Rumpole Posted May 20, 2007 Report Share Posted May 20, 2007 On friday we lost buzzy bee my immediate reaction was to do what i always do (take him to be cremated myself ) my vet knows this but assumed it was because i use the other crematorium and not the one they use. so the head nurse rang me back to say its okay weve changed places and we can arrange for him to be collected "umm" i said "they are coming this morning" she said "umm" again "we wont put him in the freezer" she said "umm" "and weve told them hes one of yours" "umm" "and they said he must stay in his vet bed because you dont do bags, and travel in the front" "okay" i said Am i odd i mean its hardly like i go to the crematorium every day tho probably more than most as i tend to have bull breed rtas that are unclaimed cremated there and have the same standards for them as my own, but the family who run the place remember my little foibles is that because they are sensitive to peoples needs or because secretly when im not there they refer to me as that mad woman do any of the rest of you have a set way of dealing with death and beyond for your animals or is it really just me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanishPastry Posted May 20, 2007 Report Share Posted May 20, 2007 I have never yet had a pet of my own pts, but I think it is wonderful that they remember your special wishes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trallwm farm Posted May 20, 2007 Report Share Posted May 20, 2007 You have given the reason away by saying how people dont claim thier dogs ashes. I would imagine just like in rescue people are affected by real grief and the love of a little person because they can identify with you and how they would feel. I would imagine they are being respectful to you not in any way critisisng Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murtle Posted May 20, 2007 Report Share Posted May 20, 2007 (edited) hugs for you and buzzy bee (no I'm sure we all have stange things. Fortunately I've not lost many animals as I have cats and they live to their later teens earlier 20's (and I'm only 31) I haven't lost many. However as we couldn't bury one of the cats I grew up with straight away when was pts, she had to sit (curled up in a box) in my mums flower room until the next day when we could bury her. Couldn't leave her any where else as she had to be in a "nice" place x x Edited May 20, 2007 by murtle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smirnoff Posted May 20, 2007 Report Share Posted May 20, 2007 I do let my vet sort out all of the crematorium stuff for me. Although I wouldn't ever treat a body with anything less than total respect I do firmly believe that, once the spirit has gone, all that's left is a shell. I have been to see a couple of relatives at the chapel of rest and realised that, although they looked very peaceful, it just wasn't them any more. As long as I'm with my animals as they pass over whenever possible and can keep talking to them until they've gone, then I'm happy that my vet will treat them with dignity. I always have them cremated individually and get the ashes back to bury in the garden. The first time I had a cremation (because it was going to get difficult to find anywhere in the garden where you could put a new plant without disturbing someone ) I intended to scatter Meg at the little stream in the woods nearby. But when it came to it I just stood there with the little box in my hand and my coat on and realised I couldn't "throw her away". So her ashes are in the garden - her daughter is with her now too. For some reason I didn't get my son's ashes back when he'd passed away. He's at the crematorium. Don't know why, but that felt right at the time. I did have direct dealings with our local crematorium when a friend's cat passed away (she was staying with us with her 5 cats while she went through a crisis and sadly her littlest cat fell into my flooded inspection pit and drowned - the garage door had been left open by accident - it was so awful). The people at the crematorium were absolutely lovely. They stayed open late so that we could bring her, they gave us extra blankets to wrap her in (the ones we used were wet through by then) they left us on our own until we were ready to hand her over and they made sure that they had all the right details. She came back in a little urn with her name on. I'm sure the people who run these places are sensitive to the needs we each have. We all do things in the way that makes us comfortable at the time so we can get through it as best we can. I'm sure they're not criticising - and I'm also sure they will have had dafter requests than yours. The way you see your little ones off sounds so lovely, dignified and peaceful. Diane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murtle Posted May 20, 2007 Report Share Posted May 20, 2007 On friday we lost buzzy bee my immediate reaction was to do what i always do (take him to be cremated myself ) my vet knows this but assumed it was because i use the other crematorium and not the one they use.so the head nurse rang me back to say its okay weve changed places and we can arrange for him to be collected "umm" i said "they are coming this morning" she said "umm" again "we wont put him in the freezer" she said "umm" "and weve told them hes one of yours" "umm" "and they said he must stay in his vet bed because you dont do bags, and travel in the front" "okay" i said Am i odd i mean its hardly like i go to the crematorium every day tho probably more than most as i tend to have bull breed rtas that are unclaimed cremated there and have the same standards for them as my own, but the family who run the place remember my little foibles is that because they are sensitive to peoples needs or because secretly when im not there they refer to me as that mad woman do any of the rest of you have a set way of dealing with death and beyond for your animals or is it really just me Good customer service, obviously I doubt they want you having animals that die, but cause you do then they should remember what you like/don't like, sounds like they are very good at what they do and remember things so you don't have to keep telling them, cause that would just be annoying. x x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ranirottie Posted May 20, 2007 Report Share Posted May 20, 2007 I think they sound very caring,which seems to be rare these days. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Posted May 20, 2007 Report Share Posted May 20, 2007 (edited) Melf When Sheba died back when I was a teenager I wasn't there and had no say in what happened to her. I have no idea what happened to her body - though I would imagine she was cremated and the ashes simpy disposed of When Jo's time came on the 21st November 2006 I knew that I wanted to be with her when she went. I didnt have her cremated, wouldn't let the vets nurse help carry her out, I wanted to take her out of there myself and bring her home that one last time - Jo, Tara and I going home just as it had always been. I insisted on digging her a grave, giving her a decent burial along with an approriate musical tribute and even dragged along my parents and sister because I didnt want her passing to go unmarked. I guess I've been lucky when it comes to bereavement, Jo was the first loved one I've lost since Sheba and my nana died when I was a child but I think most peoples passing would have troubled me less than Jo's did. Digging that grave proved hard in more ways than one. I was therefore asked whether I'd still want to bury Tara this way having done it. I hope it will be some years before I lose another but having done this for Jo ther is no doubt in my mind that when the time does come I will want her and now Joyce to leave us with that same level of respect. So in short, I don't know you, your location or the crematorium you refer to but from my own experience and what you've said I would think that both your vet and the crematorium were trying to be sensitive and empathic rather than at any point mocking you. It's a credit to you and them that each cares so much. Rest peacefully Buzzy Bee Edited May 20, 2007 by Ian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacobean Posted May 20, 2007 Report Share Posted May 20, 2007 They are very good to remember your wishes and to deal with your lost ones so sensitively. However it sounds as though they get quite a few from you so it's probably easy for them to remember. They won't think you're mad. They are probably heartened to know you care. To be honest I didn't know you had a choice when pets are cremated. I thought the vet contacted the local crem and you could go collect the ashes when they're ready from the surgery. That's what I've always done and we have never had any suggestions of other methods. Maybe I should contact the crem and ask for the next time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
our little godsend Posted May 20, 2007 Report Share Posted May 20, 2007 How lovely that your vet considered your feelings and your wishes without you having to tell them In answer to your thread title, yes, I have a particular way with my bridge babies which some people may think odd Spot, Stripe and Patch were all cremated and we have them home here with us in their caskets I still have the original cardboard boxes that their caskets were placed in for when we collected them However, despite moving a few times, I cannot bear to pack their caskets in the boxes When we didn't have a home for a few weeks (this was prior to losing Patch), I got my brother to look after Spot and Stripe's caskets in his glass cabinet until we got ourselves a new home. They were not allowed to be put in his cupboard, they had to be behind the glass! When we move again in a few weeks time, all 3 caskets will be together in a bag on my lap until we move to our new home. I *must* have them in my possession, to take care of them I dont care what else gets smashed, broken or lost - my babies have to be safe! I have to keep all 3 caskets on display and if I get any visitors to my home, even though I introduce Stitch and Emma, I also introduce Spot, Stripe and Patch as our babies that are no longer with us in body, but very very much with us in spirit I keep pictures on the wall above their caskets. I suspect people think i'm odd, but I don't care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rumpole Posted May 20, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 20, 2007 (edited) They are very good to remember your wishes and to deal with your lost ones so sensitively. However it sounds as though they get quite a few from you so it's probably easy for them to remember. They won't think you're mad. They are probably heartened to know you care. To be honest I didn't know you had a choice when pets are cremated. I thought the vet contacted the local crem and you could go collect the ashes when they're ready from the surgery. That's what I've always done and we have never had any suggestions of other methods. Maybe I should contact the crem and ask for the next time. yes you do have a choice we have always if had to have pts taken our dogs and ferrets too for that matter straight from the vets to the crematorium i ring them as soon as i know and the dog is taken with his/her blanket we then wait whilst the crematon takes place where possible or go off to find a suitable box/casket then bring them back home as i have a problem leaving them. the crem once even delivered one of my much loved bulldogs home the same day when they were unable to cremate her immediately as shed never spent a night away from home once home we keep the ashes in their caskets the intention being that when its my turn we will be mixed together and then scattered i cant bring myself to scatter them in the garden in case i move or in a favourite walking place in case someone comes along at a later date and builds a housing estate or something there just re read that and combined with my other post i really am either odd or i think too much Edited May 20, 2007 by M.E.L.F. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ziltha Posted May 20, 2007 Report Share Posted May 20, 2007 Sorry for your loss. It's good that people respect your wishes. Everyone has their own way of doing things that is part of the grieving process. We have had our dogs pts at home lying in their favourite spot, their bed or the rug in front of the fire. They're then wrapped in their favourite blanket and buried in our garden. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supafrisk Posted May 20, 2007 Report Share Posted May 20, 2007 (edited) My mum always insists on burying hers in the back garden, I don't think she trusts the vets or the crem not to mix them up. Luckily she's got a built up bit separate in the back garden (which is rather large) to accomodate them, and has Ricky, Butch, Ben, Patch, Fluffy cat, Patch1, Oscar and several rabbits in there. In addition she also has Gemma and Harry (who were cremated) in caskets in the laundry room (horses) and they both had to travel 'home' on the front set of the car. I think another reason Mum buries the smaller animals at home is because she believes that the other animals should 'see' so they know what's happened. yes you do have a choice we have always if had to have pts taken our dogs and ferrets too for that matter straight from the vets to the crematorium i ring them as soon as i know and the dog is taken with his/her blanket we then wait whilst the crematon takes place where possible or go off to find a suitable box/casket then bring them back home as i have a problem leaving them. the crem once even delivered one of my much loved bulldogs home the same day when they were unable to cremate her immediately as shed never spent a night away from home once home we keep the ashes in their caskets the intention being that when its my turn we will be mixed together and then scattered i cant bring myself to scatter them in the garden in case i move or in a favourite walking place in case someone comes along at a later date and builds a housing estate or something there just re read that and combined with my other post i really am either odd or i think too much I understand totally where you are coming from - I have always worried about scattering ashes only for something awful to be built on top. Edited May 20, 2007 by supafrisk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacobean Posted May 20, 2007 Report Share Posted May 20, 2007 Well if you're odd I am too. I have my 3 in their wooden boxes together. When I go they go with me. I talk to them all the time and tell them I love them as I did do when I could see them. I believe they are still around in spirit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dollyamber Posted May 20, 2007 Report Share Posted May 20, 2007 And I am odder than an odd thing. Following our first loss where we simply took our dog, who had attacked our young grandchild, to one of our previous vets and simply left him (have never ever got over this or forgiven ourselves) we have always had our friends cremated and their ashes returned in a casket. With the exception of one cat, who simply vanished off the face of the earth, we have all of ours still at home and until recently lying at the fireside. Part of me would like to get a large casket and put them all back together but another part says leave them as individual as they were when they were alive. I totally see where OP is coming from with all the fine details that together must make a wonderful service. It must be very reassuring to have such a dedicated team dealing with your own personal and individual needs at such a special time. That said, for a range of reasons, I trust all arrangements at times like this to my wonderful vet and her team. The commitment she continues to show towards all our animals whilst never forgetting that people are involved too is testament to the popularity of her practice. Despite a round trip of over 120 miles I still use the same vet I have always used for all but emergency treatment. They are so caring I simply cannot believe that my animals get anything other than exactly the same level of care ater life as they did during it. I think we all have our little foibles when it comes to dealing any form of death - Long may it continue - It is what makes us individuals.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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