Learning To Drive - Need To Boost My Confidence

[ReikiAnge]

I'm far too old not to be able to drive yet and am trying to find the courage to start! I know it will seem very silly to those who have been driving for years, but I'm terrified

 

I did have lessons about 5-6 years ago I think it was - and was ok in them, as far as I got. I remember getting told off for exceeding the 60 limit, so I obviously wasn't particularly scared that day

 

Unfortunately my driving instructor back then put me off - I didn't really enjoy having a 50+ year old married man putting his arm around my shoulders as he walked me to the car, nor putting his hand on my thigh during a lesson and in the end I just couldn't face having any more lessons so I stopped and haven't tried again since. That probably sounds very pathetic but it just felt very uncomfortable and inappropriate and it put me off learning for ages.

 

I also worry that as I'm not a good passenger, I wouldn't be safe on the road - people tell me if I'm in control of the car I'll feel better but I'm really scared I'll panic if an animal jumps out in front of me or something and end up causing an accident

 

BUT I REALLY really would like to be able to drive. My dogs are a big (main) motivation in this as I could take them a bit further afield without having to rely on Rob being around.

 

I am just thinking ahead to really little local journeys to begin with and the thought of motorway driving really fills me with dread so being able to help with transport runs is not a motivating factor right now. I could however do more "hands-on" rescue stuff in other ways, as I once did, if I didn't have to rely on public transport to take me on a magical mystery tour to get anywhere

 

So - has anyone else learned as a terrified person and/or "late in life" (I'm mid thirties)? I thought if I posted this thread, it would give me a kick up the bum I need to get going and book my first lesson - I do have a good instructor lined up, have met him and he's a nice, non-sleazy guy and took Rob for his last lesson prior to his test

 

Positive vibes needed

[mooandboo]

I know exactly how you feel Ange as I haven't learned yet (put off by OH's Dad as instructor - qualified and very good but just not right for me - and a chauvinistic examiner) but my Mum learned in her late thirties and passed first time (and was a better driver than my Dad who'd been driving since young )

 

An instructor you feel comfortable with will make a huge difference - good luck

[Hayley]

This is something I have put off for far too long too - and OH is a driving instructor

 

I am thirty and about to move about an hour's drive from work (instead of a 5 minute walk) so I see it as now or never.

 

I have however decided to take the easy option of learning in an automatic

 

Good luck with your driving

[lil_angel]

Good luck Ange!! Its never to late to learn. When i started i was a bit apprehensive and turned into a wobbly jelly everytime it came to my test. I blame those fluorescent jackets the examiners wear. I did succeed in the end

 

What i wound recommend is using one of those cd packs for both the theory and hazards. The more you can practice those the more your confidence will grow in that area. Also helps when you are driving you can put the theory into practice.

 

As you said having a good instructor always helps and it doesnt matter how many lessons you have you have to feel confident in yourself before attempting the test.

 

I passed 9 months ago and the freedom that comes with it is fantastic and makes it all worth while.

 

Lots of luck

Edited September 15, 2007 by lil_angel

[jax39]

I was terrified too, had a few lessons, hated it, gave up, a bit like you. Eventually, I decided a crash course was the answer, get it over and done with as quickly as possible, I took my first lesson on the Monday, passed my test on the following Tuesday, it worked for me! Though I know its different these days, as you have to do a theory test as well, but might be worth thinking about.

[incapuppy]

Ange, I'm sure you will do just fine

 

I didn't learn to drive until I was 27 and I have to say that it's not something that came naturally to me. However, with perseverance I did OK and I'm sure that if a plank like me can drive, then mostly anyone can!

 

I too had lessons a few years prior to that and was put off by a creepy instructor who didn't have a very caring attitude towards my nervousness.

 

As you have met your intended instructor and like the guy I'm sure things will be a whole heap different to your previous negative experience.

 

It was funny, before I learned to drive I really wasn't that bothered about it, but once I had, I couldn't imagine how I ever managed without being able to.

 

Good luck Ange, I have every faith in you!

[merledogs]

Go for it Ange (and anybody else who is dithering) - what have you got to lose? If you don't like your instructor, change them (it's your choice). If you would feel more comfortable with a woman, then choose a female instructor.

 

I didn't take my test until I was 27 and I wished that I'd done it years earlier. I remember coming out of the test centre and being stunned that I'd passed (I was convinced I'd failed).

 

The first time I got in a car on my own, I felt the most amazing sense of freedom, that I could anywhere, anytime without having to rely on anybody else

 

 

It really will change your life for the better

Edited September 15, 2007 by madmerle

[Rumpole]

i have never even held a provisional licence and the thought of driving horrifies me, it bugs oh that i dont as we have a ford focus that hasnt turned a sodding wheel for 12 months on the drive with insurance tax and mot as he uses the van it would be majorly usefull for short vets trips if i could pluck up the courage to learn

[jezza]

Go for it!!! I tell you what, if you do it I'll do it I'm 30 and although I did learn and failed a test when I was 19, I then moved away to go to uni and had no money to carry on. And that was it really, I've never taken it up again. I am quite scared about it now and I reckon the older you get the more scared you get.

 

I thought about learning in an automatic but I couldn't find many instructors but I may start looking again. Anyone know of any in the leeds area or know where I can go to find one (ie. a website)?

 

Right then, just gotta find some money to pay for the lessons now

 

Ooh, just wanted to add, I know what you mean about the lecherous man thing! I get on the bus with this bloke who is like that! He is a really nice man and I need to talk to someone on my hour commute but he makes me want to die when he squeezes my hands and puts his arms round my shoulders I know he would be mortified if I told him what I thought as he is just one of those 'touchy feely' people, whereas I really am NOT!!! Reason to learn to drive??? I think so

Edited September 15, 2007 by jezza

[EAD]

My friend is 38 and doing his driving test for the 1st time on Monday......all being well he will pass.

 

Costs a bloomin fortune now compared to many years ago when I did it

[Sherlock Bones]

when are you driving up for a visit then?

[ranirottie]

if you can ride a bike or control a pushchair you can drive a car! Its the same thing,watching your surroundings,judging gaps,keeping in a straight line etc. Good luck,of course you can do it! x

[kathy40uk]

I'm far too old not to be able to drive yet and am trying to find the courage to start! I know it will seem very silly to those who have been driving for years, but I'm terrified

 

 

I also worry that as I'm not a good passenger, I wouldn't be safe on the road - people tell me if I'm in control of the car I'll feel better but I'm really scared I'll panic if an animal jumps out in front of me or something and end up causing an accident

 

BUT I REALLY really would like to be able to drive. My dogs are a big (main) motivation in this as I could take them a bit further afield without having to rely on Rob being around.

 

 

 

You aren't too old Ange, I'm 47 and only started learning this year. I was terrified and still am, finding it so hard to make it all 'click' but it is (very) slowly getting better.

 

I'm a terrible passenger too and I never rode a bike or motorbike like a lot of people I know so had no idea of rules of the road but the longer I am taking lessons I am getting less scared of seeing cars on side roads as I am now beginning to accept that they have to stop there if you know what I mean. My mate (when I was in his car once) laughed and asked me if 'that side of the door I kept gripping was the magic button that stopped all the other traffic' I'm terrible, I flinch and everything.

 

At first it all felt like a video game and I have to remember not to shut my eyes when I think 'oh no there's a car coming towards me' but it seriously does feel better knowing I have the control over the car I am in.

I still think 20 mph should be MANDATORY on all roads though

 

It is costing me a fortune as I have had over 50 lessons so far but I AM glad I haven't given up trying cos like you my dogs are my motivation, I want to be able to take them to a beach and no one I know will have Orphan in their car

 

The theory discs do help like was said, it sory of made me less nervous knowing there were 'rules of the road' and it wasn't all a haphazard free for all.

 

 

 

...........dogs are an amazing motivator aren't they, I'd never have the willingness to keep at something if I wasn't doing it for them

Edited September 15, 2007 by kathy40uk

[ReikiAnge]

Thanks all Jezza, let me know when you have booked your first lesson

 

I was going to learn with a female instructor a while back Alex as she taught Rob but I changed my mind and this guy sounds really nice - plus he teaches in a cool mini (which would probably almost fit in the boot of our Volvo estate but all learner cars tend to be pretty small don't they?) and has sweets

 

We have an automatic car now but I think I would rather learn on a manual so I'm not restricted and then if I drive an automatic afterwards, that'll be cool.

 

Good luck to those that are already learning - and erm Dee, I'm having palpitations about driving to a nearby park, I think I will have to put Kent on hold for now

 

Thank you - feeling a bit happier about it already

[Maggi]

In a previous life I was a driving instructor. My oldest client was a lady who at the ripe age of 64 her hubby bought her a brand new golf gti. I was only a little jealous. To start off with she just wanted to sit in the car & talk about making jam & knitting. It did however relax her! She managed to pass her test though. I had another lady who was scared of trees, then another scared of hills! Yep I seemed to get all the weird ones.

 

If you want it badly enough it will happen. You can get some great dvd's now too, they again can build your confidence. Also make sure that you feel comfortable with your instructor. Good luck.