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The Day My Heart Broke..


greytgirl

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The 14th September of last year, a year ago to the date yesterday, but the day was Friday 12th September...my life became pretty meaningless, apart from my daughter I see no joy anymore in my life and the thought of spending it without my Mum fills me with dread and fear..my wonderful Mum was so poorly for so long, diabetes the terrible disease that caused it all...her heart condition, her kidneys, her loss of eye sight and eventually the gangrene that took her leg and had began in her other foot... :mecry: :angry: she deserved to be taken. to rest but to us left behind the pain still rages through our hearts, below are 2 verses that hit spot on how I feel...I go through stages, sometimes I cannot control my grief and all I do is cry, sleep and draw into myself but sometimes I "pretend" that Mum is sat at home or in the hospital still (somewhere she was more than home) and I become numb to the reality, so the 2nd poem is what people may think, that Im ok, but inside Im completely crushed and alone...my daughter, Katie was best friends with Mum, they ADORED each other and this also kills me, I see her crying and wanting her Nanny Pat...gone FAR too soon aged 64. :mecry: :mecry:

 

anyway enough rambling. thanks for allowing me to share. :GroupHug:

 

Mum I love you with every ounce of me, you were EVERYTHING to me and I will never feel complete happiness ever again or see things the same, they dont hold the same beauty or feelings they used to...nothing ever will now you're not here to talk to about them..I only hope you know how brave, precious, loyal and just BEAUTIFUL you are to me, to all of us please be at peace now, you deserve it SO very much.

 

Legacy of Love.

 

A wife, a mother, a nanny too,

This is the legacy we have from you.

You taught us love and how to fight,

You gave us strength, you gave us might.

A stronger person would be hard to find,

And in your heart, you were always kind.

You fought for us all in one way or another,

Not just as a wife not just as a mother.

For all of us you gave your best,

Now the time has come for you to rest.

So go in peace, you've earned your sleep,

Your love in our hearts, we'll eternally keep.

 

Don't Think I Do Not Grieve

 

by Brenda Penepent

 

Don't think I do not feel;

because you see no tears.

A river rages deep inside

of grief, and loss, and fears.

 

Just because I do not cry now,

don't think my heart's not broken.

I keep inside the misery

of words not to be spoken.

 

Sometimes I smile, or crack a joke,

so you won't see the pain;

or notice how my hands will shake,

or how I've gone insane.

 

Each time I chance to think of her,

my heart is ripped asunder.

The loss I feel is mine alone.

you will not see my thunder.

 

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:GroupHug: My mums been gone eleven years at the end of the month, I still miss her, but, I talk to her every day and I feel her around me when I am at my lowest, and at my happiest. Time makes it easier, but never better and you are never old enough to lose your mum. :GroupHug: Edited by Red Rotties
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