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Adoption


greyhound pal

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This is a sensitive subject so apologies to anyone who feels I'm being incredibly insensitive :GroupHug:

 

Following on from the abortion thread, do you think, other than as a result of rape or young teen pregnancy, that voluntarily giving up a baby for adoption these days is ever the 'right' thing to do?

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choosing adoption is never easy and it takes time to put into place. I think its a very brave lady who can carry a baby for 9 months and then let the baby go. I would have hated to ever be in that position, I dont know whether I would have been strong enough to do it

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Totally Sam.

 

I think a lot of people think this is something that happened in the past - shame of unmarried mums and pressure from her parents so to to bring shame on the family. But its not as uncommon these days as you would think.

 

I agree that its such a brave decision and I doubt I'd be selfless enough to do it.

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Okay. Can I throw something else in? What if a woman did it on more than one or two occasions. Almost like a form of contraception in a way. Does that change your thoughts?

 

Then you could look at her as a surragate, there are so many childless couples that are desperate for a child to love and bring up as their own but there is a shortage af babies thankfully as the stigma of being a unmarried mum isnt what it was

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But isn't a surrogate someone who plans ahead instead of someone who falls pregnant by one night stand and hands the baby over to social services at birth so that an unknown couple can adopt?

 

But I think I'm looking at it a different way now you've said that - thanks!

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Usually it is.

 

Nothing can be compared to the joy on a couples face that have gone through years of trying for a child when they are finally handed "their" child, a child is such a gift and even more precious to someone who never thought their dream would ever come true :flowers:

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choosing adoption is never easy and it takes time to put into place. I think its a very brave lady who can carry a baby for 9 months and then let the baby go. I would have hated to ever be in that position, I dont know whether I would have been strong enough to do it

This is what I like to try and think about my birth mum, I will always be thankful that she chose to give me a chance of life and was selfless enough to give me up, I have fantastic parents and love them to pieces, I think my brother feels the same way too :)

 

If I had been 17 and pregnant I would have been terrified and definitely not grown up enough to look after another human being so I think it is a brave choice to make :)

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Many of you know I was adopted as a baby, but it has left me with so much 'baggage' that I don't believe I would have had to deal with if I had been raised by my birth family, so for me, adoption is never the right thing, unless the birth mother maintains contact. For me, abortion is better than being allowed to come into this world just to satisfy a couple who can't come to terms with not being able to have what they want.

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Many of you know I was adopted as a baby, but it has left me with so much 'baggage' that I don't believe I would have had to deal with if I had been raised by my birth family, so for me, adoption is never the right thing, unless the birth mother maintains contact. For me, abortion is better than being allowed to come into this world just to satisfy a couple who can't come to terms with not being able to have what they want.

 

I'm really sorry to hear you have had such a bad experience (sorry that's not worded very well :flowers: ) and I am sure you are not alone. However, I am sure there are people who have had much better lives from being adopted than they would have had if they had remained in the birth family.

 

Also there are plenty of people left with "baggage" who were raised by their birth families. Being raised by your birth family doesn't guarantee a happy childhood/rest of life, or lack of baggage, sadly.

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