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having chased a patient round the grounds in the sun-my friend said to my colleague-you dont sweat much for a fat lass do ya? i watched the silence descend.... fee

can i recommend Laurie King-beautifully written-totally engrossing-just finished Folly cant go wrong with george macdonald fraser-his macuslan in the rough had me crying with laughter and his memories of being in Burma-quatered safe out here- was deeply moving...and as for the Flashman series-an absolute classic try Evelyn waugh-sword of honour-based on his time as a very bad soldier-very funny and moving without ever being sentimental or-and i always recommend this-winifred holtby-south riding-this is one of The best books ever written and it saddens me deeply that she is not better known- if you like cats-try Lillian jackson Braun-the cat Who...series cant go wrong if you like Roman history with working class bite-historically accurate but funny and very real-you will Never look at Roman life in the same way again!-try Lynsey davis (Falco books) lastly if you dont object to a bit of very steamy sex in your books-try JR ward-Black Dagger Brotherhood books-fab series-every single person i have lent the first one to has bought the series within the week! fee

very sad to hear this-she was much loved. be at peace fee

hello peeps...sorry i havent been around for erm-well a damn long time! but im here now-so hello! fee ps both Michael and lilo lil are both still here!

i was told that if i couldnt look after a long haired dog-i shouldnt have one-as it was cruel to shave his coat off. Afghans should have a coat or they look all sad-pointing to my saluki. Granted-he has the face for sad fee

i was happily reading Empire (film review mag) as i quite like a gd film-im more a reader but there you go. I read a review for The Human Centipede (in essence mad scientist attaches the mouths of a number of unfortunates to the anus of the person in front-thus forming a centipede...) Now-im pretty broad minded-i like a bit of erotica, i dont object to nudity, and im pretty much against censorship...but am i really alone in finding the current trend in torture porn (saw/hostel etc) as faintly disturbing-and perhaps more importantly that others find it OK to sit on a saturday night with their beloved-popcorn in one hand whilst watching someone else have their eyes drilled out? that rape/humiliation & torture are really entertainment? i have tried-but i really dnt get the "entertainment" -maybe in jaded having worked with violence most of my adult life-and so i dont see anything even vaguely entertaining in t. Is it me? am i being small minded and over exaggerating the relative importance of such films.. any views? fee

she & you are an inspiration . she didnt give up-and you (despite all her difficulties) have never given up on her. fee

still beautiful-and i love your home-decorated with books, hounds and contented women.... fee

sorry i havent been around much-work has been a .....treasure. can i please have some good thoughts for Michael, my adored and beloved boy. he is off for surgery on Monday to have a growth removed....the vet hopes it is benign-but if it turns out to have spread I have already decided to let him go whilst under. he was and remains a traumatised boy-and i wont put him through being interfered with by strange people...it is his greatest fear.... cheers fee

yes they have the right to be heard in a democracy. to roughly papaphrase Churchill-i may fundamentally disagree with everything you stand for , but i would fight to the death for your right to say it fee

i have been to Rigby & pellar Fantastic-the last time my somewhat ample chest was in this position-i was 18! i will be going back-it was just brilliant-expensive-but what service... fee

thinking of you on the lonely path of grief fee

ian-when i worked in hackney-the hospital had its own beat officer. i have been trained in breakaway technique/restraint-and previosuly riot control we have some security we have alarm bells. you keep saying it Shouldnt happen-& unions etc should stop "it" happening does not affect the reality-that violence is meeted out daily to Emergency workers in this country. I choose to work in mental health-i did not choose to be the punching bag for societys ills. yes-i accept a certain level of abuse comes with my job-but the levels of voilence are now at the stage where we are struggling to find nurses/social workers who Will work in the worst areas. The attitude that you chose to do the job-so get on with it hardly attracts people to work in these areas: you then end up in a viscious spiral of low staffing/too many agency staff-and increase of violence so even more regular staff leave. the levels of abuse that i find acceptable to work within (and lets be honest-i have largely worked in inner city acute/intensive care/prisons-so im no delicate flower_!) is now the norm-not the exception- if people like me leave the profession-who precisely is going to care for the psychotic drug user running down bexleyheath high street tomorrow? fee ps the man who was eating himself-has curently stopped.....and the chap that gave me the tirade of abuse is now beginning to calm down on his medication-will luck and a following wind he will be returning home to his wife in the next few weeks......

Michael has a poor paw-he has developed weeping dermatitis on his wrist (above pad) vet thinks likely allergy to the wheat field stubble. deeply unimpressed by having cream rubbed in..... my beautiful, beautiful boy fee

recent research has shown that nurses are one of The most At Risk professions. Much as i would like to think positively when dealing with the general public-my experience is to assume the worst. i was assaulted by a patients husband-who hit me over the head with a chair when i asked his wife if she was taking any medication. i was badly bitten by a drug addict (my colleague lost his grip during a restraint) my HIV testing /counselling was great fun i have had a drug user stab me with a used needle-my second round of HIV and hepatitis counselling was even more fun the second time today-i helped break up a fight-the abuse went as follows " f*** you, you f****** fat c***-im going to f****** kill you-im going to rip your tits off and rape your f****** children" Joyous wheni worked in inner city acute/intensive care psychiatry-serious danger was and is a daily occurance. i came into the profession -niave though it may now sound-because i genuinely believed i could make a difference to peoples lives. Do you know what? i still believe that i can and i do. But I never, never underestimate the risk that we as the emergency services take in just trying to do our jobs. fee

Your sentiments are fine Ian. I shall remind myself of that when facing a disciplinary-or when i cant pay the mortgage. As a nurse i have met some very difficult and challenging situations-today i was dealing with a man who is currently cutting and/or biting lumps out of himself and eating them. I accept that dealing with these situations is something I choose to deal with. I dont choose to be then prosecuted because you as the Customer/client/patient dont like what I have done and because i did not follow my trusts agreed proceeduresI am therefore solely responsible. have i taken risks? Yes But the older i get the less willing I am to lose my job/ability to put food on my table/pension Fee

melp-lovely to see you aound woman-i often think of you when your not about. new york-fan bloody tastic-only 2 days ago i was sitting in cnetral park listening to jazz.... everyone has the arse and/or jet lag. electrician here today 2x decorators coming wednesday to give quote dishwasher repair man here thursday. off to scotland to see poorly relatives at weekend. remember i said i was already in double figures for attending funerals this year? well we didnt go to OH cousin funeral as away: the day after that funeral-his son dropped dead ie saturday...so we are going to that one. How will the widow cope? i cant imagine im sick of wearing black-and im sick of the house being a mess-and im sick of 2009 fee

as a qualified nurse-i know if i stop & help -i make myself liable for accusations/being sued....stepping outside my professional boundaries and thus with no legal protection especially if it can be shown i have not followed policy-especially health & safety policy if i dont stop-i have broken my duty of care so basically-im wrong whatever i do happy days fee

i wish you both every happiness today-and in the coming years Fiona

I give up. i live in a Victorian house-3 years ive been here: so far new kitchen new downstairs loo new back door new front door decorate 1 room replace all gutters/fascias new boiler inc remove asbestos new shower screen. new radiators throughout lots of lecky problems-now sorted inc new fuse board complete re-fence of 130 ft+ garden remove old shed/put up new shed & greenhouse the kitchen was done in May-the day we got back in the new boiler packed up-repairs done-which showed radiators knackered-so replaced-which showed some lecky problems ie nothing earthed!that done-which showed issues with new kitchen... and today-the Bloody Dishwasher packed up-AAAARGH if i ever move again-im moving into a new house-and Pish to "character" houses fee

But the point I am trying to make Ian is that they often do know that you and i "Society" will see what they are doing are wrong in our eyes-but they still continue. now i know this is taking the statement to an uncomfortable place-but go with me. Today i drove too fast-at least 15 miles over the speed limit-now i know i shouldnt, i know most people wouldnt approve-but i did it, cant say im that bothered if others think what i did was wrong, i got away with it-and in all likelihood I will do it again. the thought process & emotion i have just described for Me is frighteningly close to that of the personality disorder i wanted it-i got it-sod the consequences and/or your opinion. i dont get my thrills torturing small children or animals in case anyone is concerned-! But i can see the seeds of such behaviours/thinking patterns in myself. i dont believe in hell-or heaven-but i think they should remain in custody Fiona

Ian-i dont believe in "Evil" as i think it has too many religious associations. To be Evil is to be labelled as other-not us-seperate. were all OK -the Evil ones are out there....something to be afraid of in the wee small hours of the night I think those that commit such acts -are not other-but are actually frighteningly close to me-that i find far more scary. i dont see Evil as unchanging-thats why such people who act in this fashion are so frightening-1 moment theyre having tea with you, discussing the cricket-the next battering someone to death-for me its the very changability that makes it so awful-if they were unrelentingly Evil then we would be able to spot them a mile off-. EG i worked with a chap who have very, very brutally killed someone/s (details not included to avoid identification) in the prison i worked in -he rehabilitated numerous small birds found exhausted on their way to the nature reserve-and was a Listener (prisoner trained in suicide prevention-a role in which he was outstanding) I considered him one of the most dangerous men i worked with as he totally believed he had acted in an acceptable manner-and would/could not see anything wrong with his actions.....given a different set of circumstances from his incarceration-i have no doubt he would of killed again But if you were a small exhausted bird-he was a life saver.... fee as for the bomber-need to refresh my memory on the details before answering

roll on 2010-im sick to death of 2009 SIL-out of hosp following major surgery for ovarian cancer-but now tripping on the pain killers. my grandmother-in hosp-borrowed time OH cousin-dropped dead on sunday OH best mate-major heart attack i worked out i have been to so many funerls this year that I am well into double figures ive got a chest infection...again lovely electrician who is a love (slightly obsessed with electrics & keeps trying to explain finer detail) has found several major issues in house-so im now £720 lighter-but a lot safer-the chaps who put the new kitchen in didnt do all the lecky right-and i have the photographic evidence-and nice man also found the gas pipe to cooker-instead of being bracketed to wall was supported by a box of screws!! i am seeing kitchen man on Monday-and i hope hes wearing kevlar knickers-as i am in the mood to explain in fairly graphic detail what i think of him & his workmanship and breathe fee-breathe fee

Snow i fully understand where you are coming from. As you know I have worked in prisons/secure units and with the mentally ill. For me the most frightening aspect is not that there is some sub species of human-a sort of invasion of the body snatchers kind of thing-but rather a continuum of behaviours....as such i think "Evil" is within all of us-its how we manage ourselves in society the fact that i dont believe in Evil as a seperate existance-but rather think that that the cruel/sadistic/immoral is down to a mixture of genetics/poor parenting/poor education and Choice. I dont think everyone can be made to fit in or even understand or care what consequence their behaviour has (i dont think of saved-too many religious overtones) There are a few who can be helped-some who with time and learning can change-but a good proportion cant and wont-and for them i beleiev that prison is the best place. In fact many of this type feel happier/safer in prison as it has a clear regime/limited choices/very clear boundaries etc I do think we should have prisons that are designed for Life: and those who work with prisoners who can/want to be rehabilitated: it may make me sound like a bleeding heart-something anyone who knows me will tell you is far from the truth! But i do believe that some of those who come through the door deserve a second chance Fiona Ps Just re-read your post. Are you referring to those with personality/psychopathic disorders diectly?

im sorry but i dont support mob rule-nor the idea that the individual should act as judge/jury/executioner. what was done to that child was nothing short of torture-im not defending them or their actions-personally i would of liked to see all 3 get life. However-if we are to be a civilised society in the whole-then we have to have rules that we abide by-even if we dont always agree with. one of these is that once a person has done their time-they are free people. However the horror surrounding the case means that they must be protected against the mob-if we dont protect them-we are supporting anarchy and vigilanti behaviour. At what point does the vigilanti become the aggressor as well? when he decides women cant wear trousers? when not following the right creed of christianity is wrong? when your the wrong skin colour for this area? or you look like someone in the newspaper? when the last issue of paedophilia came out there were several men who were assaulted because they "looked" like a paedophile-and one consultant paediatrician who had her house attacked.... fee