our little godsend Posted November 14, 2007 Report Share Posted November 14, 2007 (edited) Emma, a Chesapeake Bay Retriever, came to us as a foster from the Oldies Club on the 18th December 2005. Straight away, we knew we'd fail. She was a stubborn old girl and proved to be difficult from day one. Each problem didn't put us off though. In fact it did the opposite. We loved and laughed at each and every foible. We knew we just had to keep her. The bond between her and Stitch confirmed it for us On the day we decided to keep her, we made her a promise. Emma was to stay with us for however long she had left. We knew the time would be short, but we would do our best by her. We would love her, care for her, cherish her and give her anything she needed. We also promised to never ever let her suffer! Emma was approx 10/11 when she came to us. We felt at this time of her life it would be unfair to pass her on so we decided we could/would give her a good quality of life in her twilight years. We promised that when the day arrived that we both felt she never had that quality, that we would let her go. 1 year and 11 months later we made that decision. Yesterday, 13th November 2007 we sent Emma to Rainbow Bridge I had made a list of all the reasons why we should keep her with us and a list of why we should let her go. Apart from the fact that she liked to have a toddle around and a good old scratch under the ear, the only reason to keep her with us was because we didn't want to lose her. But, we could use that as a reason as we had promised from day one that our selfish feelings and needs would never come into it. Emma had been diagnosed with an enlarged heart. At first the medication worked. When it stopped, we topped it up with other medication. Eventually that stopped working There was nothing further we could do to ease her illness. Because of her heart she suffered with a hard, heavy cough. In the end she had little respite from it. Then came the tremors. They were not fits, so it couldn't be treated. The vet suspected they were neurological. She would shake/tremble, sometimes quite violently. She would be aware I was there, but at the same time she had a vacant look in her eyes. I would often sit with her and hold her until they subsided, but they would occur up to 8/9 times a day and occasionally they would last up to an hour. Of course she had the other age related problems, arthritis, occasional incontinence, but that didn't matter, we still felt she had a quality of life. But, when I saw her legs starting to give way and noticed she walked splayed and uncomfortably - almost painfully - we had to have "the talk". In addition she had also stopped finishing off her meals - for a greedy dog this was not a good sign. Glynne and I spoke and asked each other - Does Emma have a quality of life? We had to put our feelings aside and think about the promise to her. Right up until she slipped away in our arms at the vets I wanted to change my mind. But I couldn't. If I did, then I would have broken my promise. My heart is breaking and and I miss her so much. I keep telling myself that I have made a mistake! that it was too soon! that she could have had longer! I know for a fact that she could have gone on longer. But to what expense? Ours? Emma no longer had a life, she merely existed day to day. I'm sure she was miserable. The sparkle in her eyes had long gone. She had little sleep/rest because of her heart related cough. It was constant and nothing could be done to help her. I'd like to think we were selfless and brave for letting her go. But I dont feel it. Was it the right thing for her? YES, i believe so. Was it the right thing for us? No. I feel broken and sad and I miss her so so much. I just want her back :cry: Do I regret our decision? of course I do, but only because I miss her. Did we keep our promise? Yes. Emma (aka Emma girl, and fondly known as ratbag, little b1tch, little sh!t, gorgeous and our special girl) - we miss you so so much. Thank you for the joy and laughs you gave us. I hope you know how much we love you and I hope you enjoyed your time with us. Run free at the bridge with Spot, Stripe and Patch. You are now healthy and pain free. You gave us so much and the only thing we could do for you was to release you from your pain and suffering. It hurts like hell, but we kept our promise - Mum, Dad and Stitchy Boy Cindy and everyone at the Oldies Club - thank you for entrusted Emma into our care. She was a love, a pain in the backside and a treasure. There is nothing we wanted to change about her. She was perfect. Thank you Edited November 14, 2007 by our little godsend Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cycas Posted November 14, 2007 Report Share Posted November 14, 2007 I'm so sorry for your loss and for the hard decision you had to make. Goodbye beautiful Emma. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sanrossscot Posted November 14, 2007 Report Share Posted November 14, 2007 Oh Denese, I know your heart must be breaking but you have given Emma the ultimate gift of your love, she went having known such a happy time and surrounded by your love Goodbye EMMA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jemimap Posted November 14, 2007 Report Share Posted November 14, 2007 So sorry to hear this. Thinking of you Run free Emma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
staffymad Posted November 14, 2007 Report Share Posted November 14, 2007 Oh Denese, I know your heart must be breaking but you have given Emma the ultimate gift of your love, she went having known such a happy time and surrounded by your love Goodbye EMMA I couldn't have said it better myself. I am forever greatful that you became the 'foster keeper' you were so determined not to become as we couldn't have asked for a more loving home than yours for our Emma. My heart and thoughts are with all of you at this sad time. Cindy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirtychicken Posted November 14, 2007 Report Share Posted November 14, 2007 Run free, Emma for you - Denese, Glynne and Stitch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
our little godsend Posted November 14, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 14, 2007 thank you for your support and kind words Our darling Emma girl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReikiAnge Posted November 14, 2007 Report Share Posted November 14, 2007 I'm so sorry but so glad she found you all Sleep tight Emma I will light a candle for you later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redditchlady Posted November 14, 2007 Report Share Posted November 14, 2007 I am so very sorry Denese. Emma was a lovely girl. Sleep tight Emma Kazz xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissa Posted November 14, 2007 Report Share Posted November 14, 2007 Run free Emma , thanks to you she will now have lots of happy memories to take to the bridge with her, you did the very hard but very brave thing & did what is best for her not you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickentikka Posted November 14, 2007 Report Share Posted November 14, 2007 Ultimately you showed how much you loved her by keeping your promise. Be young at the bridge Emma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rmb3971 Posted November 14, 2007 Report Share Posted November 14, 2007 Run free over the bridge Emma. Thinking of you all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cassiespookymum Posted November 14, 2007 Report Share Posted November 14, 2007 Ultimately you showed how much you loved her by keeping your promise I agree, Run free at the bridge Emma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jacqui d Posted November 14, 2007 Report Share Posted November 14, 2007 gentle journey to the bridge sweet Emma Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melp Posted November 14, 2007 Report Share Posted November 14, 2007 I'd like to think we were selfless and brave for letting her go. You are Sleep tight Emma xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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