Adults Scared To Interact With Children

[ReikiAnge]

Just reading this:

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7474692.stm

 

and I do think some people, men especially, are more reluctant to interact with children (that aren't their own or a close relatives) now than they once would have been. Although I can remember an incident at least 14 yrs ago where I was with a male relative and found a young girl lost in a busy town one morning. I walked after her for a while to be sure she was lost and then, after she'd walked past goodness knows how many people who completely ignored her, I stopped her, checked she was lost, retraced her steps, waited and then thankfully reunited her with her mother and even younger sister. The relative I was with said he wouldn't have stopped if it had just been him because he'd have worried what he might be accused of

 

Maybe I have a skewed view from the media, but it seems to me that pretty much every week at the moment we hear of a child (or more) being killed - and yet this is by one or both parents, or a close relative, not a relative stranger. I wonder how many children are far more at risk of being hurt by someone close to them than a stranger?

 

Have to say, faced by a child in need of help (as before), if I could help, I would, the thought of what someone might think wouldn't even cross my mind at the time, but maybe it's easier for me because I'm an inoffensive-looking woman and no-one feels threatened by me

 

Sorry, bit deep and meaningful for this time of day.

[yena]

I always check if I think a child is lost, OH stays in the back ground. My Son who's been working at Homebase, said loads of children lose their parents, he takes them to the customer reception, or if they won't go just leaves them there and lets somebody know. He did say, he won't touch them though.

It's a sad world we live in, where people are so afraid to help.

[Rileyroo]

Just reading this:

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7474692.stm

 

 

 

Maybe I have a skewed view from the media, but it seems to me that pretty much every week at the moment we hear of a child (or more) being killed - and yet this is by one or both parents, or a close relative, not a relative stranger. I wonder how many children are far more at risk of being hurt by someone close to them than a stranger?

 

To answer that point specifically, children are at no greater risk now than they were in 1970s (when we all played outside all day and were pretty much free to roam etc) of being harmed by a stranger. The biggest danger is, as you rightly suggest, being harmed by a relative or a friend of the parents. The difference now is the media reporting of the abductions etc - we hear about them, they're sensationalised and (in my opinion) they're harming the upbringing and development of children whose parents are too damn scared to let them out of their sight.

[Peachy]

I think there's a lot of truth in that, sadly. Especially for men.

 

I was just thinking about how many men I know that would go up to a child who appeared to be lost. I think a few would help. For example, my brother is a police officer and a Dad so I think he'd help because he's probably done it dozens of times as part of his job.

 

There are others that I'm not sure would help but not because they don't care but because of being aware of the 'implications'. Its very sad.

[JACKYSIAN]

I was talking to a fella at my stables the other day, he said he was glad that I'd come there with Kane because he'd always avoided going riding with the young girls because he didn't feel it was appropriate!!! (There is only me and a couple of other older ladys but they don't ride much).

 

He's a 60+ fella who's grand daughter is with him alot of the time but he still didn't feel right riding out with the girls, I find that horribly sad! He shares a common hobby with them and can't share in the fun.

[laura g]

absolutely. i remember peter coming home from the park quite upset - with himself. he'd taken the kids to play and another little girl had fallen off the swing - bashed her knww, bawling her eyes out. His first though, rather than runnign to help / comfort was what him approaching the girl could have looked like to others.

 

He actually walked to a group of women further in the park and asked them to come help.

 

it hadnt helped that only a few weeks before, he'd been helping at the school. walked into the classroom, they must have been 5 or 6 at the time. Two children immediately started screaming and crying - it's not that they had ever been abused by a man, just from a female only house and never interacted with one!

[murtle]

Media media media the constant reporting and over reporting lies at the door of the media....in my opinion they should be held accountable for the scares that they instigate and then continue to fuel

[kittycat]

I remember being quite young when out with my Dad in the local town at a busy market and he found a little girl lost and crying and we was taking her to the police station which wasn't far and the Mother came screaming up accusing him of all sorts he never did that again he always reported it to someone else.

 

I don't think it is just restricted to men I won't interact with children, not even at work, for fear of being accused of something. If a child is lost at work, I ask them to stand at the front desk and pass it on to a manager, even if we have a group of children being a nuisence I won't deal with it, pass it straight on to Supervisors.

[ClazUK]

I do think some people, men especially, are more reluctant to interact with children (that aren't their own or a close relatives) now than they once would have been.

 

I had this very conversation with my Dad a year or so ago. He even feels it affects relationship within families, because the media/PC brigade are so quick to misinterpret something innocent as something dodgy.

 

When I was a kid we wrestled and tickled each other and thought nothing of it. I'm sure someone would tut at that now, even if it *was* a brother or father

[blackmagic]

I used to work beside a couple who were officers in ATC.

 

After an event in a hall, the lady found a young lad crying in the carpark. He had 'lost' his dad and the car park was dark.

 

She talked to the boy to reassure him and took him back into the hall, where they found his dad.

 

What upset her so much was that, as a mother herself, she wanted to give the boy a cuddle and take his hand, but that was not allowed to touch him.

 

They have been instructed that they must not touch the children.

 

I think that is very sad.

 

 

 

A few weeks ago I was in a large store when a man came walking through the store with a small girl of about three years old on his shoulders. He was saying to her 'see if you can see your mummy'

 

A short while later mummy and daughter were reunited.

 

The man had found the little girl at the front door of the shop.

 

The mother was very grateful, but I thought what a risk he took doing that.

[Spins4me]

This is a slightly different situation. We were at the beach a couple of weeks ago and OH wanted to photograph an unusual catamaran that was just setting sail. There were two kids in swimming costumes playing just at the edge of the water who would have been in the shot and because they were there he decided not to take the photo. He said, "I feel funny about people thinking I'm photographing their kids."

 

Strange old world we're living in at the moment.

[Tisaann]

Years ago i worked in a linen/furniture shop and while the mum was looking around I seemed to have become the 'babysitter' to the wandering toddler. That was ok and I didn't mind but when the little 'un climbed onto a recliner chair and mentioned (and I can't remember the reason why) her knicknocks I beat a hasty retreat

[BilRed]

Things are increasing been said these days about protective parents who don't allow their kids out to play etc these days but I can really understand where they are coming from. It's all very well to say 'stranger danger' has not increased since the 70's but it does happen and even if it was only one a year, the idea that the one a year might be your child and what they may go through before they are killed must be unbearably terrifying. Ignoring the problem with roads, how many of us here would allow our dogs to run loose if we could? I wouldn't, I would be too frightened of what might happen to them.

[cycas]

Well yes, but dogs are dogs. We don't expect dogs to handle problems intelligently, they require a lot less stimulation, are happy to sleep most of the time and will never need to grow up and live independently. And even then, we would like them to be able to encounter strangers and interact with them sensibly.

 

At some point, most children are going to have to leave home and cope with all sorts of dangers. They are highly intelligent problemsolving animals, and if you leave it till they are 18 years old before they start encountering dangers, then surely that is much more of a risk.

 

And that's assuming that allowing them out to meet people and start learning how to make their own lives is the dangerous bit: in fact, it's much more likely that they will be in peril from their own relatives.

 

I have no children, but if I did, I would want them to be confident enough about talking to people outside my family that they would be able to turn to a stranger for help if they needed it, while, of course, also being aware of 'stranger danger' and not taking silly risks.

 

And it's not as though a family is a safe, eternally protective unit anyway. My father died when I was 15. Luckily for me, my mother is still around, but I can just imagine the stress on a child who has never spent time with any stranger if he was orphaned at the age of 10. Dogs just don't get that sort of problem.

[Rileyroo]

Things are increasing been said these days about protective parents who don't allow their kids out to play etc these days but I can really understand where they are coming from. It's all very well to say 'stranger danger' has not increased since the 70's but it does happen and even if it was only one a year, the idea that the one a year might be your child and what they may go through before they are killed must be unbearably terrifying. Ignoring the problem with roads, how many of us here would allow our dogs to run loose if we could? I wouldn't, I would be too frightened of what might happen to them.