The Things They Say Or Do To Embarrass You ....

[snow]

When I went to lunch with the vicar on Wednesday much hilarity took place, especially when we got onto the subject of the things children say or do to embarrass their parents, naturally the vicar said it was far worse for him and went on to prove it ...

 

His son is 5 years old, he wants a pair of binoculars for Christmas, only he can't say binoculars, this week in school the teacher went round the class asking each child what they wanted santa to bring them, the vicars son answered that he hoped santa would bring him a pair of knockers

 

I told my mil this story and she said she could beat that ... my nephew is also 5 years old, my MIl always says "ecky thump" rather than swearing... she went to collect him from school on Monday, he came running out to the gates where allllllll the other parents were and shouted "granny does ecky thump mean the same as f****** hell?"

 

So whats your funny stories? Doesn't have to be kids, dogs, cats, husbands etc all welcome - share the cringe!

[Spins4me]

 

 

I told my mil this story and she said she could beat that ... my nephew is also 5 years old, my MIl always says "ecky thump" rather than swearing... she went to collect him from school on Monday, he came running out to the gates where allllllll the other parents were and shouted "granny does ecky thump mean the same as f****** hell?"

 

So whats your funny stories? Doesn't have to be kids, dogs, cats, husbands etc all welcome - share the cringe!

 

That made me laugh so much I nearly choked.

 

Years ago we were having a drink in a pub garden with friends and all our kids. My son came over carrying something in his cupped hands and shouted excitedly, Mum, look at this beetle it's got great big testicles (tentacles) on its head."

 

PS This thread should have a "Not for those with a dodgy pelvic floor warning".

[greys mum]

Got on the bus when my eldest daughter was about 3. At the top of her voice asked why the lady was dirty? Hadn't she had a wash? The lady was black and one of my best friends. She thought it was really funny. I cringed. The rest of the people on the bus were horrified.

 

My friend has never let me forget it and she still laughs about it to this day.

[Ian]

at Snow

 

 

Embarrassing, Greysmum!

Edited December 18, 2009 by Ian

[blackmagic]

At a family gathering,my four year old passed wind rather loudly.

 

He then announced to everybody 'Oh, my bottom is speaking to me'

 

My father nearly swallowed his pipe.

[Laura_E]

A few classics that I was responsible for saying as a child.

 

Around Sunday luch one time I told my grandad to stop being such a nymphomaniac as he was complaining about being ill. I was eight at the time and had clearly meant to say hypochondriac, I have no idea where I got nyphomaniac from!

 

At the same dinner I also referred to the Dulux dog as the Durex dog!

 

Then when I was six my dad took me to the panto and it had got to that part in the play where all the children repeatedly say 'he's behind you'. Noticing my bemused expression my dad tried to encourage me to join in, at which stage I turned to him and said in a rather precocious manner "be quiet father, the man's clearly an idiot"

 

I have never been able to live that down!

[mum24dog]

Got on the bus when my eldest daughter was about 3. At the top of her voice asked why the lady was dirty? Hadn't she had a wash? The lady was black and one of my best friends. She thought it was really funny. I cringed. The rest of the people on the bus were horrified.

 

My friend has never let me forget it and she still laughs about it to this day.

 

I'm told that I did the same as child in the early 50s. To be fair, I probably hadn't seen a black person before where we lived in the Peak District.

My eldest was a bit more polite and just commented that one of her friends was "all browny".

 

Pam

[Judith gsd]

We went to look at a house when my son was around 4 years old. He asked me if the man of the house was having a baby! Just because he was carrying a little bit of a tummy! Unfortunately, he didn't say it quietly. Oooopps!

[EGAR]

We went to look at a house when my son was around 4 years old. He asked me if the man of the house was having a baby! Just because he was carrying a little bit of a tummy! Unfortunately, he didn't say it quietly. Oooopps!

 

Only happened last week, he told his teacher that Mommy bought a vibrating "thingy" with batteries, what he forgot to mention was the fact that it was....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...a toothbrush.

[Spins4me]

I was telling OH about this thread and he reminded me of when I was teaching in a special school and had a class of 7 year olds. As part of a theme about families we were discussing names and most of them didn't realise that their parents had a name other than "Mummy" or "Daddy".

 

One little boy was struggling with this so I asked him what his Mummy's name was, he answered, "Mummy."

So I said "Yes but Mummy has another name. You call her Mummy but what does Daddy call her?" He gave me a lovely smile and said, "Dulie" (Julie).

"Aha", I think, "I'm winning here."

So I asked, "And what's Daddy's name?. He answered "Daddy."

So I said, "Yes, but Daddy has another name. You call him Daddy but what does Mummy call him?" Again came the lovely smile, "Doopid prat," he said.

 

It was an unforgettable moment!

[Fee]

Alice aged about 3 had recently seen her first cinema file - 101 Dalmatians - which had obviously made a strong impression.

 

A few days later we were standing in a queue in the bank behind someone in a fur coat and she piped up very loudly in a horrified voice "Mummy is that lady's coat made out of dead animals?"

 

That's my girl!

[owl]

My sister aged 4, in a museum with classical statues adorned with the traditional figleaves: "They made those statues all wrong. Boys don't have leaves there, they have willies."

 

And again, in Selfridges where a very posh sales assistant had a couple of ash blonde streaks in her dark hair: "Why does that lady look like a badger?"

 

Love the beetle story, Spins.

[billydog]

I managed to embarrass my parents rather spectacularly aged about 5 in a restaurant

 

Apparently, in that piercing voice small children have which manages to but through any other conversation, I announced “I know what periods areâ€

 

Cue red faces and a general hush in the restaurant, followed by a sigh of relief when I added “there are sunny periods, rainy periods...â€

 

 

[ziltha]

I was telling OH about this thread and he reminded me of when I was teaching in a special school and had a class of 7 year olds. As part of a theme about families we were discussing names and most of them didn't realise that their parents had a name other than "Mummy" or "Daddy".

 

One little boy was struggling with this so I asked him what his Mummy's name was, he answered, "Mummy."

So I said "Yes but Mummy has another name. You call her Mummy but what does Daddy call her?" He gave me a lovely smile and said, "Dulie" (Julie).

"Aha", I think, "I'm winning here."

So I asked, "And what's Daddy's name?. He answered "Daddy."

So I said, "Yes, but Daddy has another name. You call him Daddy but what does Mummy call him?" Again came the lovely smile, "Doopid prat," he said.

It was an unforgettable moment!

 

I had something similar when I asked a child what her mummy's name was. She replied "Mummy". I said "What does Daddy call her". The answer was, "Sexy"

[gremlin22]

A bloke i used to work with on the local crew setting up for concerts had a 4 yr old kid. This bloke used to go off on tour with bands and stuff and had loads of tattoos. Apparently the kid had a "what jobs your parents do" day type thing and when asked what his dad did, instead of saying the usual kind of thing and much to the teachers horror, his little lad stood there and said "my dad does sex, drugs and rock n roll"..i laughed so much when he told me that.