elricc Posted May 6, 2007 Report Share Posted May 6, 2007 I have a few members of Mark's family coming to visit his mum who lives round the corner. I know that Mark's nieces other half has kept racing greyhounds in the past and that his parents still do. When he came to visit Mark's mum before, we discussed what he does, and I made it very clear to him what my views were I what I thought of people who were connected to the racing industry, and didn't see any problems with it or that it was very cruel and blatant animal abuse. So they are coming again and talked to Mark's mum about coming round to see us, now Mark's niece works in a betting shop again I feel supports the racing industry, and I have said to Mark's mum I will not have them in my house as I feel absolute disgust at what they are involved in, Mark's mum did her usual turning the tears on and has said I am stopping Mark seeing his family. I have no problems at all with Mark visiting them at his Mum's (which he couldn't give two hoots about) but I have told her again I will not have these people involved in the racing industry in my house and I am happy to explain to them why, not make up things like Mark's mum would. I have today had Mark's brother in law telling me that his niece has to have a job and thats what she wants to do, I said fine, but still I will have nothing to do with people who support the racing industry. He rang off after calling me various names lol. I am sticking to my guns and my principles, and Mark says its a good way to not have to have a lot to do with them, but then Mark's mum is onthe phone crying again, so what would you do, am I being too hard? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fiona711 Posted May 6, 2007 Report Share Posted May 6, 2007 (edited) No i dont think you are being too hard at all they all know your views and it is after all your home , so your decision , if they dont like it tough , if Marks mum is crying down the phone while i appreciate that makes it hard for you i still think you are quite right to do what you think is right and at the end of the day she will have to accept it sooner or later so just stick to your guns , i would Fiona xx Edited May 6, 2007 by Fiona711 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greytgirl Posted May 6, 2007 Report Share Posted May 6, 2007 for you, and NO you are not being too hard, although they may not be cruel people they are FULLY supporting one of the cruelest industries, and if you are against that, you have every right. I too would be exactly the same as you, stick to your guns, as she has to work and its what she wants to do..what you want to do is protect the beautiful dogs from the horrors of this industry, so they have to accept that also Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mooandboo Posted May 6, 2007 Report Share Posted May 6, 2007 I'd do exactly the same - you're not preventing Mark from seeing his family so that rules out that bit of emotional blackmail. Ignore the tears & stick to your principles - they wouldn't change their views for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loobie Posted May 6, 2007 Report Share Posted May 6, 2007 Stick to your guns Laura, you know you are doing the right thing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacobean Posted May 6, 2007 Report Share Posted May 6, 2007 In this kind of situation I would put pen to paper and write every detail down of what happens to greyhounds, then give it to the family. Write it in a calm, informed manner. Some do have a decent life, cared for, welfare looked after and then retire to a family home. If your family are good with their own greyhounds then they will think everyone else is and not realise that most actually don't. If he has something to read maybe then he will understand (if he doesn't think you are being an emotional gibbering prat). Some people just don't realise. Most people don't realise what goes on behind the scenes of greyhound racing unfortunately, even if involved with it. I didn't have any idea until I joined these forums a couple of years ago. I can understand why oh's mum would be upset as she doesn't understand, maybe hasn't taken on board what you've said. You may one day get your message across and get them to take the information in if you keep chipping at it. I understand your viewpoint and I'm a person of principals myself. It's your home and it's up to you who is allowed to enter it. Family can be the hardest to get through to at times. I waffle on about dog rescue all the time to my family. I think they secretly think I'm a nutcase. My Dad quite often says to me so what do you do with these dogs. Well why are you driving them about. They're not yours. Haven't you got enough with your own dogs. People just don't get it and you have to make them listen somehow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happylittlegreensquirrel Posted May 6, 2007 Report Share Posted May 6, 2007 I don't think you are being to hard at all Laura , you have your own morals and they are a constant part of your life not something you pick and choose as it suits you as you say Mark is totally able to interact with his family anywhere he chooses ( if he wants to ) except your house , so its not like anyone is being deprived if more people were like you and did not pick and choose when to apply their morals the world would be a far better place Sam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elricc Posted May 6, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 6, 2007 Mark's mum has watched us drive all over the place, have umpteen dogs, have a lifestyle which in essence has evolved to cater for them. Sell our furniture to pay vet bills, she knows exactly how we feel, i just think she comes from a generation where the overall concern is for everything to be "nice". She herself doen'st have strongly held beliefs, except in the existence of "nice" lol Also I have talked very rationally to Marks niece etc. and they know how I feel and have seen GA stuff etc in the house when they turned up before (out of the blue) and asked about the dogs. I have never been over emotional or abusive towards them, but now feel that I really shouldn't compromise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacobean Posted May 6, 2007 Report Share Posted May 6, 2007 In that case they are grossly insensitive then. In your position having done all of that in the past I too would stand my ground. You do right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReikiAnge Posted May 6, 2007 Report Share Posted May 6, 2007 I think it's up to you who you have in your home - and I think if Mark hasn't already, he needs to make it clear to his mum that it's not you stopping him from seeing "his" family, that he doesn't want to go either, because he feels the same way about this as you do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babsc71 Posted May 6, 2007 Report Share Posted May 6, 2007 I understand your viewpoint and I'm a person of principals myself. It's your home and it's up to you who is allowed to enter it. Family can be the hardest to get through to at times. I waffle on about dog rescue all the time to my family. I think they secretly think I'm a nutcase. People just don't get it and you have to make them listen somehow. OH thought I'd gone mad when I paid more money for a tv because I would not buy that brand from Korea as they eat dogs & cats and skin these animals alive I explained this all to the salesman who was not aware of the situation and for once a salesman did not know what to say. I did get a discount though because I think he wanted me out the shop asap I just keep and hope that even one person takes it in. Stick to your principles, girl. I feel trouble brewing with my in laws as they may just breed from their dogs.............................. Maybe we should start our own support group?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fee4 Posted May 6, 2007 Report Share Posted May 6, 2007 to thine own self be true. fee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akitas Posted May 6, 2007 Report Share Posted May 6, 2007 I admire you for your courage. From own experience, I know how difficult it is to stick up to your family. Great that your OH supports you and I agree with the others, it is your house, do as you want. I like Jacobean's idea nevertheless, as I find that many people are unaware of rescue dogs, etc Tbh, I have no idea about the situation of racing dogs, but don't like the whole industry as they just use the dogs and dispose of them if not needed any longer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merledogs Posted May 6, 2007 Report Share Posted May 6, 2007 It's your home Laura and it's yours and your dogs' sanctuary. What you choose to do or who you choose to allow to visit is entirely at your own discretion. Why should you allow someone to visit your home who you don't feel comfortable with and if they are calling you names on the phone that would make me stick to my guns even more It's not like you are trying to stop Mark seeing his family. Good on yer for sticking up for your principles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSDFan Posted May 6, 2007 Report Share Posted May 6, 2007 I think you're doing right sticking to your principles. An ex OH of mine had a niece who was going out with someone who was involved in the repeat testing of drugs on animals. He was actually a nice bloke but I couldn't have him in my house. As long as you aren't stopping Mark seeing his family then I don't think the family have any right to complain. Principles aren't really principles if you abandon them when they are inconvenient. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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