cheryl33 Posted June 27, 2009 Report Share Posted June 27, 2009 I always wonder what would have happened at 18, just after my parents split up and I had the choice to live in Greece or go to uni. I think had I have chose the latter, I would probably be in a better job than now. I'm 26 now, own my own home and in a relationship with someone who can see where he wants to be in 5 years with his job, but not with me as 'he doesnt think that far ahead'. I've had my ups and downs, gone from job to job, had relationships, been on my own, and I kind of feel stuck in limbo now. I've been made redundant twice in the last year, left one job due to a bullying boss and gone to another that I really love that has a threat of redundancy again. I'm starting to dislike where I live as I have no friends here, hardly any social life as my two closest friends live in London and OH's friends never make any effort with me, even though we have been together for almost two years (E.g two of his friends are getting married today, he was invited and I wasn;t). I feel incredibly lonely sometimes and it really gets me down. If I didnt have the dogs, I would go abroad and be a rep again. Life was so simple then so if any fugees have advice, please let me know. Its not like my own parents are there to talk to....... PS - I love my dogs though they are the reason I get out of bed in the morning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zico's mum Posted June 27, 2009 Report Share Posted June 27, 2009 id like to have a partner, but dont want to share my bed, I like my space and independance, but would like company. I chat on here but might not physically see anyone for days. That sounds just like me . I have some regrets - doubt anyone goes through life who doesn't? But the one that makes me ponder how different my life would be is splitting with my Egyptian fiance - I was in Beirut,he was in Abu Dhabi and I was supposed to fly out for our party when as usual all hell broke loose in Beirut and heavy fighting broke out,the airport closed and I refused to leave my 2 charges and travel overland to Damascus to catch a flight for our engagement party.He would/could not accept that I put the children before him (I was sole charge then) and broke it off.I met up with him several years later by sheer chance - outside Harvey Nichols - and he now has homes in Cairo,LA,NY and Abu Dhabi - beats my 1 bed house in Taunton but at the time I made the right decision as the boys father was unable to return to Lebanon for almost 3 months because he couldn't travel back from abroad as it was just too dangerous for him so I was responsible for the 2 lads and it was a hellish time for us all. So now it's just me and the Ds but I'm happy with my life as it is despite the constant financial restraints Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyMalc Posted June 27, 2009 Report Share Posted June 27, 2009 Crikey, this one has had me muse for ages .... I'm gonna be 39 in a couple of months and I'm single, I'm renting my flat off the council and my job will come to an end anywhere between October of this year and October next year, as the company is moving abroad and none of us can come - not that I'd want to anyway. Somehow, however, I'm not worried or down about things - for a change - because looking back on my life so far, with all its ups and downs, it appears that everything has really happened for a reason and all in all I've not had a bad run so far. Rather than doing anything different I would have liked to be different tho: I would like to have had more confidence in my ability to achieve something, instead of bumbling from one job that I don't enjoy to another and hope for the best. What I'm gonna do next, I've no idea, just see what the agency comes up with. I've never had any big dreams in my life in terms of work or vocation, and I would have liked to have a better idea of what I wanted to be and the motivation to go for it. I'm sure it's nobody's lifelong ambition to work in a call centre I'd also like to suffer less from depression, as it just wastes my time and gets me nowhere (but try telling me that while I'm on a downer! ). I have travelled loads, until the travel bug left me, and that is something that I can always look back on as something that I wanted to do and have achieved. I've got lots and lots of great experiences to look back on, as well as despair at the times I f-ed up royally or took risks that I now think I should never have taken. They all worked out well tho, no lasting damage to me or anyone else . I've given up on the idea of ever finding someone to share my life with, it just ain't gonna happen. By now I'm too stuck in my ways, and will always let the dogs come first, and I just can't see anyone wanting to put up with that. It's bothered me for a while, but I'm past that now; I'm just gonna be an odd, cantankerous, old bint, with at least a couple of dogs by her side. Sometimes I like the idea of everything being different, but I can't be asked anymore to try - saves me a lot of disappointment when it doesn't work out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cheryl33 Posted June 27, 2009 Report Share Posted June 27, 2009 Billy sod off, you are not almost 39! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillyMalc Posted June 27, 2009 Report Share Posted June 27, 2009 Billy sod off, you are not almost 39! Errrr.... I was born in 1970 my dear - that would make me 39 this year, wouldn't it? I'll sure you my grey hairs next weekend, there are rather a lot! forgot to add in my previous post: to Alex Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kittycat Posted June 27, 2009 Report Share Posted June 27, 2009 oh Alex sorry you feel that way but I'm glad you were born, you was there for me when I was going through bad times with Nobert and my crazy family and you and your boys helped me through it I hope soon that things look better from your point of view and that one day it won't be so hard for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tobleronie Posted June 27, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 27, 2009 Alex I'm so sorry you feel that way You are a special person and have more friends than you know My musing last night I think is actually very selfish. I have a lovely life and want for nothing monetarily, but I wonder have I traded passion for security When I go back to Shropshire to visit where I originally came from I wonder should I have been such a horrible person who abandoned her husband and her young son because I thought life could be more exciting I'm very lucky that my son doesn't blame me (much) and I have a very good relationship with him, but would he have been a better settled person if I had stayed with his Dad But then would that have been right for me And where do I go from here hitting 50 do I continue to live a comfortable life or do what I would really love to do which is live in the country again, near to my son, and with passion in my life Too much musing I think Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lazydaisy Posted June 27, 2009 Report Share Posted June 27, 2009 I wish I'd never been born. I wouldn't even want to go back and start again because it's too hard, I'd just like to have not ever been born. It makes me feel really sad for you that you wish you had never been born. I wish you did not feel this way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phoebejo Posted June 27, 2009 Report Share Posted June 27, 2009 I don't regret anything or wish I'd made different choices. I've made mistakes but with hindsight they were all for a reason and I've learnt from them. Mr Hazell, our girls & our animals are the bestest things in the entire world and if I'd done anything at all differently they might not be here in my life now. I guess, because I'm both very stubborn & selfish, that everything I've done I've done because it felt right, regardless of the consequences. If I'd gone through life doing what others wanted me to do or what I 'should' have done I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. I'm an optimist and very laid back about nearly everything and I've always thought everything would sort itself out eventually and it does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fee4 Posted June 28, 2009 Report Share Posted June 28, 2009 i suppose my only regret is not being a mother...but it wasnt to be and sometimes you just have to accept that "here your life lies".But it makes me sad when i allow myself to dwell on it.... as someone with no siblings i do in the wee small hours sometimes worry about the future when i will be without any family at all. life is hard-and I have no wish to repeat it: i find it deeply reassuring that there is a start a middle and an end. i dont think there is any grand plan or even any meaning to life outside what you pesonally attach to it "i regret nothing, would change still less, since there my past life lies, why alter it?" fee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzeanna Posted June 29, 2009 Report Share Posted June 29, 2009 I sympathise with you Alex...I wish I'd been born to someone who wanted me and hadn't told me all the time she'd wanted a boy! my dad doted on me but he died when I was six. I wish I'd worked harder at school and had a proper career, and in one way I wish I'd never married at 18 to escape my mother, but then I wouldn't have had my two wonderful children. My main wish at this exact moment is that I had more money, so I didn't have to worry so much about the future! My life hasn't gone the way I might have hoped, but I have a lovely man who loves me to bits and still finds me sexy despite me being two stone heavier than when we met, with a crocked knee and arthritic hands which mean I can't work and help out with the cash, so things could be a lot worse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happylittlegreensquirrel Posted June 29, 2009 Report Share Posted June 29, 2009 I think as well that life is a series of mini reviews and I am not the same person I was at say 17 or 27 I have in the past allowed people to use me or treat me as a bit of a doormat and that made me sad/worthless and a bit angry Now I am aware of it I have a choice to either regret it or to say okay I recongise what I have done and make the changes I need to stop it happening again so I a grateful it happened at some level so that I could learn from it and pass what I have learnt to Aisling who hopefully will not repeat some of my mistakes ( I am sure she will make loads of her own instead but thats life ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddyboy Posted June 29, 2009 Report Share Posted June 29, 2009 NO THIS APPLIES TO THINGS YOU HAVE DONE YOURSELF, NOT SOMETHING THAT MAY HAVE BEEN OUTSIDE YOUR CONTROL: Too many people make themselves miserable and upset with "if only" and "I wish I had/hadn't done xyz". My philosophy is you did/didn't do it, you maybe decided it was not a good idea after all, but you learn by the event and maybe weigh up the pros and cons for anything a bit more carefully in future. You cannot undo what has been done but you can decide whether to waste an awful lot of time and happiness regretting it or just say "ok, put it down to experience and get on enjoying the rest of your life". My brother is a moaning "glass half empty" person who apparently had an unhappy childhood. Shame really as his main playmate was me, and I am a "half full" person - and surprisingly enough he does not say it to me, just to upset my mother (another "half empty" person) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yantan Posted June 29, 2009 Report Share Posted June 29, 2009 In a word "No". I have taken everything, good and bad that life has thrown at me and come out the better for it I believe anyway, although others may disagree I do believe everything that happens happens for a reason. Alex, like Steph, I am glad you were born too. You are a lovely person Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amaranth Posted June 30, 2009 Report Share Posted June 30, 2009 Without me there'd be one less cynic in the world and a lot of uneaten Chocolate... Now that would be a crime ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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