Do You Open Your Partners Letters?

[Shazzy]

The only letters I dont open are birthday cards (of course) and his wage slip but thats only because I have internet banking and already know how much he got !!!!

 

He opens mine if he's home first but wont open anything that is to do with clients.

 

I always open the boys stuff and these are generally parking ticket reminders or speed camera fines

[mum24dog]

I never open my husband's snail mail and vice versa, unless he is away, in which case I tell him what has arrived and he tells me if he needs it opened. I think that's only polite and just because we are together doesn't mean we don't have to respect each other's privacy. I think the fact that we do has contributed to the length of time we have been together - 38 years now.

 

Email is a different matter - I read his because they're usually business related and could be urgent when he's working away. He has other email addresses I leave alone though. He doesn't read mine , partly because they are private, but mostly because he isn't in the slightest bit interested.

 

Pam

[ReikiAnge]

Pam, my sometimes opening my husband's mail has nothing do with not respecting his privacy. It's something that works for us, it's not every day and it's not all mail and it's not as though I just decided to start doing it behind his back one day and sneak into the garden to read it

 

Quite often he opens his own stuff but if he's away and I think something might be urgent, I'll tell him, open it and read it to him over the phone. He used to do this with my stuff when I worked in an office and he was at home, I'd ask what post, he'd open it and read it to me.

 

There are just some things, like road tax, tax bills etc., that stand more chance of being paid without getting fined etc. if I see them in the post and make sure they get paid by the right date. He has no problem with this, we have just been talking about it. Like he said, we have nothing to hide - and he's grateful as it saves him having to remember some things.

 

Like you I also check his emails for him if he's away as he gets business related ones and I can let him know about anything urgent and/or respond to anything in his absence. He doesn't check my email because a) I'm usually here and b) he'd fall asleep reading about the latest dog toys.

[Kathyw]

There are just some things, like road tax, tax bills etc., that stand more chance of being paid without getting fined etc. if I see them in the post and make sure they get paid by the right date. He has no problem with this, we have just been talking about it. Like he said, we have nothing to hide - and he's grateful as it saves him having to remember some things.

 

The above is the reason why I have to take control of the post now. I have a stonking headache but as soon as it goes we are going through all Ray's paper stuff because he doesn't know what he has opened that might be important and needs dealing with asap.

 

Like you, mum24dogs, I do not like opening someone else mail nor do I like anyone opening mine. Not because I/Ray have secrets or things to hide but because it's the way I was taught.

 

Now I do not really have a choice if I do not want to end up in court, even though I have taken over almost everything that needs payment, some things like parking fines never occured to me.

I also have to make my name the primary one on some things so that I actually get the mail and it's not shoved in his file box and forgotten.

 

Oh for the days when Ray dealt with everything and all I had to do was spend money.

[kats n greys]

I open mine and anything addressed to both of us but not if its just addressed to Chris. I wouldn't like it if he opened my mail. x

 

 

Same here, unless away and then only if I'm asked to open it.

 

Also brought up not to open anybody elses mail

[houndzrus]

We open each others. To be honest Keith's never interested in them, so I usually do it, we've never had a problem with it. I wouldn't open anyone else's though.

[murtle]

anyone notice it's usually the guys who aren't bothered and the gals that have to deal with it

[scotslass]

I don't see a problem with business mail, but after years of living with a man who used to open my personal mail, I am fiercely protective of my privacy. My OH wouldn't dream of opening a personal letter addressed to me, and I wouldn't open his. Emails to friends are also private.

 

I would never open my adult children's letters, or read their emails; I can't imagine invading their privacy in that way.

 

In Kathy's case, since Ray is unable to cope with his mail at the moment (and it sounds like business mail anyway), I'd open it.

[houndzrus]

anyone notice it's usually the guys who aren't bothered and the gals that have to deal with it

 

 

Yep, that's it exactly.

[jacqui d]

my other half could care less, he doesnt sort anything that comes in the post anyway, he just hands it to me

[alipally]

I only open my own mail and really hate it if my OH opens my mail

[ReikiAnge]

anyone notice it's usually the guys who aren't bothered and the gals that have to deal with it

 

Yes!

 

To those talking of "invasion of privacy" - that's fair enough if the person whose mail is being opened doesn't know or doesn't want it opened, but when they have asked/agreed/discussed, no-one's privacy is being invaded, is it.

 

I'm not sure either of us actually get personal post, other than birthday/Christmas cards. We tend to keep in touch with friends and family by email, phone and text.

[scotslass]

Yes!

 

To those talking of "invasion of privacy" - that's fair enough if the person whose mail is being opened doesn't know or doesn't want it opened, but when they have asked/agreed/discussed, no-one's privacy is being invaded, is it.

 

I'm not sure either of us actually get personal post, other than birthday/Christmas cards. We tend to keep in touch with friends and family by email, phone and text.

 

I think it's a generational thing - I do still get personal mail occasionally.

 

My daughter recently arranged for a letter to be sent to her father's house (for convenience - I was going to be away) - knowing him, and his insatiable curiosity, she had it addressed c/o her brother, who lives in the flat above. Her father saw the letter on the hall table, and opened it. It had the details of her student grant, our financial contribution, etc. She doesn't live with him, he contributes nothing to her upkeep, and she was livid that he'd done that - I wasn't surprised, of course, because that's what he always did with me. That's probably why I feel so strongly.

[Kathyw]

I can see why your daughter was angry, I would have been too.

[nouggatti]

my other half could care less, he doesnt sort anything that comes in the post anyway, he just hands it to me

 

 

Same here, but both of us open each others post all of the time with each other's permission, I've no problem with it, OH does tend to ask if I want him too, given that he works nights he's in when the post arrives, whilst I am at work, and when I travelled with work, it would at times have been up to a week before I got my post, so his opening it was practical.

 

If he had a problem with me opening his mail I'd not.