nouggatti Posted February 27, 2007 Report Share Posted February 27, 2007 http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/6402113.stm I'm in two minds about this, having seen the mum on t.v. this evening and given her quote: "He refuses to eat fruit, vegetables and salads - he has processed foods. When Connor won't eat anything else, I've got to give him the foods he likes. "I can't starve him. But I'm confident I can get his weight down with a bit of help." On the news she was interviewed and said that if he does not get what he wants he basically kicks off until he does get it. Is there a bigger issue than a food addicted child here? I.e. lack of good parental discipline? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherlock Bones Posted February 27, 2007 Report Share Posted February 27, 2007 I'll be blunt (i have no kids so cannot comment on bringing them up but i will). There is only one person feeding that kid. His mother. Only one person gives into his demands for food. His mother. Only one person can save that child from eating himself to death. His mother. She asks for help then seems (imho) to find every excuse not to take it up. She said she had panic attacks and couldn't attend meetings - so get someone else to take him. Get the meetings at home. Get him help. She's killing him and she's blaming everyone but herself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nouggatti Posted February 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2007 That's more or less my own view, the mum doesn't seem to be 100% with a program to get this boy to eat healthily and will "give in" if he pushes enough. I know children can be terribly fussy eater, but this boy for goodness sake cannot exercise for more than ten mins without losing breath and vomiting. He has lost over a stone since December which is a good step, but I wonder how long it can last without 100% commitment from his mother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cycas Posted February 27, 2007 Report Share Posted February 27, 2007 Kid is indeed ginormous. Parents are to blame. But, not sure that child will necessarily be less damaged by being taken into care, than living with parent who feeds him what he wants. Taken into care is absolute last resort in my view and could surely make things worse. No point making him thin but causing some other problem. Good to hear child has lost a stone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Posted February 27, 2007 Report Share Posted February 27, 2007 Kid is indeed ginormous. Parents are to blame. But, not sure that child will necessarily be less damaged by being taken into care, than living with parent who feeds him what he wants. Taken into care is absolute last resort in my view and could surely make things worse. No point making him thin but causing some other problem. Good to hear child has lost a stone. I'd agree with Cycas on this - whilst the family clearly need some support & guidance & it should never have been allowed to get to this stage without someone intervening providing support is given and accepted & he continues on the path he's begun in the last couple of months a child is always better off with a family who love him or her than in the care system. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mop Posted February 27, 2007 Report Share Posted February 27, 2007 Having had a child who wouldn't eat fruit or veg I can understand this mother, that doesn't mean he should be given all the food he wants, mine wasn't, if he didn't eat his food he went without until the next meal time. He would eat cereal for breakfast and a sandwich for lunch but wouldn't eat much dinner. At 8 years old they can be very determined and will throw tantrums were they think it will have the most effect. These days I would probably be very wary of refusing to give Mark an alternative food with the way Social Services are now, I would probably have been accused of abusing and neglecting him so you can't win. If this mother feeds him what he will eat, she is accused of not taking care of him properly, if she refused to feed him anything that he shouldn't eat, she could leave herself open to being accused of abuse and neglect. If he has lost a stone since Christmas, she is getting somewhere with him, and to loose is much faster can do him more harm than good. Before I had children I used to say that any bad behaviour was the parents fault and my children wouldn't behave like that, having children soon taught me differently, children have minds of their own and it is difficult to get them to do what you want and they don't. No, it isn't always the parents fault. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wickychoo Posted February 27, 2007 Report Share Posted February 27, 2007 I heard on the radio that he has a fried breakfast every morning. He doesn't cook that himself does he?! His mum seems to not comprehend that "healthy" food is not Gillian McWhatsherface mung beans and wheatgrass, but can be nice things like stirfry and pasta. It is child abuse to an extent. She's the mother, regardless of how much he kicks off its her responsibility to make sure he's healthy. If he had a broken arm she would get it sorted she wouldn't just encourage him to use the other one Strikes me as a symptom of the ineffectual/nonexistant cooking and crazy ideas about food thats going on in society. There seem to be a group of people who genuinely don't have a clue what constitutes a healthy diet. Don't get me wrong I eat crap and junk, but not solely that (if you could live off Haribo I would believe me!) I don't know if its the media, the supermarkets, the food producers or who to blame. But something needs to be done or this will be commonplace. My sisters (both in their late 30s) went round Tesco together once and sister 1 was horrified at the amount of onions sister 2 was putting in her trolley, and all the other veg she bought. Sister 1 - "How on earth are you going to use all those in one week?" Sister 2 - "err, cooking?!" I know not everyone is a cook, not everyone enjoys it, but sister 1 rang me up to ask about how to do jacket potatoes.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nouggatti Posted February 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2007 I did wonder was it possible the child is suffering from Prada Willi Syndrome, but nothing indicates he's been tested for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mop Posted February 27, 2007 Report Share Posted February 27, 2007 Frying can be a healthy way to cook, it depends on how it is fried. If you use a non stick pan and don't put any fat into it, it can take out more fat than grilling. Eggs don't need to be fried in a lot of fat, they can be cooked in a non stick pan with just a spray of olive oil. I discovered one time that a friend of Mark's mother was giving Mark packets of crisps and sweets on the way home from school, this meant that he wasn't hungry and wouldn't eat. Personnally, I would say this child is eating for a reason and until that reason has been sorted he won't stop eating too much food. There are many reasons to cause this including bullying which is normal for an overweight person. There is no point in trying to stop something unless you can stop the cause. Yes, the mother is cooking for him, but how is she cooking the food, he may have lost the weight because she has changed the way she cooks, all it says is that he has lost weight, doesn't say anything about how he lost the weight. It is easy to say what we would do, but very different when we try to do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherlock Bones Posted February 27, 2007 Report Share Posted February 27, 2007 It is easy to say what we would do, but very different when we try to do it. I think that's a very true statement, with the media publicity none of us can see how they *actually* live or how they truly eat. However, I would like to think, if i had a child, that if what I was doing was potentially killing my child, i would do anything, literally anything, to prevent that. Wouldn't anyone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nouggatti Posted February 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 27, 2007 However, I would like to think, if i had a child, that if what I was doing was potentially killing my child, i would do anything, literally anything, to prevent that. Wouldn't anyone? Now that's an interesting point. Oh bought me this months Marie Claire as a surprise last week and they had an article in it about a 12/13 year old in the US who had liposuction to reduce her weight. The parents prior to the liposuction thought that they were doing everything they could to help their daughter, but post the operation became far more aware of how much their child had previously been snacking etc whilst preparing meals and whilst they didn't regret the liposuction, did admit that it forced them to look at their daughters lifestyle and eating habits than they had previously done with some success. That little girl has done very well and continued on a weight loss program and is now healthier etc. Perhaps there are shades of that in this case? The mum thought she was doing the best for her child? I agree with Mrs. Mop who says that the cause of the overeating if there is an underlying one, needs to be identified. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sillymooo Posted February 28, 2007 Report Share Posted February 28, 2007 imho i wonder if theres more to it than just what we see.... if the mother wasnt taught food values and how to cook herself, how can we suddenly expect that of her now? it wasnt til recently that we really started to take notice of salts and fats sneakily added to processed foods (God bless Jamie Oliver!) someone said that all his food must have been cooked by his mum, well i'm sure she is more than responsible for the junk food outside of meals he has been allowed, but he would've also been having meals at school. if they're cooked, arent they partly responsible? if he had packed lunch, then biscuits, choc etc arent allowed! i also think it points to the lack of exercise children have at home and in school. my daughter just turned 9 and she's not allowed to run in the play ground!! its a world gone mad tho for sure! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jemimap Posted February 28, 2007 Report Share Posted February 28, 2007 There was a 'tonight' programme on about this little boy which i sky plussed and watched last night. Hies mother suffers from depression so its his grandma who gets him up every morning etc. They did say they would do anything to help him but also said they would not under any circumstances lock the food away. Apparantly he is quite good at pinching all the crisps and eating handfuls of ham out of the fridge. I do think it is child abuse, most children, if given a choice would choose to live on crisps and sweets, she as his mother should ensure he is fed properly. His mother said she need help not advice and the advice she has been given - to feed him less and get him to exercise more isn't any help to her but if she was given a diet sheet to follow for him and an exercise plan then she would. I was suprised she hadn't been given this information already and i think she should of been but she is also capable of seeking this informaiton out herself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mop Posted February 28, 2007 Report Share Posted February 28, 2007 I was suprised she hadn't been given this information already and i think she should of been but she is also capable of seeking this informaiton out herself. I am surprised she hasn't been given this information already, it should be the first thing that happened. Trying to find information yourself can be a nightmare as I found out when trying to get information for my husband and I had the advantage of the internet, not everyone does. Modern society should also take some of the blame for children being overweight, how often do children play outside these days even when the weather is fit enough, they are normally inside watching the tv, gameboys, computers etc. Children can't even play in school playgrounds now and the games and gym in schools has been greatly reduced. We were expected to play out at school no matter what the weather was like, rain, snow etc, the only time that we were allowed to stay in was when it was foggy, but that was the other extreme, sitting in school with wet clothes because the rain had got through your coats wasn't good for anyone. Children need exercise to develop their bones and muscles, without these they could be building up problems for later in life. It is about getting the balance right and at the moment it is wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
collies r best Posted February 28, 2007 Report Share Posted February 28, 2007 I did wonder was it possible the child is suffering from Prada Willi Syndrome, but nothing indicates he's been tested for it. i wondered about that as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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