Katiebob Posted November 19, 2007 Report Share Posted November 19, 2007 I know some people will feel I may have let down my current foster collie, Ben, by rehoming him. In many ways I'd agree with them. I'm also aware that I mentioned I wanted to breed my own litter and that was one of the reasons I'd let him go so that wouldn't exactly help my cause, and fair comment for that, but I let him go because I truly wasn't the right home and he needed to live with fewer dogs and more individual attention. He was, however, one of the most fantastic dogs I've ever fostered. He'd come second to Cabbagepatch's Monty (who I also wanted to keep and let go for the same reason) in terms of 'Best foster dog'. So, my question is, do you let your dream foster dog go to a new home if your home isn't right for him/her - or do you keep him and indulge your dream? Actually, put like that, it's an easy decision butwhat I'm trying to say is, do you adjust your lifestyle so much that your foster dog can be integrated, with maybe quite a big issue for your existing set up, or let them go to somewhere easier for them and you? I don't mind whatever is written in response because I know I did the right thing by every foster I've rehomed (and I'll still choose where I get my next pet - breeder or rescue) but I'm sure most of us who have fostered have questioned our decisions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirtychicken Posted November 19, 2007 Report Share Posted November 19, 2007 Whenever I have a foster in I spend the first few days thinking "are they right for us?" and inevitably I can visualise them in their perfect situation, which is almost always not our's. There's only ever been one foster that I nearly didn't let go and had actually decided that he would only go if The Perfect Home showed up. They did and he is now spoiled rotten. I would much rather not be Good Enough if Perfect is on offer for them The only foster I've failed on is Flora and I had actually decided to take her on as a foster when I first met her at the Barn and then 15 minutes later decided that there was no way she'd go up for rehoming Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Posted November 19, 2007 Report Share Posted November 19, 2007 (edited) I think the hardest part of fostering would definitely have to be letting them go again. That said whilst I can't specifically comment on Ben because anything about him or you in more general terms I'd say if you are sure that your's isn't the right home then yes you should let the dog go to a home that is right for him / her. As for the breeding whilst I've never bred myself and I realise some are vehemently against it personally I think there are good & bad in all walks of life & I see those that dump dogs as the problem rather then the breeders who will in my opinion only breed what they can sell. If there were no breeding then eventually there'd be no dogs - something I'm sure none of us would want. As long as you are comfortable with your decision and should you breed in future do it responsibly then personally I don't think you should feel the need to justify yourself to anyone else here on either of your concerns. Edited November 19, 2007 by Ian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jax39 Posted November 19, 2007 Report Share Posted November 19, 2007 I have actually let my perfect foster go today, and Im in bits. My home would have been perfect I feel. Reason was Id already committed to another foster, who arrived today, and didnt think I could cope with 3 at the same time. Wrong timing I guess, or at least thats what Im telling myself right now. My other fosters Ive felt I wasnt the right home, and although sad to see them go, I felt they were going on to a better life. Its a tough one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katiebob Posted November 19, 2007 Author Report Share Posted November 19, 2007 I think the hardest part of fostering would definitely have to be letting them go again. That said whilst I can't specifically comment on Ben because anything about him or you in more general terms I'd say if you are sure that your's isn't the right home then yes you should let the dog go to a home that is right for him / her. As for the breeding whilst I've never bred myself and I realise some are vehemently against it personally I think there are good & bad in all walks of life & I see those that dump dogs as the problem rather then the breeders who will in my opinion only breed what they can sell. If there were no breeding then eventually there'd be no dogs - something I'm sure none of us would want. As long as you are comfortable with your decision and should you breed in future do it responsibly then personally I don't think you should feel the need to justify yourself to anyone else here on either of your concerns. Sorry Ian, I really didn't intend this to be a breeding/not breeding post at all. Obviously I didn't express myself very well. Nor truly, did I mean it to be about me and Ben. I did what was right - I know I did and I cried when Ben went even though it was to the best home I'd ever find for him. What I was trying to explain (badly) was that I (particularly) could find it very easy to be selfish for myself rather than the dogs in this situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owl Posted November 19, 2007 Report Share Posted November 19, 2007 I let my perfect foster go, even though she would have integrated very well with the dogs I had at the time. She was an amazing collie/goldie/shepherd mix with the best qualities of each. It broke my heart and I kept wondering if I had done the right thing, but I knew that she would just be one of 3 with me where she could be someone else's soul dog. She went on to be not only a soul dog but a self-taught guide dog and transformed the life of a rather lonely man. I did really miss that one for a long time. She was one in a million. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alison Posted November 19, 2007 Report Share Posted November 19, 2007 Just looked at the thread title and am deliberately not reading anyone elses' posts to ensure that this is a completely unbiased view and condemns nobody for having an alternative one. My own experience of fostering began as an entirely selfish one; I'd (literally just) nursed my own 2 dear friends of 15 years through their final illnesses. Two days without a dog by my side were 2 days too many but I just couldn't commit to having another so soon for so many reasons, the feeling of "betraying" them or belittling their memories being just a couple. I say selfish but it wasn't really - in reality it was very symbiotic; I had that much missed canine presence in my life and my fosters were living in a happy, comfortable (normal ) home environment. Plus each of them found loving permanent homes a lot more quickly than they would have done if they'd not spent time with me and I really do know that to be true. Dogs that had been overlooked for 9 months found new owners within weeks of living with me (5 weeks was the longest). An assessment from the perspective of a dog living alongside one as a pet works wonders in terms of publicity. Long and boring story, but fostering found me and I regarded it as my job (which was, of course, an utter pleasure) to love and care for those dogs every bit as much as I did my own, to give them a break from living in kennels, accord them time, love and affection in a home environment, socialise with people and other dogs, toilet train - train in general as appropriate - and provide an honest assessment of each of them in order to help them find the right permanent home. One thing always uppermost in my mind has been to ensure that those dogs would never bounce back into rescue. Cat chaser? Kiddie hater? Bummer, as it limits the possibilities, but far better to say so. I wasn't hard hearted at all. How much easier my life would be were I not such a softie! I didn't find it hard to let any of them go though, as I knew that between us, Clazuk & me had found the exact right homes - perfect matches, every one. I still see each of "my" fosters and their owners at least once a month and am always on call should they have any questions, would always take those boys and girls back into my own home for whatever duration should the owners fall ill or have a crisis of some kind. Essentially though, I've regarded fostering as a "job" (despite the fact that it's been an absolute joy), that job being to honestly assess then ruthlessly/shamelessly promote. I've got a couple of friends who were looking for a 2nd dog and used fostering as a way to test drive for compatibility/suitability. Just as an example, Lester (who now belongs to Leicslass) was one who was fostered by someone else and it didn't work out. Was Lester unsettled or traumatised by the experience? Not one bit. He was desperately unsuited to kennel life and being in a home temporarily not only did him the world of good but helped him find his permanent home. His fostering experience highlighed the fact that he suffered from separation anxiety and he found his "forever" home with Leicslass where this isn't an issue. As for Sol, I feel terribly guilty that he was my "failure"; he genuinely could've been happily rehomed anywhere - he's the easiest dog on earth. I've got the time, patience, circumstances (wish I could say skill ) for a problem dog which is really what I should've done. Fate decreed that although I was in denial about ever wanting another dog, I was ready for one when he returned to me for fostering - 3rd time, I think? That (and the fact that he happens to like PR work - aka showing off ) is why I do use him as an ambassador for other dogs still looking for their own "forever" homes. I may have been wrong in taking such a perfect and eminiently rehomable lad for myself, but there is a payback element to it for both of us and we acknowledge that. The thread title: "Should You Keep A Foster?" I'd say "yes"", if you know it's the right thing to do and "no" if you feel that it isn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherlock Bones Posted November 19, 2007 Report Share Posted November 19, 2007 Sarah Wiccs has my perfect foster dog. Brynn (as he was then) broke my heart when he left and I thought he'd got the perfect home.... turns out it wasn't so perfect but as luck would have it Sarah thought he was pretty perfect too and now he lives with her permanently. Had he have come back here instead of to her when he was returned, I doubt that he'd have left me (don't tell her!). I do have Lucy the returned foster cat too. She fitted in from day one and was the only cat my bridge baby Smirnoff ever got on with. When she was returned, Smirnoff was very sick with cancer and when she died i thought why the hell not, no-one else would put up with Lucy's horrible disgusting revolting habits and Smirnoff didn't seem to mind sharing me with her. So she stayed. I suspect a one to one home with nothing that upsets her and causes her disgusting habits would suit Lucy to the ground - but she fits in here like a glove... so she stays Cassie quite simply wasn't ever going to leave me once she was fostered. We bonded from day one despite my protestations and I certainly wasn't the perfect home... but she was my new soul dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSDFan Posted November 19, 2007 Report Share Posted November 19, 2007 I think to be honest it depends. In an ideal world every dog would be in it's perfect home. It's not an ideal world though and if for some reason a foster dog almost 'fits' in the foster home and a better home can't be found then I think the not quite perfect home sometimes has to do. Over the last 15 years I've had a fair few dogs temporarily in my care. Some I've been quite glad to see the back of and some I've cried buckets over I've only ever had one foster dog that stayed and that was Bruin. I was absolutely not the perfect home for him. Ideally he needed someone who could give him much more one to one attention than I could. He had/has no real problems apart from a desperate need to be loved and the fact that he must have been with someone once who spoilt him rotten. He has a bucket load of allergies as well but temperamentally that doesn't affect him. Permanently keeping a male also made additional problems for me as Lasso does not tolerate other males at all so provision had to be made for that. So, I wasn't the perfect home, but he adored me and stuck to me like a leech within a few days, I also for some reason fell head over heels in love with him. He was up for re-homing but no one wanted him So he stayed and although I'm still not the perfect home he is a very happy dog. There have been a couple more that I could have kept and really wanted to keep but in the end I gritted my teeth and off they went. I think it would be incredibly easy to be 'selfish' and keep a foster dog for your own sake and I'm sure many people do. I'm sure Di made the right decision when Ben went to his new home, but knowing Di I'm equally sure she would have made sure he was happy if he had stayed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EGAR Posted November 19, 2007 Report Share Posted November 19, 2007 (edited) As a rescue I have met MANY perfect dogs who would have fitted in well with my pack and who I would have loved to keep. BUT my goal is to get homes for these dogs and although they have a place here - it is not their home. I do not want to become a collector. I think the important thing is to get dogs into good homes and if that is done then: task accomplished . Sarah Edited November 19, 2007 by EGAR Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotslass Posted November 19, 2007 Report Share Posted November 19, 2007 As a rescue I have met MANY perfect dogs who would have fitted in well with my pack and who I would have loved to keep. BUT my goal is to get homes for these dogs and although they have a place here - it is not their home. I do not want to become a collector. I think the important thing is to get dogs into good homes and if that is done then: task accomplished . Sarah Your post reminded me of a man I once knew. I fostered for a cat charity at the time, and he was in charge of fostering/adoption. It was nigh on impossible to get him to pass anyone on home check - it was a rural area but he always found a minor road or something to exclude would-be adopters. He admitted to over 30 cats on his own property, so goodness knows how many there really were - and no-one was allowed to visit. Eventually, he was reported, but meanwhile, all those cats and kittens had missed out on a family of their own because of his belief that no-one else was quite good enough to look after them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elricc Posted November 20, 2007 Report Share Posted November 20, 2007 I know a dog rescue like that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merledogs Posted November 20, 2007 Report Share Posted November 20, 2007 do you adjust your lifestyle so much that your foster dog can be integrated, with maybe quite a big issue for your existing set up, or let them go to somewhere easier for them and you? I'd let them go to their new and more suitable home You have to do what is best for ALL your animals and changing a setup they are comfortable with just to make a square peg fit in a round hole is completely the wrong way to go about it IMO. This applies not only to foster dogs but to dogs I have taken on with a view to keeping them (didn't foster them first) - once it became clear they were not fitting in and it was upsetting to both them and the other dogs, they went back. It was extremely upsetting but long term they could not have stayed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ingrid Posted November 20, 2007 Report Share Posted November 20, 2007 Fostering to me is a very important part of a dogs future. Most don't show their true character in kennels and fostering is a great way to assess them for future rehoming. With dogs I have fostered in the past I have managed to keep detached, veiw them as temporary lodgers, with one exception and That was Monty nthe GSP who had major problems and I just knew rehoming would not be an easy option Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted November 20, 2007 Report Share Posted November 20, 2007 I have recently let a foster dog go. He was a 18 month old border collie I ws so tempted to keep him and I feel I could have given him a good life however I met his new owner and she was talking about flyball etc which I would never have the time to take him to so I decided it was best to let him go, It broke my heart but I feel I done the best thing in rehoming him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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