The Mccanns

[kimthecat]

None of us know, and hopefully never will know, how it feels to have a small child go missing in such circumstances. We don't know how we'd react. Maybe her parents find it easier to throw themselves into an international campaign to find Madeleine and other missing children than face the horrifying fact she might be dead. We all deal with grief in different ways and I just think that by doing what they have done, putting themselves in the public eye, staying in Portugal, sending their children to creche etc they've put their real lives on hold because it's easier to do that than return to normality because the chances are their normality will never ever be the same again.

 

Good post.

I only know what I've read in the press and I don't know what the correct facts are but I keep reading different accounts.

I think they were wrong to leave their children and the agony and the guilt they feel must be unbearable. They need to keep up press interest so that Maddie is in people's minds and keep the chance of her being found alive.going. I don't blame them for doing this.

I agree that if this happened to a family of a different class or one parent family the press would be more hostile and suspicious.

Alison

[Ian]

I think for me Alison you provided many of your own answers here if you think about it, ie

 

You lock Sol in the car - he's on a forecourt which are generally full of other motorists too.

 

You don't leave Sol in a room unwatched or without being locked in. It's claimed somewhere here the McCanns door was unlocked

 

We all know our own children and pets and what's right/wrong for them - I think most parents would realise that you don't leave a three year old alone whilst you go out for a meal - not just because a stranger may snatch them but because they can become ill, stick fingers in electric sockets, eat / drink things they shouldn't etc etc - at least some of which a dog can't do.

 

I don't know the complex but given that it was believed Maddie had been snatched with no one hearing or seeing that happen the place clearly wasn't "sufficiently quiet that any untoward sound could be heard" and there would appear to have been "other access to the place" or this window wouldn't have been considered.

 

Clearly neither Maddie's parents or anyone else had their eyes on her, or took the responsibility you describe - or they'd have been over there to at least try and fight off any abductor.

 

 

You wouldn't leave Sol in these circumstances - though the authorities would not bat an eyelid if you did. If on the other hand you tried it with a child over here they would very quickly be calling on you and nobody would ever convince me that's anything other than entirely correct.

[Alison]

I think for me Alison you provided many of your own answers here if you think about it, ie

 

You lock Sol in the car - he's on a forecourt which are generally full of other motorists too.

I think that part of the point I was trying to make is that safety and danger are extremely subjective concepts. I have a friend with a lurcher who is utterly convinced that if she left her alone in the car for 3 minutes, she'd be pinched by pikeys for hare coursing. On the other hand, she lives in what I deem to be a less than salubrious area (it has to be said that I regard anywhere that's not a pretty village out in the sticks as less than salubrious which I appreciate is both snobby and excessive), yet rather than leave her dog in the car, she leaves her at home. As friends we agree to disagree but who is right? I think her lurcher is in more danger being left at home, she thinks I'm nuts for leaving Sol in the car.

 

Playing devil's advocate though and slightly off topic, you say that a forecourt would generally be full of other motorists. Could we be certain in this day and age that any of them would make a move to prevent a miscreant from going about his purpose? It comes down to the human instinct for "looking after number one" again, doesn't it? I know I'd wade in but Darby and Joan sitting in their Moggie Minor might (not unreasonably) feel less inclined to take action.

 

And ooh, get you Matron - "many of your own answers here if you think about it" indeed! You're not a headmaster in real life by any chance are you Ian?

 

It's claimed somewhere here the McCanns door was unlocked

So much does seem to be speculation, which is why I refuse to judge them. I will only condemn them (or otherwise) for the actions which may have led to Maddie's disappearance when I'm certain that I have all the facts. "It is claimed somewhere here" isn't good enough evidence for me to condemn someone on.

 

I don't know the complex but given that it was believed Maddie had been snatched with no one hearing or seeing that happen the place clearly wasn't "sufficiently quiet that any untoward sound could be heard" and there would appear to have been "other access to the place" or this window wouldn't have been considered.

Ditto my response to your previous quote - this is all speculation. "Given that it was believed" in no way squares with "the place clearly wasn't.........."

 

As for "or this window wouldn't have been considered", when I take Sol to parties and insist that the front door is locked, this is to prevent accidents and deter opportunist intruders. If on the other hand a professional burglar had targeted the house and decided to force the front door or window, he/she would do just that. As you might have noticed, I'm a bit OTT where Sol's safety is concerned yet wouldn't consider a locked window as other access to the place. An unlocked side gate, for example, yes, but not a window.

 

We all know our own children and pets and what's right/wrong for them

I think most parents would realise that you don't leave a three year old alone whilst you go out for a meal - not just because a stranger may snatch them but because they can become ill, stick fingers in electric sockets, eat / drink things they shouldn't etc etc - at least some of which a dog can't do.

Point taken. I have no experience of small children whatsoever and little contact with them (I avoid it at all costs if truth be told because they get on my nerves) and wouldn't have considered issues like sickness and electrocution. Again though, do we know if Maddie and her siblings were in high-sided escape-proof cots? If they were, they certainly couldn't have been out and about poking their fingers in sockets.

 

"Clearly neither Maddie's parents or anyone else had their eyes on her, or took the responsibility you describe - or they'd have been over there to at least try and fight off any abductor." [sorry, exceeded my quotes]

 

I'm struggling with the thought of actually imagining being in the room with a potential abductor. I'm not a substantial woman to say the least and wouldn't stand a chance against a hefty criminal. I'd give it a go, definitely, but would that actually make things worse? I'd be able to raise a hell of a racket and bring others running to assist but what if the man/woman had a knife or gun and decided to use it on me immediately without waiting to take the chance of me doing just that? If it happened to be Maddie's mum or one of the other women in the party on shift at the time, she could have ended up dead, as could a man I suppose if the abductor was armed. There's the possibility of Maddie and the other children having been killed too if the would-be abductor panicked (either at an alarm being raised or the thought of it)

 

I do take on board what you say about nobody having their eyes on her and would add ears to that. Seriously, I would know that Sol had changed sleeping position just from the quiet jingle of his ID and microchip tags and would never put us in a situation where that wouldn't be possible.

 

"You wouldn't leave Sol in these circumstances - though the authorities would not bat an eyelid if you did. If on the other hand you tried it with a child over here they would very quickly be calling on you and nobody would ever convince me that's anything other than entirely correct. "

 

I would draw your attention to numerous notorious Social Services blunders over recent years. Victoria Climbie springs instantly to mind. Unfortunately I'm not convinced that the authorities would be calling on me quickly and this is in no way having a dig at Social Services - I have friends in the profession and know how heartbreaking it is for them when they can't do the job as they'd wish, sometimes for reasons of bureaucracy and lack of communication between the various authorities, sometimes as a consequence of limited funds.

 

Using the Sol analogy yet again, I just can't help but think: "there but by the grace of God go I" and would reiterate my previous points concerning the safety/freedom/fun balance. I could well get back from one of our woodland forays or swimming excursions and be posting here that he'd sustained a badly cut paw or been accidentally shot. Me, the OTT hound safety woman who takes every step imaginable to prevent such an occurrence, but danger is quite simply everywhere for all of us, all the time. If he cut his foot on a tin stupidly discarded by some twonk in the water where he goes swimming, would I be condemned for having let him swim in the first place? I know that I'd feel guilty enough and blame myself forever, despite having taken every precaution but for others to then heap opprobrium upon me............

[mooandboo]

I have to say thet Cheryl's, Allie's and Alison's posts have voiced most of my thoughts .

 

I only need to add that if it were Ceri in this situaton I wouldn't give a damn what others thought - I would do everything and anything I could to find him and I know that given my state of mind in such circumstances I would probably make mistakes, seen later with the value of hindsight, I would possibly seem cold and controlled at times in my determination, psychotic and deranged at others. I can imagine that I would run the whole gamut of emotions and behaviours, time and again, some fitting others' opinions, others not but I wouldn't care, I would do whatever I thought best at the time.

 

I personally wouldn't have left Ceri but that doesn't mean that he is forever safe and I have been criticised for being overprotective - so be it - I can only do what I feel is right within my circumstances and to be honest if I tried to satisfy every opinion, both Ceri and I would be a basket case by now. None of that would matter if he went missing my sole concern would be to find him using every means available to me.

 

It's so easy to voice opinions but those of us who do will never, ever understand what each family with a missing child is going through - not even others who've missing children of their own - every situation is different, every family's response their own.

 

My only wish is that Maddie along with every other missing child is returned safely to their rightful place as soon as possible.

[JoC]

I hope that if I ever make an error in judgement which leads to tragedy, that I'm visibly distraught enough to make everybody happy while keeping my wits about me so I don't behave in an 'abnormal' way.

 

I think it's enough that we can tell them how they should have raised their children, without telling them how they should cope and grieve for their loss. It's a case of locking teh stable door after the horse has bolted. I don't think they need to be told that they shouldn've have left her now, I'd guess they figured it out.

 

If the only way they can get through this is to shut themselves down emotionally and just go through the motions on autopilot, so be it. Perhaps they can't show the tiniest bit of emotion, because if they did they woudln't be able to stop? Have you ever been on the verge of tears, but manage to hold it together until someone asks if you're ok or gives you a hug? You can't always let emotion out in drips, it comes in floods or not at all.

 

I really feel for them, they have enough to deal with without whispers and rumours

[Mrs Mop]

I don't think they need to be told that they shouldn've have left her now, I'd guess they figured it out.

 

they have already admitted this but because they could see were they children were, they didn't think they were at risk.

[Katiebob]

I don't suspect the parents at all - but I could be wrong because I wasn't there and I don't know.

[Sheplover]

Kate McCann has been formally questioned as witnesses today with a Portugese lawyer, they are about to release a statement

[Happylittlegreensquirrel]

If my daughter was missing I would do what ever I thought it took to try and find her regardless of why she was missing or if there had been any parental neglect on my part, in fact if I believed that I had neglected her I would probably be driven by guilt as well as grief

[DanishPastry]

Kate McCann has been formally questioned as witnesses today with a Portugese lawyer, they are about to release a statement

they said on the news this morning that she was questioned as a witness, not a suspect.

[KathyM]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6982969.stm

 

I've not shared my suspicions before because they were completely irrational without facts to back them up, but I've been expecting this from day one.

[cheryl33]

for those who think her parents were invovled, what do you think they did to her?

[KathyM]

I don't "think" anything, I have had suspicions about the parents from day one - maybe because I'm a realist (and maybe a pessimist), and maybe because we've all seen parents who have said their child has been abducted when they haven't been (Susan Smith for example). I have no theory on what happened to Madeleine, what I have had is a health dose of skepticism over the parents (and their friends) story, which changes daily it seems. I wouldn't like to say more than that because I don't have a theory on what happened to her, and wouldn't want to speculate.

[celeste]

On the news this morning that the mum has been named as a suspect by the police, apparantly they now have forensic evidence to suspect her.

[DanishPastry]

sorry for my earlier post then, your news must be given different details than ours.