Tisaann Posted April 6, 2011 Report Share Posted April 6, 2011 (edited) The more you can't be arsed to pussy foot around people and so start saying what you think? In the last year or so I have started to tell people what I really think rather than saying what they would like to hear and as a consequence have lost friends along the way. I'm never nasty in what I say but no longer will I pander and as a result my popularity has declined at an alarming rate. At the moment I am not too bothered by it as where I live now is not my 'forever' home and at some point in the next few years I will move to where I will put deep roots down and when I get there I know that I am once again going to have to change track and be nice again as otherwise looking (hopefully) into the very distant future when I die there might only be hubby, son and daughter and that won't look very good on my C.V to get access into the 'pearly gates'. The reason this has come up is because tonight I spoke to my daughter and have now upset her by saying that one of her friends was a 'user' and she shouldn't keep putting up with it to which my daughter who has in the past said the very same thing, took umbrage and got annoyed and so I ended the call by saying 'ta ra I'm off to go in the bath' Blimey, I'm only 50 now so what on earth am I going to be like in the years to come Edited April 6, 2011 by Tisaann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trallwm farm Posted April 6, 2011 Report Share Posted April 6, 2011 Ive always been like it so it doesnt bode well. Having said that theres nothing wrong with the truth. If your daughter being used by someone is likely to affect you even by having to mop tears then you have a right to head it off at the pass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K9Fran Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 Turning 50 flipped a switch in me too - I wasn't going to be pushed around by anyone any more, so maybe there's something in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murtle Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 Oh dear, if it doesn't bode well at 50...I'm 34...it might explain a few things...well quite a few things actually . I have the added bonus in that what I don't say in words, comes out in my tone and facial expressions. I'm not overly fussed by it, but it's a shame I don't meet many like minded people Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 Sometimes an expression can be worth a thousand words. I agree, the older I get the more outspoken and contentious I become. I'll be damned if I can't voice my opinion if it's going to upset someone's fragile ego. I found out that by bowing to everyone else you do yourself far more harm than good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzeanna Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 Having been brought up by a very "do things my way or else" type Mother (my dad died when I was six), I must confess I always used to keep quiet even if I disagreed about things, but not any more! I say what I think now, and if people don't like it, they can lump it (or stick it where the sun doesn't shine!). My OH is younger than me but I think my attitude is starting to rub off on him...we'll have to be rechristened Victor and Victoria Meldrew Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulesB Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 Oh, a thread after my own heart. I read something once about how as women get older and their hormones change they get less caring and nurturing, and more direct about what suits them and what doesn't. I've always been a bit of a polite people-pleaser, but since I hit 50 - not any more I tell ya I would never want to hurt anyone's feelings of course but I do a lot less pussy-footing about and much more getting up on my back legs and speaking the truth, rather than what I think someone wants me to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tisaann Posted April 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 Oh fugees, I am so blessed that there are like minded people on here so I know that I don't have to mind my P's & Q's. Here, have a on me. Maybe we should have a changeable Meldrew Moan post and the see who gets the miserablist (new word not in the dictionary) throughout the year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greys mum Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 Oh heavens................. i am listening to myself talk!!!! I often am sent to the grumpy old womans corner. Seems it is quite a squeeze in there!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zico's mum Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 Sounds like I'm in good company I too can't be bothered pussy footing around and telling people what they want to hear now,I'm not rude but if I don't want to continue a conversation I come straight out and say so.Another thing I won't do any longer is accept invitations to something I'm not the slightest bit interested in - in the past I'd have lied through my teeth with some reason I couldn't attend or even worse gone along and been bored rigid for a few hours Now I just say no thank you and that's it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Posted April 8, 2011 Report Share Posted April 8, 2011 (edited) Whilst older people are sometimes cantankerous I'm not sure whether it's really age related or just an evolving personality / lack of patience with ever growing numbers of "idiots" eg those armed with procedure manuals, senior coppers who can afford spin doctors but not coppers (in our area now), politicians who can bail out banks & "half the worlds" debt but do little / nothing for our own people in need, those who seemingly don't realise it's wrong not just an admin. error to defarud us etc Edited April 8, 2011 by Ian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spins4me Posted April 8, 2011 Report Share Posted April 8, 2011 Oh heavens................. i am listening to myself talk!!!! I often am sent to the grumpy old womans corner. Seems it is quite a squeeze in there!!!!!! There's only me in the grumpy old woman's corner cos I'm so effing grumpy I kick all the new people out...and when I,m not grumpy I,m weepy! Great getting older innit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazz Posted April 8, 2011 Report Share Posted April 8, 2011 im a nice person, ill give you my last penny, but dont cross me! dont ask me a question if you dont want the answer ermmm yep, im your catagory lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K9Fran Posted April 9, 2011 Report Share Posted April 9, 2011 oh yes, forgot to say, grumpy v grumpy doesn't end well for one of them (and today it wasn't looking good for the jobsworth on the DIY till in Tescos who tried to tell me I'd only scanned 5 items but got 6 in my bag) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tisaann Posted April 9, 2011 Author Report Share Posted April 9, 2011 Mmm that sounds interesting K9Fran, wanna give us a run down of the spat. I'm sure it has resulted in some person now drowning their sorrow in gin and wishing you ill health Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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