buddyboy Posted August 15, 2008 Report Share Posted August 15, 2008 you mean you didn;t tell them about your mad granny who is normally locked in the attic but somehow managed to escape that day?!?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merledogs Posted August 15, 2008 Report Share Posted August 15, 2008 Sorry Helen, but :biglaugh: You just KNOW that you are going to be their topic of conversation for weeks I think if I were you I would emigrate until they've finished. Sorry, not much help am I, have a I have one, not as funny as yours, but close .... I was in our Coventry office on Wednesday and they only have one loo for ladies. There is an outer bit where the sinks are, then a toilet cubicle which is open top and bottom. I have had dire rear this week and had to go several times while I was there. About the third time I went in and had just sat down when I heard someone come in behind me. I absolutely could not hold the dire rear any longer, so I flushed the loo to mask the noise and did the first bit. However, there was still lots more to come and I couldn't expel it while the other person was in the loo, so I clenched my cheeks and hoped they would get bored waiting. Eventually I heard the door open and close and thought they'd gone, so I had a very noisy (farty slurpy type noises) poo and did a big sigh when I'd finished. I wiped, sprayed the air freshener and went out, only to be faced by a heavily pregnant woman holding her nose and looking like she was going to barf I apologised profusely, said I had a bad stomach so couldn't hold it - she was embarrassed for me, said she was desperate otherwise she would have come back later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
purple_mog Posted August 15, 2008 Report Share Posted August 15, 2008 There is that You should have taken the lead from your dogs - had a sniff, kicked up a bit of grass and walked off with a satisfied look on your face, leaving it for someone else to clear up I am loving that as a response Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
incapuppy Posted August 15, 2008 Report Share Posted August 15, 2008 OMG - I don't know who I am more mortified for - Helen or Alex I think you both deserve a big round of applause for being game enough to come on here and admit what you have done so that all your Fugee friends can have a jolly good laugh at your expense sympathise with you I do feel your pain, but thank you for making me do this> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snow Posted August 15, 2008 Report Share Posted August 15, 2008 Helen I do beleive I have done myself an injury from laughing so much - I may sue!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathyw Posted August 15, 2008 Report Share Posted August 15, 2008 Alex nearly peed myself reading that. for the poor pregnant lady. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tegk68 Posted August 15, 2008 Author Report Share Posted August 15, 2008 Oh Alex . Thank you so much Moonandboo and buddyboy, those are classic replies! Helen I do beleive I have done myself an injury from laughing so much - I may sue!! Well I called the OH for moral support and for some strange reason he lost the power of speach. When I asked if he'd heard me alright, all I could hear was muffle, smirk, mumble. Maybe it was a bad phone line . No matter he's home soon and I am off to the pub . I'm ashamed to say I have started drinking already. Needs must and all that.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murtle Posted August 15, 2008 Report Share Posted August 15, 2008 OMG I'm with Inca on the thoughts.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peachy Posted August 15, 2008 Report Share Posted August 15, 2008 Cringe but mostly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rufus the wonderdog Posted August 15, 2008 Report Share Posted August 15, 2008 Well I called the OH for moral support and for some strange reason he lost the power of speach. When I asked if he'd heard me alright, all I could hear was muffle, smirk, mumble. Maybe it was a bad phone line . No matter he's home soon and I am off to the pub . I'm ashamed to say I have started drinking already. Needs must and all that.... Not the pub the builders use Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
owl Posted August 15, 2008 Report Share Posted August 15, 2008 If it will cheer Alex and Helen up, I confess to nearly having done something awful the other day. Thank goodness I just woke up out of my vague state in time, otherwise I would have been beside myself with shame. Next to my loo there is a round wickerwork laundry basket fing with a padded lid you can sit on after a bath. It is exactly the same height as the loo. It is kept next to the loo because it contains not only all my socks, but also the loo roll which has to be hidden from Wispa. I wandered in with my mind on something else, lifted a lid, sat down and JUST in time realised I was not on a loo seat. That was very nearly a soggy disaster for my sock collection. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lil_angel Posted August 15, 2008 Report Share Posted August 15, 2008 oh dear Mine's really dull compared to that. Came out from paying for petrol earlier not really concentrationg and headed for the passenger door. Then had to circle the entire car with everyone watching to get back to the drivers side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bonniebird Posted August 15, 2008 Report Share Posted August 15, 2008 The other day, I pulled in to the garage to get diesel. There was a very good looking young man filling his car up next to me. I put my right hand down to side of my seat to find the petrol cap lever, but pulled the seat lever instead and ended up almost flat on my back I do lots of stuff like this but can't remember it all off hand. Joe knows Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClazUK Posted August 15, 2008 Report Share Posted August 15, 2008 I do lots of stuff like this but can't remember it all off hand. Joe knows Yep, according to Matt I do lots of this stuff, too. "Bunny brained moments" he calls them The only one that springs to mind recently was me getting excited cos I'd found a book online I'd never read, by Armistead Maupin, one of my favourite authors. I was terribly excited when it arrived, unwrapped it, and flicked through...... the German text The reason I didn't recognise the title was because it was in German. I already have it in English. And yes, the listing did say it was in German, I was just too excited to read it properly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
domino's mum Posted August 16, 2008 Report Share Posted August 16, 2008 Oh Helen and Alex you no what they say "sh*t happens" I have'nt laughed so much in ages Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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