Making Friends...and Do You Have Any Special Ones?

[Gemstone]

I am a really sociable person, have lots of friends locally through dogs, church and kids. A few of them always talk to me about all their problems but my closest friend is my OH and I only really cry on his shoulder . I like having lots of friends as when my OH is away, I feel that I need adult company to keep me sane and I will see a friend each day.

[safneo]

I have three 'good' friends. One I used to work with and was there for me when me and ex-oh split. Her and her hubby stood guarantor for me when I rented a flat., We rarely see each other due to both having hectic work/kids/dog lives. We get together maybe once or twice a year and phone each other about the same, but its always like we have seen each other recently when we do. Then we usually spend hours catching up with each others lives.

 

Another friend I met through work for the same reason, ex-oh split, she took me out on the town and we used to go out every week. I made friends with her friends to and we got on really well. When I was single we spent most free waking hours together as liked the same things though she is 10 years younger than me. Now we see each other a few times a year, text and email each other more often, though we only live local to each other, but are both busy people.

 

Then my most recent and probably bestest friend (besides OH) who I met on the forums I miss greatly as she has moved away from my local area. I used to enjoy our girlie chats and putting the world to rights on our dog walks.

 

I do find it hard to make time for friends while working FT, having to walk the dogs, and spend time with OH and Lauren. I just try to fit everyone in when I can but sadly fail badly

[melissa]

I think I'm lucky in that one of my sisters is my best friend, we never go a day without speaking, texting or emailing & although we have different interests I would trust her with anything & likewise. I have 3 other really good long term friends who know me really well & I love to see regularily. I think as I'm not in a longterm relationship there is sometimes the 'problem' of friends doing things with their partners & I don't want to go along as the gooseberry! I go to my friends place in Spain every year with another friend & they leave their husbands behind!

As I have got older I sometimes feel I really can't be bothered to explain my sometimes unconventional life/strange family to people & don't feel I have the spare time to start again to develop a special bond.

I know a fair amount of people but I wouldn't necessarily call them good friends.

[ranirottie]

I am a chatty,friendly person and I do genuinly care about people so I make friends easily but sadly I am also easy to take for a ride. I tend to believe the best about people until I am proved wrong so I get let down quite often. But I have lots of friends that I chat to and meet occasionally. I have 4 "best " friends that don't live locally but I have known for a long while and I can talk openly to. Two of them I went to school with. Hubby is my bestest friend and is always there for me and I am also friends with my mum,which sounds weird but we get along like friends. I am also very close to my oldest daughter so can count her as a friend too. I have friendly people in the village (including my neighbours) that I talk to and they pop in for coffee,so I count myself very lucky.x

[Melp]

Like Cher I'm easily taken in and have been let down badly several times.

 

Garri is a freind I met when the kids started school. She's fun, reliable, trustworthy and non judgmental. You could tell her anything and know it'll go no further. Shes also very thoughtful and honest [if yer bum looks big in that dress she'll tell you!]

 

There are other girlfreinds in the same group but none are as close as Garri [we go out together on nights out etc]

 

Jacqui Davis and I have been close mates for about 6 years though we only met for the first time in June this year. Jac is probably the closest freind I've ever had and would share anything at all with her. I love her to bits

 

There are other people I'm fairly close to and would hate to lose from my life. Mainly they're people from here and I love them all

[supafrisk]

I have lots of friends luckily but only two or three special friends, I prefer it that way.

 

I have a best male friend, and a best female friend.

 

My best male friend and I talk on the phone anywhere between 3 times and 15 times a day, and sometimes text as well.

We fall out probably once a week but one of us will invariably apologise and we're mates again.

He is there for me financially too. I've lost count of the times he's bailed me out when I've been up the creek like when the car's broke down and I haven't been able to afford to repair it. When I bought the car I couldn't afford it at the price they had it up for so he lent me £1000 and said pay it back when you've got it - he can be a pain in the backside sometimes but I love him to bits in a completely platonic way - we've both said the human race would die out if we were the only two people left on the planet. His only real fault is that he can be a bit jealous regarding other friends I have.

My best female friend and I talk a couple of times a week and we text a lot, she is completely different to him and as she's had a lot of problems both financially and personally I play the same role for her as my male friend does for me, helping her out with food, lifts, money etc.

She would drop anything to help me, I remember 11 years ago my ex fiancee had walked out, leaving me pregnant with no money and the house a pigsty. She came round with her (then) husband and while her husband laid a second hand carpet another friend had given me, she scrubbed all the floors and bleached the kitchen etc. She was 9 months pregnant

 

I have another friend who I talk to all the time but he can be two faced and has lied to me in the past, so I prefer not to tell him the important stuff.

[BillyMalc]

I think I come across as quite chatty and friendly, although I might not always be the first one to start a conversation whoever does start will get one out of me I talk to loads of people, at work as well as at home on the estate where I live, but I only have a few people who I'd call "proper friends" (don't y'all go and wipe off your Facebook now, I luv ya, honest! ). I used to have a good few more friends, but over the years they turned out not to be real friends, so I fell out with them and even if I will now say hello and talk to them when I meet them on the street, I won't be friends with them again. I've still got a couple of friends in Holland, who I've known for 15-20 years, and even though we see eachother next to never, whenever we do manage to meet up it's like it's only been a week or so

I'd like to have more friends, but what with working FT and having 3 dogs I hardly have any time and energy left for anything sociable. And the weekends are again for my dogs: we go for walks whenever the weatehr is halfway decent. Not many people I know can understand the importance of 'my guys' in my life - like not really wanting to go for a drink after work because I need to walk the guys first and cook them dinner - and again, talking about the important things in my life. My dogs are the most important in my life, and although I can hold my own in any political or whatever discussion, I can't comment on boyfriends/OH's/husbands and kids, or the amazing thing that happened when I went out clubbing - I go out about twice a year

I've done the "join a sports club and make friends" - thing several times, but no friendships ever came of that, and I've now resignedmyself to being unfit and a size bigger than I used to be.

Overall though, I think if I could choose between a busy social life and lots of friends but no dogs, or the very boring life I've got with my dogs now, I'd still choose my dogs

[purple_mog]

Also, this may sound odd but it is a genuine thought. I have another very good friend in York. She's really lovely and knows loads of people. Plus she's very good at chat and very sociable. Fancy a friend blind date???

 

You know what - I'm up for that!!

 

 

 

thanks as always guys, tis lovely to read your perspectives and I'll come back and post proper replies. I have been making a special effort to get to know lovely lass at work, though as she is now pregnant this may not work out too well. Only because understandably babies tend to take up all of your life....

 

 

Billymalc - I totally agree with you, my life is very much centred around my dogs yet I wouldn't change it or them for the world, they give me so much love and support though I suspect they wish I had another human friend instead of yabbering on at them

[Abby]

You know what - I'm up for that!!

 

I will email her tomorrow and check she's up for it too - I'm sure she will be, she likes meeting new people very much

[boosboss]

'spose I best say Karen, else she'll kill me

 

Nah, really we have a weird but very funny relationship. It's the sort where you can say what you want disagree on loads of stuff, but never fall out about it. We just kind of agree to disagree and move on. Don't get me wrong, we'll both say what we mean, but won't let it be bigger than the friendship, if that makes sense We also have a really evil sense of humour that some people may not approve of sometimes. We have to get all our swear words, dirty talk, backbiting, sniping and p*ss taking done before we meet up with others She can get a bit jealous of my other friends though.She'll say things like "Oh can he go there on his own?" or "Not that bl**dy American woman again!" She's gonna kill me, but in my defense she does admit to bieng a 'Jealous witch' and is prepared to 'scratch eyes out'

 

 

Anyone else want a friend like me?

[sundaygirl]

I have two very close female friends that if im honest i very rarely see these days but we text and e-mail regularly and i know that if i ever needed to talk or get some support they would always be there for me as i have been in the past for them We have been friends for 36 years now and that is something i treasure.

 

Lots of friends who are fantastic but not nearly as close and as i am quite a private person i would find it difficult to share things with, but thats my fault not theirs as they would be willing to listen if i opened up more. I have lost a lot of people along the way that i dont regret losing for a second and funnily enough quite a few of them were fall outs over the fact that i would not socialise as much as they would have liked me too....i have never been one for baby sitters and much prefer to be at home with my boys and the dogs...my real friends understand that, thankfully

 

Doesnt mean i dont really look forward to the girlie nights out when i get the chance though

[khanu]

I don't have and never had have any close female friends. I don't really have any *close* male friends either. I have a few very good males friends and one good female friend. I'm fairly self sufficient and have never felt the need to talk stuff over with other people.

 

All of my good friends I see rarely now, we've all moved to different parts of the country/world most are in or connected to the services so tend to be around and then not for a good while. We don't really keep up with emails or texts much either, and yet we know that should one of us need us, we would all be there in a shot, and when we get together it's like we saw each other only yesterday.

[JessandCos]

My oldest friends that I have known since I was 5 is still in London, she travels alot 6 months of the year, but we are always there for each other and we can pick up where we left off.

 

I have a another close friend down here in the forest, we fell out badly for about a year, and could not talk or see each other, since I bit the bullet nearly a year ago, we have been slowly getting back on track. She has her own views on me coming out etc which I mainly choose to ignore. We go back about 13 years as well, so she knows me better than most.

 

I have met alot of people down here, if there is anything involving relationships etc etc I have my two close gay boys who I can talk to, as they are better than most women , and I know who would stand by me and who would walk away.

 

It is quality of friendships not quantity that is important and I would much rather have a handful I can trust than 10 than I can't

[DanishPastry]

I don't really "do" close friends either, I just don't like telling stuff about myself, but I do have some friends that are close than others. Xandra (Erika) who lives in Dubai is one, but we obviously don't get to speak as much anymore, but I do miss her loads! We don't have to speak often to still know each other.

I have made a new friend since moving to UK, one not from the internet I mean A girl from my work. We go dog walking together, or make cards, or have a meal out. She is a really nice girl, and I hope we will know each other for a long time to come.