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Stooopid Things You Say


Hollysdad

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Me to Samantha (again) just now:

 

ooh look Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is on (cue Samantha switching channles to put it on)< and in my best Dick Van Dyke voice I spounted out "Gor blimey Mary Poppins" as the words were coming out of my mouth I realised my mastake and quickly followed with "ah sorry wrong film" whilst Samantha burst into laughter....................

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Had a friend round when we moved in (to help), and on trying to put a new lampshade on,we discovered a lightbulb was stuck. On trying to move it, it broke and shattered onto the floor. We picked up the big bits of glass,and I said I'd hoover it later.

She said 'You'd better put your feet on in this room until you've hoovered'

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When Barings went bust and AIG came to the rescue and bought the bank, all the employees (around 800 people) were crammed into the dealing room, I was one of them waiting for our new CEO from ING, Hessel Lindenbergh to talke to us for the first time. He strode into the room, climbed onto a dealing desk rigged up with microphone and announced in front of everyone how pleased ING were to have bought Barclays. There was a silence and then a chorus of 'you've bought the wrong bank then!'.

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When Barings went bust and AIG came to the rescue and bought the bank, all the employees (around 800 people) were crammed into the dealing room, I was one of them waiting for our new CEO from ING, Hessel Lindenbergh to talke to us for the first time. He strode into the room, climbed onto a dealing desk rigged up with microphone and announced in front of everyone how pleased ING were to have bought Barclays. There was a silence and then a chorus of 'you've bought the wrong bank then!'.

 

Seems I've made an error too, should read ING not AIG! :laugh:

Edited by Nettie
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Was chatting at work the other day and I said "You know that film with that actor in it" :wacko:

 

 

 

 

 

Erm :unsure:

 

 

We used to get that all the time in at Blockbuster. 'You know that film with that actor in it? You know, he was in that othe film with the one from that one....'

 

Not what I used to say as much, but for pretty much the first 21 years of my life I thought gammon was fish :mellow:

Edited by cheryl33
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Lottie jumped in the river yesterday, it was in full flood and she was getting washed to where I knew there was a fallen tree but, you could not see it. I was worried she would get tangled in the branches so was shouting directions at her. Luclily she did what she was told. When she got out my pal announced that I had shouted at the top of my voice.

 

"If you drown I'll kill you" :wacko:

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Me to work colleague a few years ago: "I'm going for a fresh of breath air" :wacko:

 

Work colleague to me a few years ago: "Did you see my ket of sees?" (set of keys lol)

 

Me to hotel receptionist a few months ago: "Good morning. We'd like to log out please" :unsure: Guess who's using the internet too much :laugh:

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A couple of geographical gems from my graduate surveyor today (one of those people wot is training to the old adage of property is all about location, location, location).

 

Him: I've been invited to Ascot! Where's that then?

Me: Ascot.

Him: (on looking at an internet map) oh it's near Maidenhead (which for you non locals is in Berkshire) I thought that was in Oxford (again for you non locals, isn't).

Him: (seeing on same map and pointing at Farnborough) oh! Farnborough. Is that where the Airshow is?

Me: (eyes now rolling back in my head) What, the one called The Farnborough Airshow??!

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