agilitymad Posted May 20, 2008 Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 I'm sitting here crying i feel so alone i have no so called friends and could do with talking to someone. I'm such a failier I have done nothing with my life and regrete so many things. I don't have a job and my boyfriend of 8yrs is getting fed up with me and to be honest i'm not happy in the relationship anymore we don't live with each other as he still lives at home with his mum and dad i'm trying to get a job but i'm struggling as i don't know what to do and feel guilty for spunging of the state. everytime i get a job something happens in my life that stops it last time it was a car accident and my boss being differcult about having lots of time off I know suffer with a bad back and can't stand for long periods of time and can't lift i would love to be a dog groomer but can't because of my back. I know to some people it might sould like i'm feeling sorry for my self and i am but just need someone to talk to Think have got really bad and i just don't know how to get myself out of a rut Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Rotties Posted May 20, 2008 Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 (edited) I hope you feel with friends here, many have been through what you are going through at the moment, and emerged at the other side of it to edit to add to you have msn? Edited May 20, 2008 by Red Rotties Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudi Posted May 20, 2008 Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 Not sure I have any words of wisdom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparkle Posted May 20, 2008 Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 I am sure there are lots of positive things you have done with your life, sometimes you just need to look a little harder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nettie Posted May 20, 2008 Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 How about looking at the situation from a different point of view. Make a list of all the positives in your life, no matter how big or small. Then make a list of the negatives and remedy one thing at a time rather than everything all at once. As soon as you've remedied something negative, tick in off and move on to the next thing, no matter how large or small. You will find the achievement in tackling one problem will make you feel more positive towards tackling the next one. Just remember one thing at a time. Lots of luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cycas Posted May 20, 2008 Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 I am sure there are lots of positive things you have done with your life, sometimes you just need to look a little harder a) what she just said and also b) everything you posted sounded like such bad luck! Bad luck doesn't go on forever, and just because you had it in the past doesn't mean you can't leave it behind and move on to something new. I know you are feeling a bit doomed right now, but maybe looking forward is the way to go? I am wishing you a huge big pile of good luck for the future and I know lots of other people will be too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rufus the wonderdog Posted May 20, 2008 Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 How about looking at the situation from a different point of view. Make a list of all the positives in your life, no matter how big or small. Then make a list of the negatives and remedy one thing at a time rather than everything all at once. As soon as you've remedied something negative, tick in off and move on to the next thing, no matter how large or small. You will find the achievement in tackling one problem will make you feel more positive towards tackling the next one. Just remember one thing at a time. Lots of luck. I have to agree with Nettie - this way of coping with things has worked for me in the past. If you just look at everything at once it can look totally overwhelming and just make you feel even worse. Tackle just one issue at a time, deal with it and tick it off as done - makes you feel really good to be achieving something positive, however small. In the meantime have a Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnS Posted May 20, 2008 Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 How about working, even on a temp basis for the summer in a kennels or cattery, lots advertise for staff for the summer and it may lead to something. Could you set yourself up as a dog sitter/walker? If you are getting job seekers or whatever, make an appointment with an adviser and make them help you, that's their job. Or some voluntary work which would give you some experience in something different. Lists are a really good idea as it's often easier to see the good things when they are written down, make a list of your talents, bet there's loads of things you are good at that you just take for granted. Good luck AnnS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lazydaisy Posted May 20, 2008 Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 As well as all the good advice already given to you - dont feel as if you are sponging off the state. You are just using up the money you have contributed whilst working. Some people have no intention of ever getting a job, they are the spongers not you. I am unemployed as I cant get a teaching job in my area and I dont want to move because of my kids. I am now looking for different types of work. The one thing at a time and lists have been very helpful for me when I have felt down. Dont give up on yourself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacobean Posted May 20, 2008 Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 You're not a failure. You've been very helpful to Oldies Club. It's very easy to find yourself retreating into a shell, feeling set apart from the rest of the world and getting down when you are stuck indoors all the time. Suddenly every part of your life looks bleak and you can't see a way out. You will come out the other side of this absolutely fine though. What kinds of jobs have you had in the past. Could you work part time and support yourself or do you need to work full time? It's a set of circumstances that have got you where you are right now. Chip away at one thing at a time and you'll get through this just fine. Have you got any hobbies that don't cost a lot? I'm wondering if there is any voluntary work in your area where you could help for an hour at a time maybe. It will get you out and speaking to people and give you a good feeling that you are useful etc. If you tell us what you normally do work wise we may be able to come up with ideas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greys mum Posted May 20, 2008 Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 to you. My first feeling on reading your post, is that you sound depressed.Go see your GP and see if that is the case. Having someone to talk to, even if it is on a forum, is often easier than face to face. Offload whenever you want/need. If it helps. Have some more . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimthecat Posted May 20, 2008 Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 Sorry you feel so down. Ali Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JACKYSIAN Posted May 20, 2008 Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 You're not a failure. You've been very helpful to Oldies Club. That in itself is something to be damn proud of. I admit I'm in a similar fog at the moment and completely understand how you feel, I do think you should go and see your gp and see if there is anything they can offer to help you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ranirottie Posted May 20, 2008 Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 when you are down and depressed everything seems and feels far worse than it actually is. Try to do something that brings you pleasure, have some me time and try to take one step at a time. A lot of people have suffered with depression so you have a lot of sympathy. Don't be too hard on yourself, it takes time to come up again. BIG <<<HUG>>> from me xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spins4me Posted May 20, 2008 Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 I'm wondering if there is any voluntary work in your area where you could help for an hour at a time maybe. It will get you out and speaking to people and give you a good feeling that you are useful etc. Volunteering is a good way to get out and will make you feel more positive about yourself. I know of someone who volunteered at the local hospital and was then taken on as bank staff so could work part time when it suited her. I really feel for you, depression is awful and I admire you for speaking up and saying that you feel bad. Have a or two Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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