Update On Shannon Matthews

[redditchlady]

I've moved this into contro as it will undoubtedly prove to be so! Please remember the rules of this forum:

 

Keep it civil and refrain from getting personal. Personal attack will NOT be tolerated. Threads that get too personal will simply be binned.

 

Totally understand why you moved this.

 

Kathy was only putting across her point of view. If you re-read it says in her opinion. These days I think we all need to take on board that anyone whether it be a man or woman is capable of anything.

 

Those of us with children need to make a note of this case and others. Just my random thoughts.

 

 

Long gone are the days when kiddies could play down the local park/fields etc alone.

 

It is a sorry shame how life changes over the years.

 

Kazz xx

[yena]

Long gone are the days when kiddies could play down the local park/fields etc alone.

It is a sorry shame how life changes over the years.

 

I totally agree with you, I certainly wouldn't like to be bringing children up in this day and age.

[mooandboo]

Long gone are the days when kiddies could play down the local park/fields etc alone.

 

It is a sorry shame how life changes over the years.

 

Kazz xx

My Dad saved his sister from a paedophile who took her down to a secluded railway embankment and offered her ration coupons to do what he wanted - my Dad followed them luckily and threw a brick at him. He'd originally been trying to find a deaf and dumb girl ( ) and had asked my aunt to help him look for her.

 

That was over 60 years ago so I don't really think life has changed except that through the media we're much more aware.

[Mrs Mop]

Those of us with children need to make a note of this case and others. Just my random thoughts.

 

 

Long gone are the days when kiddies could play down the local park/fields etc alone.

 

It is a sorry shame how life changes over the years.

 

 

Life has only changed because we allowed it to, most children in this situation know the person who does it, they are family members or friends of the family. There are exceptions, there always are.

 

I know of one family who had 6 children, 2 girls and 4 boys, they also had a very good friend who would offer to babysit so the parents could go out. It was the boys he was interested in and the parents have never forgiven themselves, they think it was there fault. The children have all had help and are seem to be fine now. Another it was the father, he would give his wife the money to go to the bingo for a night off.

 

We were taught not to talk to stangers but who is a stranger? To a child the milkman, postman etc are not strangers but to adults they are.

 

When I was growing up I was more aware of danger than children are today because I was allowed the freedom to find out what it was and how to cope myself. We were always in small gangs and not on our own, there is safety in numbers. You don't see children playing the same now, they are usually watching the tv or on their computers.

 

The media has a lot to answer for, they have made parents frightened to let their children play like they used to because of the way they report, they make it out as far more of a problem than it it. It is the same with the housing market, houses are selling although slowly but the media has been shouting about a recession in housing and have caused it to be as bad as it seems.

[Jacobean]

I don't think it is more prevalent these days unfortunately.

 

I remember children being abduced from my junior and secondary school back in the 70's and early eighties. I remember being told not to go play in the woods with my friends as usual because of some incidents.

 

I think we talk about things these days and things are reported more than in the past. Look at the news we keep hearing from Jersey at the moment. That one has been going on for decades.

[phoebejo]

My eldest two, aged nine and almost eleven do play outside unsupervised, go to the park, visit friends houses and go to the shops. I can't keep them wrapped in cotton wool forever and they do need to learn certain life skills. They are sensible, I trust them implicitly, they know the rules and they abide by them. They know not to go anywhere with strangers and not to keep secrets about ANYONE. I don't believe things are any worse than they were years ago. If anything we're more careful which can only be a good thing.

[blackmagic]

.

 

We were taught not to talk to stangers but who is a stranger? To a child the milkman, postman etc are not strangers but to adults they are.

 

 

 

My son, at 15 years old, used to get the bus to the next village 5 miles away to go swimming on Friday night.

 

One night it had been heavy rain and I asked if he had got soaked getting there. He replied no, that he had got a lift. When I asked who from he replied 'I don't know.'

 

He then explained that there had been another person waiting for the bus, the butcher in the local supermarket - so a known face - and they had been chatting at the bus stop. Someone that the butcher knew stopped their car and offered him a lift. The butcher had then asked if my son could have a lift as well, and in he got.

 

When I pointed out to him that the butcher was a STRANGER his mouth fell open.

 

Even at 15 years old, an age when you would think that they would have more sense, he did not appreciate the position until it was pointed out to him.

[Kathyw]

Holly and Jessica knew the person who took their lives - someone they would have trusted.

 

Montel Williams did a show where children who had be warned/told never to go with strangers no matter what and they filmed the children in a playground.

Without exception every child was able to be enticed away with the promise of ice cream/puppy dogs and video games depending on the age of the child.

 

When the children were brought back to their parents - they parents just made a fuss of their child - no telling off - the child didn't learn anything - well maybe go off with a stranger and you get ice cream from Mum and Dad when the stranger brings you back.

 

I was told graphically what my Dad would do to me if I ever went off with anyone who was not family.

I know that many times it is family but in ours the risk to their own life would have been too great had they been the type to mess with children.

 

Children spec small children do not see a puppy as a danger - they don't 'see' the man they just see the puppy.

 

On the same show a convicted child killer told how easy it was.

In a supermarket he 'chose' a child and while walking down the aisles he played peek a boo with the child. The child is now watching for him as it's a game - Mum is totally unaware. Within a few minutes he starts to get closer but lout of Mum's sight. When Mum is distracted (usually the freezer dept) he beckons the child, gets the child and is gone. And he said that by the time the police had arrived at the supermarket - the child was already dead - that's how quick and how easy it was.

 

We also played outside but I had boundaries. we were always in a group and we were never allowed to go into other peoples houses.

 

One story that haunts me was a woman whose little daughter kept telling her Mum that uncle whoever kept 'teasing' her. Her Mum said all uncles tease little girls and it would stop when she grew up.

Months later the Mum took the little girl to the doctors because she has continuous sore throats, after many tests the result came back the child had ghonnahrea of the throat - the uncle had been putting his thing in this tiny childs mouth.

The little girl used the word 'teasing' because she had no other words - the doctor writing this article said 'Get your child to explain what they mean by certain words as a child cannot always verbalise actions.

 

I was haunted by that child and what she must have thought when her Mum told her basically it would go on for years.

[jacqui d]

There are people, men and women, who fall in love with each other and accept the "extras" that come with that relationship, including step children, illness, debts, ex partners and the like, love's like that.

 

There are people, men and women, who prey on the vunerable and enter relationships for the worst reasons.

 

There are those, men and women, to whom age is nothing but a number.

 

There are those who dont know their way around computers and couldnt find a hidden file or look at their temporary internet files if you paid them to try, so wouldnt have a clue what anyone other than themselves had looked at on their shared PC.

 

Shannon is now safe, I've no doubt, in time, some of the history will emerge in truth, some will be shown wrongly by the press and ultimately, we will never know the whole story, but Shannon is safe, for me, for now, in this sad case, thats all that matters

[Kats inc]

Shannon is now safe, I've no doubt, in time, some of the history will emerge in truth, some will be shown wrongly by the press and ultimately, we will never know the whole story, but Shannon is safe, for me, for now, in this sad case, thats all that matters

 

I agree and think it's a shame that this little girl's growing up is now going to be completely tainted as everyone in the country knows the ins and outs of her life and possibly know too much thanks to the media.Why can't they afford her some privacy Why is newsworthiness and making money more valuable than a little girls innocence and right to protection?

[JessandCos]

One of my jobs being an IT manager/consultant was to look for these files that everyday people thought and believed could not be found.

 

One instance involved a director of long standing within one company. Files were found, his laptop confiscated, directors informed etc and the police were involved. This was a man early fifties, with a family and previously good reputation etc etc. It was an awful side to my job,but since then I have made everyone aware, just because you can't find these files - any IT professional can and so can the police as well.

 

Dangers do lurk and yes invariably with "trusted" members of the family - it is a very sad story all round and I hope that Shannon will be getting all the help and support she needs over the next few years of her life and beyond.

[Shazzy]

I have never understood why a bloke chooses to live with a women older than himself who has children by another man.

 

I have always found something suspect in that.

 

Does he need mothering?

 

Does he want easy access to children?

 

A few of my friends divorced their oh's and each one had plenty of offers from 'younger' men' but each of them saw the dangers and questioned why would 'he' want to look after someone elses kids?

 

Shannon didn't like her stepfather and wanted to live with her Dad - perhaps instinctively Shannon picked up that something wasn't right, perhaps he had made gestures that made her feel uncomfortable without her understanding why.

 

It's a mother's responsibility to protect her children way way above any desires she may have for herself.

 

I know that this is your opinion - but I do find it quite harsh.

 

I met my OH when he was 22 and I was 34 - I had 3 children 9 11 and 12. We have been together for 12 years - longer than their father ever stuck around and to them OH is their father. He has supported us and cared for us since the day we met and I have never once ever considered or thought he could be a danger.

 

I personally cant understand why your friends would suspect "younger men" to be a danger to their children. My OH certainly isnt mothered as much as any man isnt mothered and there are many men out there who are quite happy to take on someone else's kids, in the same way that many women (usually a lot younger) take on the mans kids.

 

I personally think that if the mother is one who introduces various "uncles" into the family or has as many children b y the same amount of fathers would be of questionable morals anyway. That is my opinion.

 

In the case of Shannon not being returned to her mother the moment she was found set warning bells off for me straight away and not just because of the tabloids and their stories. No child, unless she is in danger again would be kept this long away from her natural mother.

 

Who is to say that the computer is the step father's and not the mothers - it was computer used in the household from what I was to understand.

[wickychoo]

The media has a lot to answer for, they have made parents frightened to let their children play like they used to because of the way they report, they make it out as far more of a problem than it it. It is the same with the housing market, houses are selling although slowly but the media has been shouting about a recession in housing and have caused it to be as bad as it seems.

I don't think it is more prevalent these days unfortunately.

I don't believe things are any worse than they were years ago. If anything we're more careful which can only be a good thing.

 

I'm not a parent, so I can only speculate about stuff, but I agree with the ladies above, I don't think its more prevalent its just we're more aware of it because if the media.

 

I used to be allowed to play out (late 80s early 90s) but there would always be a few of us from neighbouring houses playing together. When I was bigger we were allowed to go a bit further and we used to spend afternoons climbing on the castle walls and exploring the area around where we lived. We were always told about strangers and not to talk to them, and I do think its easier to do that if there are a few of you, it seems less rude somehow (we were brought up not to be rude to our elders so it was almost a catch 22 situation).

Even now the familes that live in the houses opposite me have kids who play out, they make chalk hopscotch thingys on the path and made a lovely happy easter chalk drawing a few weeks ago. Its one of the reasons I love where we live so much, if its not perishing cold the kids are out playing or doing homework outside

[merledogs]

Linky to article. They have now arrested her stepfather's sister and mother.

 

There's obviously a lot more to the Shannon Matthews case than meets the eye

Edited April 4, 2008 by madmerle

[Kathyw]

Wonder if the whole story will ever come out and will Shannon ever go back to her mother?