scotslass Posted March 1, 2007 Report Share Posted March 1, 2007 If you'd had to eat my mum's home cooking growing up in the 70's you'd say that was a merciful release. My sister and I both learnt to cook at school, as a form of self-defense. I shall never forget her Salted Broccoli with Added Salt. Or what we came to refer to as the Deformed Cake incident... Salted Broccoli with Added Salt I could live without. I'll take me rosy-tinted specs off now. If the mother suffers from depression then I suppose I can understand how this could have got out of control. Depression is a horrible illness which saps your energy and willpower. It would be all too easy for a depressed mum to avoid confrontations she hasn't got the strength to face by giving in all the time, and for an unhappy child to compensate for not receiving other sorts of attention by eating obsessively. I hope they both get the help they need. I agree about the effects of depression. I hope things improve too. She asked for help for years, but still continued to stuff his mouth I think its disgusting and he should be taken away into care. If it was the opposite and the kid was starving, they'd do it straight away? Yes, but if the child's needs are put first - as they should be - separating him from his home is only adding to his distress. In general, kids do better if they are supported at home - taking this boy away from his mother might seem kind to us, but imagine how he'd feel? I don't think there's a quick fix; it needs long-term consistent input. From our viewpoint it often seems that if we leave things alone we are uncaring and don't bother and leave children to be neglected.If we get involved we are interfering busybodies who meddle in family business.It seems we can never win. In this case this child will suffer significant long term health problems if left in this situation.It needs to be sorted and quickly,whatever that takes.He will end up dead by 30 if not. I agree, it's too easy for all of us out here to scapegoat the professionals. They are not , individually, perfect (I have many family members in social services) - but this family must have contact with all sorts of ordinary people too. How many of us would "interfere" if we saw a child in this state? The woman needs to be helped, yes, but as you've said, she also needs to know she is killing that boy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jakeysmum Posted March 1, 2007 Report Share Posted March 1, 2007 This is a hard one. I have kids and know how fussy they can be, I also know how hard it can be to feed them on a low income and if you have a fussy eater it's even harder. With help and support the mother can learn how to feed him if she really wants. I think this boy is a sad product of a society where kids no longer learn to cook with their mums and don't do it in school either, and also we give in when kids play up for crisps and sweets and I think also with difficult home circumstances the mum probably just feels happy she can feed him and make him happy. I personally think she has crossed the line and is killing him with kindness, he needs to get out and do some exercise and she needs to stop buying the junk food and attend some parenting classes! x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathyM Posted March 2, 2007 Report Share Posted March 2, 2007 And therein lies the root of the problem. If his mother really wants what's best for him, why on Earth is that kid of food even in the house for him to "steal" and scoff? I can't let her off on this one, despite my sympathy for her depression. She can't say she can't do anything about it because he steals from the cupboards - she *can* - she can stop buying in the junk in the first place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurel n Hardy Posted March 2, 2007 Report Share Posted March 2, 2007 I'll be blunt (i have no kids so cannot comment on bringing them up but i will). There is only one person feeding that kid. His mother. Only one person gives into his demands for food. His mother. Only one person can save that child from eating himself to death. His mother. She asks for help then seems (imho) to find every excuse not to take it up. She said she had panic attacks and couldn't attend meetings - so get someone else to take him. Get the meetings at home. Get him help. She's killing him and she's blaming everyone but herself. SB - Snap When i was a kid if i didnt eat my food ny brother and sisters had it and I went hungry until the next meal with nothing allowed inbetween You soon develope an appetite for all food put in front of you (and we ate really healthily) when your siblings take it straight off your plate. As for the mother - stupid woman.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pendlewitch Posted March 2, 2007 Report Share Posted March 2, 2007 First thing I thought was Prada Willi, second thing I thought was how could she allow him to be exposed in all his glory on TV? I don't have any kids but this just seemed wrong to me, he gets bullied at school anyway, next minute he's almost naked on TV!! Mum has depression but as awful as depression is, lying in bed smoking a fag while gran gets the child ready for school??? I don't think taking him away from his mum would be the right way to go but he has to have some help for god's sake. He won't reach 30 the way he is going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EGAR Posted March 2, 2007 Report Share Posted March 2, 2007 My son is picky to the extreme, he wont eat veg but I trick him by mashing them under his potatoes ;). IMHO it's pure lazyness and going the way of the least resistance for peace's sake. WRONG! We are what we eat and lack of exercise isn't exactly helping either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caz Posted March 6, 2007 Report Share Posted March 6, 2007 As there was a nurse involved in the case conference (which the media have seemingly mis-reported as a court case consistently ) I expect all those kind of things will have been covered.I strongly suspect this child will have had a full medical as part of his assessment prior to the child protection case conference. Nope - he hasn't! At the end of the Tonight with Trevor MacDonald documentary he mentioned the boy was going for tests later in the week to see if he had a hormone imbalance that could cause this - the hearing was set before the tests were done . Also working in research into obestity and diabetes at a top university I am aware samples have been requested for testing for leptin/MHC4 receptor mutations which can cause compulsive eating and obesity, these tests have not yet been carried out. He has normal siblings brought up on the same diet, he has abnormal excess height and he steals food (in some cases in children with the mentioned mutations locks have to be put on the cupboards and fridge to stop them eating). Yes there are some kids whose parents do overfeed but to get this obese there must be an underlying genetic reason. The family were from a deprived background and with the mother suffering from depression so what the house was dirty and the diet was poor - loads of kids in the UK are similar situations but don't get as big. We can all sit back in our nice middle-class homes and judge believing what the media want us too! There have been previous cases where highly publicised "overfed" children were found to have genetic causes but the media never bothered to update the public when these were discovered. Caz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kats inc Posted March 6, 2007 Report Share Posted March 6, 2007 Crikey they must be very lax with their referrals to paediatricians then.I doubt social services would move on a case unless it could be shown there was no medical reason for the child being overweight here.How could they even consider putting him on the child protection register and contemplate care proceedings if they haven't eliminated possible medical causes? Grounds for the family to take legal action there then. You'd be surprised how many reports I have had to send back to people asking them to quantify what they mean by 'dirty house'.What is dirty? It can mean hugely different things to different people.I agree with what you say about middle class views etc,it's one of my main annoyances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sillymooo Posted March 10, 2007 Report Share Posted March 10, 2007 I think its very easy for a parent to believe shes giving her child the best when really they're not. i'm not talking bout the obvious junk foods, i'm talking bout carbohydrates that turn to sugar such as bread, potatoes and pasta. all things you believe to be good for you child, but in actual fact slow motabolism down in a less than active child. obviously the times in which hes fed do need to be considered. bananas shouldnt be given just before bed, but it is still a fruit! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caz Posted March 16, 2007 Report Share Posted March 16, 2007 Just realised in my previous post there was a typo MHC4 should have read MCR4, he has now been referred to the leading specialist on genetic causes of obesity and hopefully getting the relevant tests done soon. Caz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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