yena Posted August 2, 2009 Report Share Posted August 2, 2009 I would like to thank you all for your kind words, when I lost Matthew my son on the 1st April 2009. Also for the kindest shown when I lost Tillee and Molly 3 days later. Today I would like to share Matthews last journey with you. It was such a special time for a wonderful son. Maria Matthew’s Funeral Matthew funeral was on Monday 20th April, 3.40 at Rawdon Crematorium In the morning, we all went to see Matthew at the funeral directors. The painter, decorators and electrician were working and we had to walk across dust sheets to get to the room were Matthew laid, my darling son. We stood for ages, looking at the coffin, we were advised not to see him, nature had taken it‘s toil. We talked and thought about him, we had tears of sadness, joy and laughter. I drummed and stroke Matthew coffin, it was the first time I’d been near him for over a month. Michael, said ‘I would get a shock, if he drummed back’ we laughed. The lights flickered, we stared wide eyed, than laughed again. We signed the coffin, each saying our own words, that Matthew would take with him, until the end, each with meaning and understanding, we cried. I left glitter pictures that I’d ask Andrews children to do, Michael left photos and pictures, Stevie left a book Matthew had wanted to read and Mark left a cigarette, a last smoke. Than we turned away, leaving our son and brother behind, he would return home only once more. We sat in the garden, the sun was shinning it was a beautiful day, just right for my son to make his journey. We sat and waited for Matthew to arrive, we all looked so smart, Stevie in his uniform, Matthew would have been so proud. Michael in his suit, Matthew always used to say how smart he looked and Mark in his Cookie Monster t-shirt, how Matthew would of laughed at that. We’d asked for no flowers only flowers from the families’ gardens, Michael and Joanne, had 4 flowers, one from each of them, Megan and Chloe, Sarah and Stevie had Apple blossom for our garden, Mark had a tulip, Mick and I had Apple Blossom taken from the highest branch of the tree. He arrived, I cried when I saw the coffin, waiting for all for us, it would be the last journey Matthew would make from home to his last resting place, it broke my heart. We got in our car, a man walked in front of the hearse, for a distance, than it was time, Matthew was on his way. We arrived at the crematorium, we were so surprised at now many people had come, family, friends, work friends. You try to say hello to them all, yet your heart is breaking making it so difficult to do so. Mum and Dad were missing we waited and waited until we couldn’t wait anymore, Matthew had waited so long for this time and it now was time to say goodbye. Matthew was carried into the church by his Dad, Brothers, Andrew and Paul our dearest friend. We played 'Geno' by Dexy’s Midnight Runners, I wanted to laughed it sounded so funny, yet I worried people might think I was hysterical, so I stayed silent, and walked behind with Joanne and Sarah at my side, linked arm in arm, with my wonderful Daughter-in-Laws. The coffin was placed at the front and it began, the service that would see my second Son put to rest. Such a beautiful service filled with the joys of Matthews life, what he’d done and our love for him. Than it was time for me to say my words, words I so wanted to speak, no-one but me could tell Matthew now much we had missed him and that he would always be in our hearts. I managed to say my words without crying, it wasn’t hard, I had to do it for my Son. Dearest Son, It is so difficult to put into words, how much our world collapsed when you left us. It broke all our hearts and now we are all left with a massive space, that can never be filled. A empty space that you probably didn’t know would appear, you never realized just how much you meant to us all. Life was never easy for you, you had so much to cope with, and for years you found it so hard. But, in the last 13 months, you changed so much. Once more you became the Matthew we all knew, and loved. At last you had found yourself again, and we never stopped telling you now proud we were. Our lives have changed without you here, the house is so quiet, meals times are not the same and we miss the little things you did, the ‘hello’s’ the ‘going to bed, keys on the side’ no more will we hear your voice or see your face, but, you are still with us in our hearts and minds. Now is the time for us to let you go. Remember we will always miss you, you will always be in our thoughts, and in our hearts. Goodbye Son and Brother, how hard it is for us to say goodbye. Until we meet again love Mam and Dad Afterwards I asked for people to sign the coffin, to leave special words that Matthew could take with him, something nobody could take away from him. They played 'Hotel California' by The Eagles, and people came and signed, so many came, leaving their words just for Matthew. Than it was time to leave him, now can you leave your Son, it is so hard, so very hard. After years of looking after him, we had to leave him alone at least he had our words of love. People kindly left messages in a book and also left donations that would go to the Little Dog Rescue. Mum and Dad arrived just afterwards, they had gone to Lawnswood crematorium, they had got it all muddled up, Matthew would of found it so funny that they had got the wrong place. Although they had missed the service, they could still say their goodbyes to Matthew. They placed they hands on the coffin and Dad said ‘Matthers’. I wrote their special words for them. It was a wonderful day, a day that hopefully we will never forget, yet as time goes along parts of it will become blurred just like Matthew will also become blurred. I would like to think we did the best we could for Matthew, that he would of enjoyed his funeral just as much as we did. It was a wonderful end to at times a sad life, yet in the last 13 months a wonderful life. It was a CELEBRATION My child, no more will I see your face No more will I hear your voice I will never hold you close again You have gone forever Gone to a better place Where life can do you no harm My Child, My second Son, My life Matthew’s ashes were spread on Wednesday 22nd April, in a leafy glade, The committal was said and he’s ashes were spread in the sign of the cross. Present, Me, Mick, Mark, Michael, Joanne, Megan, Chloe, Stevie, Sarah, Mum, Dad and Trevor . Megan, said ‘Uncle Matthew is in the clouds with Grandad’ and lifted her eyes to the sky. The place where you lay Where ever we decided to place your bodily ashes It had to be a wonderful place Full of the joys of the seasons A place were you would get light and shade Where you would be warmed by the evening sun and the winters rays It didn’t take long to find A piece of ground with dappled shade Not windy nor sunny just right for you to lay Ivy, daffodils and a primrose to mark your last resting place A joyful place for you to stay We said our good byes with tears of love We blessed the ground on which your ashes were placed A place were we can go and cry and speak words of love The last resting place that will be forever your little piece of land ******6.7.09****** 'Geno' was played because Matthew and Mark would always shout for it to be played when we went to the local pub. 'Hotel California' was played for Matthew and Stevie. One night they had gone out and Matthew had got up to sing on the Karaoke. Afterwards whilst he was in the toilet, someone came up to him and said, if he sang again, they would beat him up. So what did Matthew do, he came out the toilet got up on the stage and sang 'Hotel California'. That is so typical of Matthew doing what he wanted without thinking. Stevie was panicking about getting beaten up and Matthew's was singing his heart out on stage. Matthew’s funeral not only had to be special to us, it also had to be what we thought Matthew would of like. He would have been delighted by the people that carried his coffin. He would of sat and looked at the pictures, he’d read his book and smoke his last cigarette. Most of all he would of loved people signing his coffin. Afterwards he would of said ‘Mum, I so enjoyed that’ If I have missed anything out I am so sorry. The reason, sadly my mind is already blurred. Maria Thank you for taking the time to read Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houndzrus Posted August 2, 2009 Report Share Posted August 2, 2009 That's a lovely tribute Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissa Posted August 2, 2009 Report Share Posted August 2, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greytgirl Posted August 2, 2009 Report Share Posted August 2, 2009 Im sorry but Im in floods here, you are so brave and strong, what a BEAUTIFUL post you have written, such a wonderful mother. Sounds a special send off for your special son..God bless you all, you did him proud Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
collies r best Posted August 2, 2009 Report Share Posted August 2, 2009 Wonderful words , all so full of meaning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murtle Posted August 2, 2009 Report Share Posted August 2, 2009 Such a beautiful tribute Maria. The mind may blur but the love will always remain. Love, light and hugs to you always Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ranirottie Posted August 2, 2009 Report Share Posted August 2, 2009 I have already replied to this lovely post so from me Maria. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeadyP Posted August 2, 2009 Report Share Posted August 2, 2009 A beautiful tribute to Matthew. My heart goes out to you all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lil_angel Posted August 2, 2009 Report Share Posted August 2, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EAD Posted August 2, 2009 Report Share Posted August 2, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacobean Posted August 2, 2009 Report Share Posted August 2, 2009 You've done him proud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
incapuppy Posted August 2, 2009 Report Share Posted August 2, 2009 That was beautiful Maria, thank you for sharing it with us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kats n greys Posted August 2, 2009 Report Share Posted August 2, 2009 Your love for Matthew shows in every word. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotslass Posted August 2, 2009 Report Share Posted August 2, 2009 I can't imagine what you're going through, Maria; your heart must be broken at losing your precious boy. Bless you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helly Posted August 2, 2009 Report Share Posted August 2, 2009 what a lovely tribute for matthew Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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