Pendlewitch Posted January 9, 2009 Report Share Posted January 9, 2009 This isn't a critisism really, the staff at dad's care home do work their butts off! Dad is in a poor state now and his advancing dementia does not help as he can be more than a tad aggressive, he's mostly bed bound and has very limited mobility and sight but does definately know what he does and does not want and makes his feelings known, often quite rudely. Problem is he is becoming very dehydrated, the staff say they are offering him drinks and he tells them to bugger off but I know from experience if he is asked again in a minute he will say yes. Every time any of us go in we succeed in getting him to drink loads and it's amazing how quickly his mood and co-ordination improves. OK, he is not going to improve to any huge degree and we know he has probably days rather than weeks as he has an advanced terminal cancer but he does not have to die from dehydration! The care home really do not want to move him into a nursing home as it would be very distressing for him to be shifted about at this stage but I do feel that the home are not meeting his needs anymore. I was told he was offered steamed fish for his lunch but I was there the entire lunch time and he was offered nothing and when he is brought a meal it's dumped on his table and he is left to get on with it which he just can't do, he then is recorded as having refused the meal! We are going to raise these issues with the care home manager, but are also are going to locate some protein drinks to take in with us which may help and, as we all have to work and have limited time to visit, we were thinking on the lines of paying someone to go in at least once a day to ensure he has more help with nutrition. I don't know if we would be allowed to do this and if it would contravene some rule somewhere especially if we used a care agency, maybe we should just invent a new family member! If anyone has any advice to offer it would be most gratefully received! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zico's mum Posted January 9, 2009 Report Share Posted January 9, 2009 (edited) I'm working as a Care Assistant in a Residential Home and I find your post very worrying.We are stressed out too but any resident who is in need of assistance with both drinks and meals is on a feeding chart,checked daily.We too find that a resident will say no when offered food/drink but a few seconds later will accept if offered again - and if it's not to their liking an alternative is found.Residents are monitored in the dining room and rooms to see if they are eating their meals,whenever care staff or ancilliary staff remove plates if a resident is (consistently) not eating they are moved to a table with staff seated who can encourage them to eat or if bedbound a member of staff sits with them.Drinking plenty of fluid is absolutely vital for someone in your Dad's position - for his comfort obviously.You should not be paying someone to ensure your father recieves such basic care,the Manager needs to sort his/her staff out to ensure they are caring for the vulnerable. Edited January 9, 2009 by zico's mum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rufus the wonderdog Posted January 9, 2009 Report Share Posted January 9, 2009 I'm working as a Care Assistant in a Residential Home and I find your post very worrying.We are stressed out too but any resident who is in need of assistance with both drinks and meals is on a feeding chart,checked daily.We too find that a resident will say no when offered food/drink but a few seconds later will accept if offered again - and if it's not to their liking an alternative is found.Residents are monitored in the dining room and rooms to see if they are eating their meals,whenever care staff or ancilliary staff remove plates if a resident is (consistently) not eating they are moved to a table with staff seated who can encourage them to eat or if bedbound a member of staff sits with them.Drinking plenty of fluid is absolutely vital for someone in your Dad's position - for his comfort obviously.You should not be paying someone to ensure your father recieves such basic care,the Manager needs to sort his/her staff out to ensure they are caring for the vulnerable. Agree totally. You do need to talk to the Care Home manager as a matter of some urgency - this sort of care is unacceptable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spins4me Posted January 9, 2009 Report Share Posted January 9, 2009 This isn't a critisism really, the staff at dad's care home do work their butts off! Dad is in a poor state now and his advancing dementia does not help as he can be more than a tad aggressive, he's mostly bed bound and has very limited mobility and sight but does definately know what he does and does not want and makes his feelings known, often quite rudely. Problem is he is becoming very dehydrated, the staff say they are offering him drinks and he tells them to bugger off but I know from experience if he is asked again in a minute he will say yes. Every time any of us go in we succeed in getting him to drink loads and it's amazing how quickly his mood and co-ordination improves. OK, he is not going to improve to any huge degree and we know he has probably days rather than weeks as he has an advanced terminal cancer but he does not have to die from dehydration! The care home really do not want to move him into a nursing home as it would be very distressing for him to be shifted about at this stage but I do feel that the home are not meeting his needs anymore. I was told he was offered steamed fish for his lunch but I was there the entire lunch time and he was offered nothing and when he is brought a meal it's dumped on his table and he is left to get on with it which he just can't do, he then is recorded as having refused the meal! We are going to raise these issues with the care home manager, but are also are going to locate some protein drinks to take in with us which may help and, as we all have to work and have limited time to visit, we were thinking on the lines of paying someone to go in at least once a day to ensure he has more help with nutrition. I don't know if we would be allowed to do this and if it would contravene some rule somewhere especially if we used a care agency, maybe we should just invent a new family member! If anyone has any advice to offer it would be most gratefully received! Ask for a review with the home's manager and his key worker and make sure the things you are asking for are written into his care plan. At the home my mum is in there is a daily record of what is happening, which you can ask to see and I understand that this should be the case in all homes. If you have asked for him to be kept well hydrated it should be in his daily plan/record. The same with his food - ask for them to make sure he is fed his meal if he's not managing it himself. This should also be recorded in the daily plan. Hope that is some help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owl Posted January 9, 2009 Report Share Posted January 9, 2009 I worked as a care assistant both in care homes and clients' own homes, and can only echo what previous posters have said. Complain to the management, and if you get no joy of them take it further. If the home can't meet his needs it may be distressing for him to be moved, but it will be more comfortable in the long run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katiebob Posted January 9, 2009 Report Share Posted January 9, 2009 What a horrid situation to be in My mum has mild dementia and has recently been moved to a care home. From what I can see they are very good and do help her with her meals etc but today she had a fall (cos she won't ring her buzzer ) and then the dementia took over and because my sister was in visiting her, she announced that all the staff were trying to starve all the 'clients' Despite this, she thinks the food is great!! She said she hurt herself in the fall and that as she is the spokesperson for all the other 'clients', they will starve without her To be honest it's not funny, although it does sound it. It's just a bit tragic However, as you were there, and saw what was happening with your father, I would agree that a meeting with the Care Manager would be a positive step forward Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddyboy Posted January 9, 2009 Report Share Posted January 9, 2009 This sounds exactly like a friend's father - right down to the terminal cancer part. Ask to see his notes - she found that when she had agreed "do not resuscitate" it actually meant basically if he said no to food and drink then so be it..... sorry to be so blunt but all the signs are the same - including him drinking when you offer him some and being dehydrated when you are not there to give him a drink.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotslass Posted January 9, 2009 Report Share Posted January 9, 2009 If the home can't meet his needs it may be distressing for him to be moved, but it will be more comfortable in the long run. I agree with this and all of the other comments. If the care home manager thinks it's bad for him to be moved, then they have to demonstrate that they are meeting his needs. It doesn't sound as if they are, to be honest. It's not an unusual scenario; patients with dementia need tactful, sensitive handling - and if they can't manage that, and ensure that he is kept hydrated, then they're failing in their duty. He deserves to be kept comfortable and content for the time he has left. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lazydaisy Posted January 9, 2009 Report Share Posted January 9, 2009 I hope you can get the proper care your Dad needs. I saw a headline in a newspaper (have not read the article) about someone dying in hospital of malnourishment. I am not suggesting that this is happening to your Dad, but I think you are right to be worried about him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pendlewitch Posted January 9, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 9, 2009 This sounds exactly like a friend's father - right down to the terminal cancer part. Ask to see his notes - she found that when she had agreed "do not resuscitate" it actually meant basically if he said no to food and drink then so be it..... sorry to be so blunt but all the signs are the same - including him drinking when you offer him some and being dehydrated when you are not there to give him a drink.. Crikey, that sounds ominous, we do have the 'do not resusitate' in his care plan. I'll check that out tomorrow! Thanks all for the valuable input, it's a great help having you all here at this difficult time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houndzrus Posted January 10, 2009 Report Share Posted January 10, 2009 I hope you get something sorted soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazz Posted January 10, 2009 Report Share Posted January 10, 2009 massive hugs to you. I hope it gets sorted out xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kats inc Posted January 10, 2009 Report Share Posted January 10, 2009 This sounds like my Nan to a T. Sadly when we moved her to a nursing home in the hope of better care it really didn't turn out any better.The care home really couldn't cope with her lack of mobility any longer so she had to go despite the trauma we knew it would cause but I think my Mum had more arguments with the staff there over lack of care,drinks and food being one of the main causes,than she ever had with the care home. Talk to the council,they have to regulate and liscence care homes and send inspectors round.If you could find out who the inspector is and have a word it may help. You could also maybe try talking to the district nurses that visit that particular care home as they will have an allocated nurse. I hope you get it sorted and your Dad gets some decent care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ranirottie Posted January 10, 2009 Report Share Posted January 10, 2009 that all sounds very worrying. I was a carer as well in both residential and private homes and we had to monitor our clients carefully and see to their needs properly. We would have been in big trouble if we had failed to do our job to a good standard. I would go with the advice that everyone else has given and speak to the manager to make sure that his special needs are on his care plan and being seen to. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K9Fran Posted January 11, 2009 Report Share Posted January 11, 2009 Do they have something like a Red Tray Scheme http://www.cardiff.ac.uk/sonms/newsandeven...-takes-off.html so staff can be highlighted the risk he is at? There is a huge difference between 'do not resuscitate' and allow to starve to death IMHO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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