfriend.I'm sorry for jumping in on your thread but i have noone else to tell. You are not alone and it sucks but i hope things work out from you.I remember you from before and think you are lovely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peachy Posted July 17, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 I split up with my boyfriend too and today i found out he has a new girlfriend.I'm sorry for jumping in on your thread but i have noone else to tell.You are not alone and it sucks but i hope things work out from you.I remember you from before and think you are lovely. Believe me, I'm still all over the place so I'm no expert that's for sure, but I'm here for you just as much as everyone else is here for us and each other. There are people you can turn to, even if you don't feel you can. PM me if you want to chat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DitzyLips Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 Thanks,i thought i was doing so well until this.Worrying about him and thinking he would be as cut about things as i was.It seemed like he didn't care but everyone told me he was putting on a brave face.Ha i knew he would meet someone else eventually but i asked if this woman was his new girlfriend and his reply seemed quite brutal.It was we like each other,it happens,life goes on.Part of me thinks what a ba**ard the other is like :'( :'( :'( What do you want to happen next? P.s I always end up coming back here.It's my refuge sometimes <3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owl Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 Thanks,i thought i was doing so well until this.Worrying about him and thinking he would be as cut about things as i was.It seemed like he didn't care but everyone told me he was putting on a brave face.Ha i knew he would meet someone else eventually but i asked if this woman was his new girlfriend and his reply seemed quite brutal.It was we like each other,it happens,life goes on.Part of me thinks what a ba**ard the other is like :'( :'( :'(What do you want to happen next? P.s I always end up coming back here.It's my refuge sometimes <3 Ditzylips :GroupHug: That was a rather brutal reply. Relationships do not just happen. People choose to start them. And people saying "life goes on" is my pet hate. WTF is that supposed to mean? It's just a way of shrugging stuff off which other people may not be able to shrug so easily. "I'm very sorry I have hurt you and wish you well for the future" would have been a bit more civil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 (edited) I split up with my boyfriend too and today i found out he has a new girlfriend.I'm sorry for jumping in on your thread but i have noone else to tell.You are not alone and it sucks but i hope things work out from you.I remember you from before and think you are lovely. It sounds like maybe you're not alone either & could / will support each other? Well, since Steve and I got back from Bournemouth, he tried calling me just a few hours after dropping me off but I didn't answer. Then yesterday he started messaging me on Facebook, just to say hi and have a friendly chat............ I told him I was going to say one of two things but hadn't decided which one................. Now it's a case of playing the long game. Will he want it enough to contact me and fight for the relationship or will I never hear from him again? He's working for three solid days from now until the early hours of Monday morning but after that he's off work until the following weekend and he'll have lots of time to think, get lonely, hopefully miss me. In the meantime, my friend Emily has invited me out on Saturday night for a few drinks with her and a couple of others. I'm so scared and don't really want to go but know I really should It sounds like you've been doing a lot of thinking & are really beginning to make some decisions - FOR YOU, well done. I know your scared, but I'm wondering whether you know exactly what of and also whether you think you'd still be scared if you did get there? Best of luck to both of you for the future Edited July 17, 2009 by Ian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DitzyLips Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 Thanks Owl! I get so tired of coping at times.Of being resislient and strong.Everyone thinks of me as the strong one who can deal with everything usually because i can but i'm finding things so tough right now.Everything and this is just one more thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReikiAnge Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 Kelly, hope you do go out on Saturday with your friend It's a good plan to say you don't want to be in contact with him for a while, I think trying to be "just good friends" is bloody difficult and painful and he can't miss you if you're always there for him "I'm very sorry I have hurt you and wish you well for the future" would have been a bit more civil. Wouldn't it just. Really sorry to hear your news Laura Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DitzyLips Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 I'm happy to help anyone in any way that i can.As much as i have the strength for.I hate dumping my problems on other people,they usually have enough of there own but by adding to this thread i hoped Kelly would feel less alone in her situation. Thank you for the hugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DitzyLips Posted July 17, 2009 Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 I have amazing people in my life but it's taken me until now to realise that i don't have to cope alone and that they can only help me if they know i need it.Trust people to help you and on the whole they will.I have such a strong feeling i will be ok. Somebody told me i have too big a heart and love too much not to be with somebody and someone that wants to be with me not someone that feels they have to be. The same is true of you.Never accept less than total love support and devotion.A guy that will encourage you to be the best you can be.You will be ok,we will make sure of it *cuddles* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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