14 Stone 8 Year Old To Remain With Mum

[Kats inc]

I did wonder was it possible the child is suffering from Prada Willi Syndrome, but nothing indicates he's been tested for it.

 

 

As there was a nurse involved in the case conference (which the media have seemingly mis-reported as a court case consistently ) I expect all those kind of things will have been covered.I strongly suspect this child will have had a full medical as part of his assessment prior to the child protection case conference.The media have got this whole thing arse about face.I attend many case conferences which from the sound of what they were talking about on the news yesterday is what this meeting actually was.In it they would have put his name on the county's child protection register and it appears as part of the child protection plan that the family have been told to stop talking to the media or allowing the media to film/interview the child.Hoo-fecking-rah! They were guilty of almost as big as abuse as the relatives in my view.I was seething yesterday watching that poor child with a camera and microphone in his face,filming him eating.

 

Mother needs a swift kick for allowing this to happen,no doubt she's had many warnings of what will happen if she consistently ignores health advice.We can't force people to take health advice but we can do our damndest to make them act in the best interests of their children when possible.

 

Just don't believe all you read in the media or see on the TV.It is a far more complicated procedure than portrayed by them and one that has to be very carefully handled these day.

 

Sadly to the cost of the child due to red tape if I'm honest...most frustrating.

[JoC]

I think people are being too quick to judge the mother. She asked for help for years but didn't get it.

 

She obviously had questionable parenting skills, but nobody is born knowing how to be a parent, and as far as I can remember, a below average IQ isn't a hanging offence.

 

There are still huge inequalities between the affluent and the poor when it comes to health. That's a major problem in society, we can't pin all the blame on the parents for a cutlural phenomenon.

 

The boys mother was struggling, so she asked for help. What more could she have done? She recognised she wasn't equipped to deal with the situation that was emerging, so she asked professionals for advice not just on what a healthy diet was, but how to cope with his tantrums and demanding behaviour.

 

I think she and her son were let down by the authorities that refused to give her the support and advice she needed. Too quick to judge, too slow to help.

[Mrs Mop]

I think she and her son were let down by the authorities that refused to give her the support and advice she needed. Too quick to judge, too slow to help.

 

Unfortunately far too many people and children are being let down by the authorities but when things then go wrong, it is never the authorities fault. Been there, done that and worn the t-shirt for many years.

[fee4]

I think people are being too quick to judge the mother. She asked for help for years but didn't get it.

 

i dont think we actually know that.

 

but at what point do we stop blaming the authorities/society/nhs/police and give some responsibility to the family?

this was not her first child-i saw the older daughter being interviewed-the mother appears to have a reasonable job there....so one would think she has some level of parenting skills.

 

im not about apportioning blame-but responsibility

 

fiona

[eve]

this was not her first child-i saw the older daughter being interviewed-the mother appears to have a reasonable job there....so one would think she has some level of parenting skills.

 

im not about apportioning blame-but responsibility

 

fiona

 

In an interview on the radio with her last week she said that she and her daughter ate healthily and sensibly but that the boy's father (who doesn't live with them) has fed the boy junk food since he was two and wouldn't stop no matter what she said or did. I think, although the mother has to take responsibility for what her son eats, there is a bit more than just lazy parenting going on, on her behalf. If what she said is true, it sounds like the boy's father undermines everything she tries to do regarding his upbringing, and HE needs a good slap! I do think the boy needs some psychological help for emotional problems too.

[scotslass]

If this is the documentary I saw, the mother doesn't get up in the morning till her own mother gets her up; she was filmed smoking in bed while she surfaced. Granny then feeds the boy and gets him ready. I do think that a) they shouldn't keep junk food in the house and b) they should let him do things for himself. The mother is depressed and unable to cope; the grandmother seems to feel it's someone else's problem.

 

It was grotesque to see this huge child sitting on the sofa in front of the TV being handed great platefuls of junk, but that's TV documentaries for you. He isn't the only child in Britain to have this life-style, although he may be an extreme example.

 

Taking him away from his mother wouldn't help. A life in care would only add to his problems. I think we always have to remember that "the authorities" whoever they are, can't just wade in and sort out people's lives; this boy's situation is part of a larger problem for all children growing up in Britain today. Home cooking, for all kinds of reasons, is no longer the norm, and while children are spending their lives in front of screens eating junk food on their laps, nothing will change.

 

I fear that as a nation, we are becoming increasingly dependent on "expert" intervention. What happened to common sense, self-reliance and a sense of pride?

 

I have a friend (another Grumpy Old Woman ) who says that people don't understand the concept of shame any more - she may be right.

 

Liz.

[cycas]

Home cooking, for all kinds of reasons, is no longer the norm

 

If you'd had to eat my mum's home cooking growing up in the 70's you'd say that was a merciful release. My sister and I both learnt to cook at school, as a form of self-defense. I shall never forget her Salted Broccoli with Added Salt. Or what we came to refer to as the Deformed Cake incident...

[Fee]

If the mother suffers from depression then I suppose I can understand how this could have got out of control. Depression is a horrible illness which saps your energy and willpower. It would be all too easy for a depressed mum to avoid confrontations she hasn't got the strength to face by giving in all the time, and for an unhappy child to compensate for not receiving other sorts of attention by eating obsessively.

 

I hope they both get the help they need.

Edited March 1, 2007 by Fee

[cheryl33]

She asked for help for years, but still continued to stuff his mouth

 

I think its disgusting and he should be taken away into care. If it was the opposite and the kid was starving, they'd do it straight away?

[Mrs Mop]

If the mother suffers from depression then I suppose I can understand how this could have got out of control. Depression is a horrible illness which saps your energy and willpower. It would be all too easy for a depressed mum to avoid confrontations she hasn't got the strength to face by giving in all the time, and for an unhappy child to compensate for not receiving other sorts of attention by eating obsessively.

 

I hope they both get the help they need.

 

 

Maybe like me she has been both verbally and physically abused when she tried not to give in. I wonder how many that are condeming her would stand up to this sort of treatment. It was extremely hard going at times especially when food was given behind my back and my children was told a lot of lies about me as well as other members of her family.

 

Maybe the constant battles with her son as well as having to deal with interfering busy bodies is partly the cause of her depression.

[Jemimap]

If this is the documentary I saw, the mother doesn't get up in the morning till her own mother gets her up; she was filmed smoking in bed while she surfaced. Granny then feeds the boy and gets him ready. I do think that a) they shouldn't keep junk food in the house and b) they should let him do things for himself. The mother is depressed and unable to cope; the grandmother seems to feel it's someone else's problem.

 

It was grotesque to see this huge child sitting on the sofa in front of the TV being handed great platefuls of junk, but that's TV documentaries for you. He isn't the only child in Britain to have this life-style, although he may be an extreme example.

 

Taking him away from his mother wouldn't help. A life in care would only add to his problems. I think we always have to remember that "the authorities" whoever they are, can't just wade in and sort out people's lives; this boy's situation is part of a larger problem for all children growing up in Britain today. Home cooking, for all kinds of reasons, is no longer the norm, and while children are spending their lives in front of screens eating junk food on their laps, nothing will change.

 

I fear that as a nation, we are becoming increasingly dependent on "expert" intervention. What happened to common sense, self-reliance and a sense of pride?

 

I have a friend (another Grumpy Old Woman ) who says that people don't understand the concept of shame any more - she may be right.

 

Liz.

 

That's the programme i saw!

 

i think your friend is right about the shame too

[Kats inc]

Maybe the constant battles with her son as well as having to deal with interfering busy bodies is partly the cause of her depression.

 

In one post you say people should have helped her earlier and in this you say they are interfering busybodies.Which is it?

 

As a professional working with this kind of family I know both sides of the coin.I can't judge which side this woman is as I've not met her.She may be one side,the uncaring,can't be bothered,doesn't listen to advice,blame everybody but herself kind of parent.She may be the other,truly frustrated by the child/lack of support etc.

From experience I know it rarely gets to the stage of a child protection case conference without all angles and all support being offered.I also know they don't remove children into local authority care without good reason mainly due to lack of fosterers and lack of money.

 

I would strongly suspect the professionals in this case may feel they have been banging their heads against a brickwall but that is only a guess based on my experience of how hard it is to actually get a child case conferenced these days.I don't know the case,the parent or the child so anything I say is purely guesswork and individual judgement.

[Mrs Mop]

In one post you say people should have helped her earlier and in this you say they are interfering busybodies.Which is it?

 

 

You missed this part of my post out and it doesn't mention any of the authorities, and yes, these are interferring busybodies.

 

 

Maybe like me she has been both verbally and physically abused when she tried not to give in. I wonder how many that are condeming her would stand up to this sort of treatment. It was extremely hard going at times especially when food was given behind my back and my children was told a lot of lies about me as well as other members of her family.

[Kats inc]

You have every right to be unhappy with the treatment you received and I'm sorry you experienced this but please don't write the remainder of us off as being the same.It is a tad unfair.

 

From our viewpoint it often seems that if we leave things alone we are uncaring and don't bother and leave children to be neglected.If we get involved we are interfering busybodies who meddle in family business.It seems we can never win.

 

In this case this child will suffer significant long term health problems if left in this situation.It needs to be sorted and quickly,whatever that takes.He will end up dead by 30 if not.

[Mrs Mop]

I don't have any experience of the authorities and children, I have a lot with the treatment we got when I was trying to get help for myself and my husband, I was bullied, intimindated and lied to but thankfully, he was put in his place. Many times I could have given in until I looked at my husband but knew I couldn't.

 

I don't have an argument with you Kats inc, but I do have experience of idiots who are not capable of doing their job properly. There are some good ones, thankfully we got one after our experience with this fella, but it came too late for us.