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Musing On Life


Tobleronie

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I wish I'd never been born. I wouldn't even want to go back and start again because it's too hard, I'd just like to have not ever been born.

 

 

I am so sorry you feel that way Alex, I am sure there are a lot of people and animals who are very glad that were and grateful for your presence in their lives :GroupHug:

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:GroupHug: Alex. Sam has summed up (much more succinctly) what I was trying to say

 

As for my life, there are many choices I would make differently, but none that would have left me without my lovely kids. There is still time to make some now. (I was 10 when Elvis died)

Edited by chasta
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:GroupHug: alex

 

i am happy with my lot, i have had two parents who loved me and i think brought me up to have morals and manners (most of the time :rolleyes: )

I have a house that i own, a husband who lets me get on with it and is my best mate too, and undying loyalty from my animals,

 

My only regret

 

That my beloved dad died just before he got to walk me down the aisle, which was so important to him, so i walked alone as i wouldnt allow anyone to take his place. My wedding day was the happiest and saddest day of my life all rolled into one

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I wish I'd never been born. I wouldn't even want to go back and start again because it's too hard, I'd just like to have not ever been born.

Alex :hug: Sam has summed it up better than I could; please don't forget the good things you've brought to other peoples/animals lives.

 

 

I've had a ponder on this and there are a few maybes that came up.....

 

Buying White Lodge took Gary & I into a very hard phase in our lives, caused me to have a breakdown, our marriage to fail, and I got an injury that means I now need a knee replacement. But....... we rehomed over 300 dogs, a lot of which would be dead by now, we made a lot of good friends through both the rescue aspect and the business aspect and we gained enough equity to be able to have a comfortable and amicable divorce.

 

It would have been easier to stay in Reading, where we both had a strong network of family and friends. It's hard building a new life in a place where you know very few people, but we got there in Melton Mowbray and we can do it again.

 

No regrets regarding the divorce; Gary and I had drifted apart in so many ways, better we split when we did than end up hating each other. I saw him a few weeks ago and was pleased to see him and Jack, but he's nothing more than a friend, now.

 

The biggie that's a bit raw with me now is Matt. I met him through a friend (Mr Lunch with those of you with long memories) and spent several months with him as a friend and studiously avoiding getting involved with him. I KNEW the distance, the time, the cost etc. would make a difference. He's 16 years younger than me but that's never mattered, except possibly the issue of maturity :rolleyes: But meeting Matt shortly before I moved to Northampton meant my weekends were enveloped in doing things with him. It made the transition easier, but it stopped me from getting out in Northampton and building a new life.

 

We split last week; all the irreconcilable differences were still there and we both agreed it was never going to work. We're going to be mates; we still talk regularly, and have made plans to do things together later this year. But I can't help thinking that my life here would be more sorted if we'd always stayed friends instead of becoming partners.

 

I don't think I'd 'undo' anything, as the path I've walked has taken me to places and people I'd not want to have missed. But I think it's human nature to think "What if....?"

Edited by ClazUK
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Would I change anything? I don't think so. I like my job. I'm in charge of my life. (Mostly!! :rolleyes: ) Sometimes I think it would be nice to have someone to share the good/bad bits. But I guess the hassle of living with someone now doesn't appeal.

 

So although I have made mistakes along the way it has made me what I am and I am comfortable with me. (At the mo)

 

:hug: for Alex.

Edited by greys mum
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Ive had lots of 'what if' moments through my 40 years, and made loads of mistakes. Some mistakes I injoyed so much I made them again and again :laugh: I put it all down to experience and learned from some of them and some I probably havnt learned well enough and will get wrong again. Ive trusted people I shoudlnt have trusted, tried to help people and had it thrown back at me and made friends who I shouldnt have made frieinds with. Will it stop me carrying on the way I am now? Nope. Some people value me for the fact I try, and some hate me for the fact I dont try hard enough in their eyes. My life, my experiences, my feck ups and my fun.

 

Overall Im happy with my lot, I work with dogs, I rehome greyhounds, I do what I can for the charities that mean something to me. And when I grow old I probably will wear purple :laugh:

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Im wearing a lot of green, I dont know what stage that puts me at lol

id like to have a partner, but dont want to share my bed, I like my space and independance, but would like company. I chat on here but might not physically see anyone for days.

My ex has given me so much insecurity that im having trouble getting over them. If I hadnt met him I wouldnt have had these boys, but might have had the 4+ children I wanted.

Ill never know

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I have thought in te past thaty I should never have married my first husband, but if I hadn't I would not have my wonderful daughter or my two lovely grandchildren so I can't complain. I am very happy now with my OH and life in general.

I have always thought "What will be, will be" and things happen for a reason I don't understand

 

Barbara

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Oh Alex :GroupHug: :GroupHug: :GroupHug:

 

I have made some bad choices, one of them is leaving my nursing course when I was 18. I quite like my job in school, but wish I had a 'proper' career that pays a decent wage. I married when I was 20 and now 47 and still married to the same man! I have 2 wonderful successful children, love all my dogs & cats and have a lovely house. I wish I lived in The New Forest as that is my favourite place. We foster a teenager, which I find really hard and secretly wish it was just the 4 of us again. I had wonderful parents who gave us a happy, stable, secure childhood, I feel blessed for that. However, I have now lost both parents so miss them very much. I realise I have a lot to be grateful for. :)

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:GroupHug: Alex, so sorry you feel like that :GroupHug:

 

There's a whole lot of stuff I wish I'd done differently. I've been married for 38 years, most of them happy BUT my OH is nothing like the man I thought I would marry and I sometime wonder how different my life would be if the relationship I had with a very artistic, creative person had worked out.

 

I wish I'd lived abroad even for a short time. I wish I'd worked harder at school and gone to uni. I wish I'd been a better Mum to my kids. (They're both ok in spite of my blunders.)

 

I really hope that I don't have to come back again - life after death or reincarnation - I don't want to do it all again, it's too bloody hard.

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