Ruthi (borrowadog) Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 Nearly 3 years ago I came across a Refuge topic that changed my life. Its here (can't work out the topic link thingy) http://www.therefuge.org.uk/forums/index.p...ng+relationship and I woke up to what a crappy relationship I was in. He hadn't been terribly violent, had only hit me on one memorable occasion, but the threat was ever present. I was deeply depressed, on heavy duty anti-depressants and pretty well paralysed emotionally. But it had never occurred to me until that moment that it wasn't all my fault for being such a useless individual. It took me a few months to get organised and move out. Then we had the drama of him harrassing me and trying to steal Tiger. Eventually we ended up in court over the house - and I won resoundingly! A little over two years ago I met Les. The first man in my life who was basically sorted. A little light hand-luggage, but nothing serious. He's gentle, funny, sexy, housetrained, and he loves me AND my dog (s) - oh, and my human family too! We moved in together far too soon, bought our house far too soon, and married last May. On Saturday we finally get to go on our honeymoon, which is why I am posting this a few days earlier than the anniversary of reading Jules' article. So to all of you out there going through horrid times, it can and will get better! It may need some courage to break out of the rut, or it may need some wonderful person to help us realise what we have done to ourselves, or it may be both. Missus Jules Kats Inc, I will be forever grateful to you for opening my eyes. I salute you! Here are the loves of my life Ruth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cycas Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 Awww. All your loves are hairy! What a lovely post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherlock Bones Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 What a wonderful post: I hope you have an amazing honeymoon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billydog Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 What a fantastic post - thank you for sharing it Have an brilliant honeymoon!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazz Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 awww thats so nice. There is hope for us all xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacobean Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 I'm so pleased that life is so good to you now. Enjoy your honeymoon and make sure you show us some pics when you get back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotslass Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 That brought tears to my eyes. You deserve your happiness - enjoy every moment. It's lovely that Kats inc's words meant so much, and that you took them on board. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClazUK Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 Fantastic post and I'm so pleased to see 'that' topic mentioned as many newbies may have missed it. That post changed my life, too. Again, no physical abuse but I was very depressed, walking on eggshells, tired of always being in the wrong, always never doing enough, my every move being scrutinised and judged. If anyone out there is having doubts about where their relationship is at, PLEASE go and read that post. It gave me the confidence to walk away from a 30+ year relationship that made me a shadow of myself. to Jules and more to Ruth & Les. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ranirottie Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 I hope you have a wonderful honeymoon and a great rest of your life. I have walked away from 2 bad relationships/marriages and found a wonderful third so I echo what you say.x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReikiAnge Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 Ruth, that's a lovely post I'm really glad you have a lovely partner now and all the happiness you deserve. Have a wonderful honeymoon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruthi (borrowadog) Posted January 26, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 Thank you for your kind wishes! It is going to be fab! Three weeks in India! Gosh, Claz, I never realised twas you too! Maybe we should start a 'Saved By Jules' club! Go on, all you new fugees (male and female!), go and read the original! I read it and then Jules sent me a link to a checklist http://www.thingsarelookinup.com/Abuse/test.shtml - I think my score was in the high fifties, whereas with my ex husband it had been about four! Now its ZERO!!! Ruth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lazydaisy Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 You deserve all the happiness in the world. I hope you have a lovely honeymoon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kats inc Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 Aww thank you both Ruth and Clare You don't know quite how much I actually needed to hear that today so it really does mean a huge amount.I'm really touched and delighted to have helped.I have people who helped me out of 'that place' too who I am eternally grateful to. Have a wonderful honeymoon Ruth,you deserve every minute to be filled with love,laughter and joy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brenda Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 What a lovely heartwarming post. I am so pleased that you ar ehappy and I hope you have a wonderful honeymoon - you deserve it. I am very happily married to a Les! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redditchlady Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 Congratulations on being married and finding a lovely new man. Kazz xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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