Fiona711

Raking over old coals , grievences etc is not going to help the forum become active again , some people cannot stand confrontation and bad feeling , so even coming on here and reading this thread could easily have them thinking , whats the point ? I think the longer you stay away the harder it is to come back too . Sadly the likes of facebook has killed forums , as most people post there these days instead of the forums There have been a few good suggestions so far eg links from facebook etc , sadly they have been overshadowed by the negativity . I think we are all aware of why this board was set up and most of us would agree on the whole it has been run fairly and people have not been too frightened of getting banned to post their opinions. As for cliques , im sure they do exist here like everywhere else , but sometimes thats not a bad thing , lets face it you would not be part of all your friends circles of friends in the real world would you ? I find it quite sad that some people do feel ignored and not part of the so called in crowd , but rather than sit back and feel miserable it would be much better to become more involved by posting more not less , how many people who feel ignored answer other peoples posts regularly ? Everyone of us is different , thank gawd How we feel on any day can have an impact on how we feel about posting , replying feeling ignored etc , but if we are having an off day we expect people to understand that , but how many of us can honestly say we make allowaces for other people when they are having an off day ? I have been AWOL for a lot of reasons , but would hate to see this place and everything it stands for disappearing so i will make the effort to post a bit more , one person cant make much of a difference but if lots of people try to post more often can. Just my rambling thoughts Fiona xx

Sainsburys are selling tins of quality street for 4 quid , i might have bought a few , still unopened but not sure they will last until xmas :laugh: Fiona xx

I thought i was seeing / hearing things , but the dogs heard/ saw it too , so was happy when i realized i had'nt really lost the plot :laugh: Fiona xx

Thought i would pop in and give you all a More snow overnight , yuck stay warm and safe where ever you are and what ever you are doing , Fiona xx

Nooooooo bad enough in her knickers ,but when she started on about hiding stuff in her sanitary towels that was just too much :sick01: Fiona xx

Gillian is rude obnoxious and pretty toxic , Stacey should have lamped her one for the way she spoke to her . Stacey only said what everybody else in the camp was thinking , one thing though Gillian did admit she was there for the money which made me laugh lots , sorry but if shes that phobic about everything theres no way she could do the things shes doing , who else with a real phobia about beasties water etc could go underwater where theres loads of beasties and undo stars ? Dom did not take any of her nonsense and she got 5 stars ? Fiona xx

Hope its good news Fiona xx

Im another one who agrres with responsible breeding , im not a very experienced dog owner i grew up terrified of dogs especially black ones after been bitten by a black lab as a child , i was so scarred by that experience that when my ex husband talked me into getting a dog finally , his breed of choice was a Dobermann and i insisted that if he wanted one it could not be black and tan it had to be the liver and tan , does that make me shallow ? I dont actually care as it turned out that daft dobe dog taught me everything i know about dogs , training and behaviour, and because of him i now have 2 very happy dogs. When i felt ready to take the plunge with another dog for company for my lovely Taz my breed of choice was a Pyrenean mountain dog because i had dreamed of owning one from a small child but thought it would be impossible because of my very real fear of dogs . there is no way on this earth i could have taken on a rescue dog at that time i had neither the experience or the knowledge to do so , so i went to a reputable breeder after researching the breed for over 25 years . I travelled not much under 1000 miles to bring my puppy home after being thoroughly vetted by her breeder , over quite a few weeks and hours on the phone and quite rightly so, she was reluctant for one of her pups to go to a novice home and only relented when she realized how much research i had done , i broke 2 cars and eventually had to hire a car to collect her so she ended up costing me a fortune , a lot of people slated me for it at the time i can remember being told how many dogs in rescue that money could have helped , however i have never felt guilty about buying either Taz or Akira from breeders , they have had a life they might not have had if they had been sold to somebody who could have used them for breeding or worse . My point is at that time i could not have taken on an adult dog so my decision to buy a puppy was the right one for me my family , my circumstances and most important my puppy , Taz bless him would have accepted any dog into his home it was my lack of experience that prevented a rescue coming here .So my decision did not mean a dog would die in a pound because i could not have taken one on . When i lost Taz i was devastated and did not want another dog at all , at the time i was involved in a rescue operation involving an awful lot of greyhounds who were in a disgusting state , and decided to try my hand at fostering which i never thought i would be able to do . Akira loved having some doggy company as she had been miserable since Taz left for the bridge , however Bart our foster dog did not much like being bounced on my a huge fluff ball who even as a pup was huge and heavier than he was . The rescue did have some very dodgy ideas and as a novice to the rescue world i did question their methods back then but just wanted to help. When it was time for Bart to move on i cried buckets over him and was really upset , one day i saw Storm on a website and i just wanted to help him he looked so sad , i was turned down as a foster to start with because i had Akira and the rescue was worried as they were told storm was everything aggressive and with huge dogs like them if something goes wrong it can be horrific , however i kept in touch and asked about the progress they were making trying to find him a foster place and after a lot of chats the rehoming officer asked me if i would be willing to let her bring Storm over to meet Akira to see how it went , 4 years later he is still here , he still has some issues but hes a fantastic dog and more obedient than Akira . it has all been a fantastic learning curve for me and i have learned a lot more about dogs behaviour towards each other its not been easy but all the hard work has paid off and i have 2 happy dogs which is great . Now to the question would i buy another dog from a reputable breeder ? My answer would still have to be honestly yes i would , i have experience of very few breeds of dogs and i would like to think i could offer those breeds a good home however Taz was not a typical Dobe i was very lucky that he was such an easy going dog. Pyreneans do not often come up in rescue in fact in the last 15 years including my Storm ive only heard about 2 being in rescue in Scotland which is brilliant . I love the breed and i understand them very well for all their stubborn independant ways they are a real challenge but a rewarding one . It will very much depend on my circumstances when im looking for another dog if i go to a breeder or go down the rescue route im not saying my next dog has to be a Dobe or a Pyr but i will say i will only ever have dogs that i know i can work with and who are right for me , i know myself well enough to know i could not take on a dog thats high maintenece and needs constant stimulation for example a collie as i would definately not be the right home for that breed , who knows i might fall even in love with a teeny weenie yorkie Puppy farmers and BYB,s should all be shut down and in an ideal world they would be , we all know that but as has already been said in this thread reputable breeders cannot stand them either . We all have our own thoughts and ideas on this very emotive subject and i really do admire people who can offer a home to any dog that needs it no matter what breed or x breed they are and i think im slightly jealous of some of you having the confidence to do just that . I dont judge people for the decisions they make , it would be great if we were all in a position to say " i will only ever have rescue dogs " but we are not and if that means some of us are limited by our own fears or circumstances then thats just how it is , and i would rather have a pup from a reputable breeder than take on a dog i could not cope with and had to take back to rescue because of my lack of experience , that would break my heart . Fiona xx

Aw Marian thats lovely to read Sham has came so far in her life with you Bri and the girls do you think Sham would have a quiet word in Madam Akiras ear please she is still a wee sod when it comes to grooming i just have to pick up the brush and she runs I tell her shes a spoilt brat who does not appreciate the good life shes got because shes never known anything else , i often wonder if our rescue dogs appreciate us more because they did not have a good start and i knowt hats crediting them with human emotions but it does make me wonder as Storm is so much more obedient loves being groomed and will let me cut his nails with no problems where Madam is a real drama queen , hates being brushed , hates getting her nails cut and loves being a pain in the butt Just as well i love her to bits is'nt it ? Fiona xx

R.I.P Jacko . I hope you find a peace now you never had when you were alive . Love him or hate him you have to feel sorry for him and his family , he was obviously not what most people would class as normal . The sad thing i think is we dont know what was the truth about him , yes he was a genius in the world of music but i also think he was a tortured soul who did not know where he belonged or even who he was and thats extremely sad . He pulled some very stupid stunts , did some very stupid things in his lifetime even said stupid things but then who doesnt ? Was he really a monster under the naive exterior ? Or was he a child in a mans body ? I have no idea but its not my place to judge him because i dont know but if these children were abused by him then i only hope the parents did what they saw as right by their children for the right reasons and for the good of their children . Fiona xx

Interesting topic , years ago i used to work for a man from Pakistan and i once asked him why the word Paki was deemed to be offensive , his reply was " i am a Paki if i was from india i would be insulted if anyone called me a paki bit im not so it does not bother me in the slightest " He then went into a conversation about how some people from England hate the scots and told me that in the same way some people from pakistan hate indians and vice versa i was totally baffled by that as anyone who knows me knows my geogrophy is shocking Pakistan could have been in India for all i know but i found his answer really interesting but what i also find interesting is the way different words can be offensive in different parts of the uk . In Fife you hear the words paki shop or just the pakis as often as the chinkeys I think its a very fine line between using these words as an insult or in general conversation . Intrestingly enough i have often heard people from pakistan call each other pakis , not in a derogatory way but in general conversation . My son was once told off for being racist when he told a wee boy in his class that his skin was the colour of chocolate i could not believe the schools attitude as Robert did not mean any offence at all , he was only in primary 3 and interestingly enough it was the adults that had the problem with it not the kid involved . I think the world has gone mad i really do . Im sure a lot of people if they wanted to be deliberately offensive would use a lot worse language than paki brit pom etc Im sure a lot of people use these terms just in general and do not mean them as an insult at all . If they are deliberately offensive then thats a totally different thing . I have chinese friends who when they were debating wether or not to open another shop in the next town asked me if i thought the town needed another chinkeys . These same friends found the word chink offensive but not the word chinkey , which i dont get , but everyone has different views and feelings i suppose . Its a mine field thats for sure , but as Alfie and his friend did not see it as insulting i think its sad that Alfie got told off for what for him was an innocent remark . Fiona xx

Laura i wish all teachers were more like you but sadly there are not many teachers who are willing to listen and interested in taking on board how to handle autistic kids in my experience The high school i took my son out of , had him in a room alone and taught him nothing for almost 18 months and im not exagerating , one of the teachers decided to teach him his alphabet , this is in first year of high school not primary , and the way he went about it was to use Roberts name and baby talk R is for Rabbit O is for Orange etc etc now for an intelligent boy thats just a joke and pretty insulting . That school took on a teacher who was supposed to be an expert in autism in children but had no idea of what she was doing , even the basic idea of how these kids mind work was beyond her and the amount of times i had to explain to this so called expert the very simple idea of stress levels and triggers for a meltdown was just unbelieveable and to have this women say to me regularly " oh i never thought of that " was just a joke , i think this thread is about peoples personal experiences with teachers not a teacher bashing thread I was lucky that i had the ASIST team fighting Roberts corner , as the frustration was unbelievable i know my son i know how he behaves and reacts to stress , i seemed to be forever going over the same things time after time ecplaining over and over again how to deal with Robert , at the end of the day its not rocket science and yes i know teachers deal with loads of kids on a daily basis and its bound to be frustrating for them too , however some of them they could make life easier for everyone, themselves included if they would just take on board what they are told instead of having the attitude that they know better when its so obvious that they dont . To be asked at the start of every meeting " Do you think Robert should be in a mainstream school " was disgusting and considering there are no special schools left in the area a terrible attitude to have . Considering my sons new school have him performing very well and in most of his classes , engaging with teaches and his peers , instead of being shut in a room with support teachers, who instead of teaching my son spent the time gossiping about other members of staff , just goes to show the difference when people are willing to listen and take on board advice from parents who lets face it know our kids better then anyone . There are some great teachers out there who are interested and will go the extra mile for these kids but sadly they do seem to be in the minorioty at least up here anyway , there are a couple of teachers at Roberts school now who have no idea how to deal with him so if there are any problems they call for a member of staff who knows how to diffuse a situation rather than go in all guns blazing and make things worse , which to me is a sensible approach at the end of the day none of us get on with everyone they meet and there is always going to be a clash of personalities somewhere along the line so i for one would rather things were done this way . The amount of times i have explained to teachers about not giving Robert choices but clear firm instructions is unbelievable , for example if you asked Robert would you like to do your maths work now ? He would say no and of course that could cause problems as some teachers would think he was being cheeky , not so , he was given a choice and made it so to him theres no point in asking him again he has answered the question , but if you say to him Robert you have to do your maths now there would be no problem , thats just a basic example because Robert thinks so literally and sees things very black and white i have learned how to get the best of him and when i pass on that information then get an irate teacher on the phone telling me Robert is refusing to work then of course i do get frustrated , especially when i then go to school and am told that he was asked if he wanted to do something instead of being told what is expected of him Sorry i could be here all day going on about things that have gone wrong with Robert in school but im only trying to make the point that at the end of the day all we want is our kids to have a proper education and have their special needs considered , as i said some teachers are great and will go the extra mile but others are just not willing to make allowances and in fact because of their lack of understanding can make some pupils lifes hell and the parents who then have to go to school and sort out the problems that could easily have been avoided with the right approach in the first place . Fran being disorganized is the norm for these kids im afraid its so frustrating knowing they are capable of doing x y and z but changing their way of thinking takes an awful lot of hard work and sometimes the best option is the school phychologist stepping in to help them retrain their thinking although that does not always work , accepting their wee quirks and working around them is sometimes the only way to go and good communicatin with the school does help especially if teachers are willing to write down what your son is going to need for the next day or a wee note in his homework book so you know what he needs to do can save a lot of frustration all round Fiona xx

Brilliant memories to cherish Terri , Xander is growing up fast and doG help Arran when Xander overtakes him in the size department Fiona xx

My heart goes out to you on this one i have spent years back and forward to school for this very reason , i am lucky in a way Fife is the only county in Scotland to have a team of workers that go into school and teach teachers how to teach autistic children and they have been a god send . It is so frustrating because as you say these kids take so much before they finally blow up , the trick is getting the teachers to pick up on the signals before it gets to the stage where your son loses his cool , we know our kids stress levels are higher anyway trying to deal with all kinds of sensory issues on top of the normal school day , if you can write a list if the signs that your son is getting really stressed and go into school with the list and make sure every single teacher gets a copy it could be helpful. I know thats easier said than done because us mums just know without having to be told when our kids are stressed . I know with Robert he will start either tapping his feet , drumming his fingers tug his own hair or put his hood up and stop communicating when his stress levels go up , if the teachers can recognize these signs it really can help if they are willing to take your son out of the situation he is finding really hard to deal with . Theres no point in the teachers saying " he needs to tell us whats bothering him " because thats part of the problem with these kids they cannot put their feeling into words so we have to find a way for teachers to recognize the signs of stress . The education system seems to work differently in England so im not sure who you can get onside but there has to be somebody you can go to , up here its the education officer , every school has one and they are usually pretty helpful but im not sure if you have them down south ? It also helps if the school is willing to listen and take on board what you are telling them about your son , i had to move Robert from his first high school because they made it pretty obvious they did not want him there every single meeting i had the question was asked " do you think Robert should be in a main stream school " grrr well yes , my son is very intelligent , ok he has his wee quirks , just like everybody else , but with the right kind of teaching he does very well but with teachers who are not willing to learn it can be a total disaster , i have lost count of the times i have said its not rocket science teaching these kids its common sense everyone has some kind of issues and these kids have it tough enough without teachers , not understanding how their minds work . Kicking up merry hell maybe sounds like a good idea but it does not always work i have learned over the years that keeping my cool and explaining things over and over again like im talking to a toddler gets much better results and it helps if you have a close friend who knows your son very well who can put things into words for you when you are trying to explain how you deal with your son , i know i do things automatically and when im asked how do you do x y or z my mind goes blank because i do things without thinking , so somebody else on the outside looking in can sometimes explain things better . If you fancy a wee chat you have my phone number , sometimes just knowing you are not alone helps Fiona xx

Thank you all so much I have had a lovely day , i got up this morning to loads of Happy Birthday banners and yellow and black tape with " Warning Birthday Zone " plastered all over the house , thanks to my lovely daughter Mel and her pal Kym :laugh: I got spoiled rotten with some lovely pressies and i even got lovely flowers and chocolates , wine and a birthday balloon delivered , the poor delivery driver had to come twice with different lots thank you to my lovely friends who sent them , they meant a lot to me Mel and Robert bought me leopard print pans to go with the one they got me for Christmas and they even found a leopard print mop , they know me so well the thing is they are all too nice to actually use Marion i love that Pyr Pic thank you Fiona xx

Awww Marion i am so sorry i missed this Rosie was indeed a very special girl so gentle and loving :GroupHug: For you and Brian and squidges for the girls left behind . Run free gorgous im sure Cleo Taz Rio and the rest of our bridge babies will show you the ropes at the bridge :wub: Fiona xx

Happy Birthday Have a great day Ingrid Mind no too many sweeties for the flicks :laugh: Fiona xx

Happy Birthday Hope you have a lovely day Fiona xx

Im glad Pumpkin is home now Cathie Fiona xx

Thank you I am very proud of Mel , shes a smashing girl , even if she was slightly driving me nuts looking at the ad trader online last night , then checking insurance prices for different cars , but i know shes over the moon and desperate for her own wee car so i dont mind really it was kinda sweet Ingrid , Mel says we can have as many drunken nights out as we like now and she wont mind being Taxi , but she didnt offer to pay for our nights out so we might have to limit them slightly Fiona xx

:GroupHug: Sounds like you have a good Gp Fran I always think that once you know what you are dealing with life becomes a wee bit easier , and it sounds like you are on the right road to getting a diagnosis for your son , well done for being a caring supportive mum , always remember you know your son better then anyone and im proud of you Any diagnosis takes a fair bit for you to get your head around but at least you know you are doing everything you can to help your son and as i said if you want a chat you know where i am , Kids on the Autistic Spectrum are very special you know Fiona xx

Happy Birthday Nic , hope you had a good one Fiona xx

I have pm'd you I would just like to add you have in no way failed your son , you have recognized a problem and have asked for some help thats the sign of a loving caring mum who wants the best for her son Fiona xx

Run free at the bridge Gorgeous boy , forever young :GroupHug: Fiona xx

Happy Gotcha day Gorgeous Im sure Keira thinks every day with you is special Billy Fiona xx