chrisjd Posted December 16, 2006 Report Share Posted December 16, 2006 (edited) I am currently seeing someone who last weekend called me in the early hours as she had taken 2 Es and was feeling unwell/strange and couldnt get home. So I went to pick her up. The next day she said she would never do it again. Last night I met up with her and she had taken another. I was furious with her as I am very against drugs. Although I smoke and drink now and again, I hate drugs and wont touch them. I dont want to see her get hurt/unwell due to them. Can I persuade her not to continue or should I leave her to it!? Edited December 16, 2006 by chrisjd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimthecat Posted December 16, 2006 Report Share Posted December 16, 2006 (edited) I dont know anything about you or your girlfriend or your relationship but if this were me I would be asking myself why she is doing this. Do you think there is more to it than just taking recreational drugs for fun? I am and was anti drugs but a long time ago I was involved with someone who was into them and who didn't want to give them up and he drank too. I started to get dragged into his world so I got out for my own good. You could give her all the info about the dangers and tell her you care for her and worry about her. She must genuinely want to stop taking drugs or she won't succeed, you're not responsible for her. Good luck with this, she's lucky to have someone who cares. Alison edited for spelling Edited December 16, 2006 by kimthecat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard (The Sane) Posted December 16, 2006 Report Share Posted December 16, 2006 Also, if you get mad etc with her then that is definitly the worse way to persuade her to stop. All it will do is stop her telling you/talking to you about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mooandboo Posted December 16, 2006 Report Share Posted December 16, 2006 Sounds hard but I would leave her to it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotslass Posted December 16, 2006 Report Share Posted December 16, 2006 Sounds hard but I would leave her to it I agree. You can't stop her doing it and you could get sucked into a very unpleasant situation, long-term. Get out now, while you can. Liz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted December 16, 2006 Report Share Posted December 16, 2006 I agree. You can't stop her doing it and you could get sucked into a very unpleasant situation, long-term. Get out now, while you can. Liz. Yup. She told you she wouldn't do it again, she then did it again. Great basis for a relationship, isn't it? If there's one thing I've learnt recently it's that honesty and trust are paramount. Walk away and leave her to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Owlish Posted December 16, 2006 Report Share Posted December 16, 2006 Depends how much you want to be with her really. To see things in perspective, a couple of e-tabs doesn't make her a junkie, and it is very much the norm for large groups of people. But I wouldn't want to date someone whose idea of fun was taking tabs and all the related stuff all the time, so that's the decision you need to make. And I totally second Richard - don't nag. Perhaps an honest conversation about how you both feel. If she likes you more than a night out clubbing, she'll limit it to when you're not there. If she doesn't, then there's your answer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bebe Posted December 16, 2006 Report Share Posted December 16, 2006 Chris, you,ll never be able to stop her. All that will happen is she,ll grow more secretive about it, if you get annoyed with her. She wont stop untill she,s ready, and that could be years down the road yet. She took it again even after having a bit of a scare last weekend, she,s addicted. There,ll be lots more nights like that, when she feels "funny" and wants you to help her, before you know it your dragged into her world of cycles with drugs, rescuing, enabling and listening to her promises over and over, is that what you want from a relationship? You,ll end up hurting and suffering even more than she will, because you wont have the "high" times that she will, inbetween the lows. It might sound harsh, but you need to walk away and leave her. If you are as important to her as partying and dropping Es, she,ll stop and come after you. But the euphoria she gets when taking Es will probably be too amazing to her, you wouldnt be able to compete, to be honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merledogs Posted December 16, 2006 Report Share Posted December 16, 2006 Leave her to it. Harsh as that may sound, only she can get herself off drugs, you can't make her do it, no matter how much she thinks of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cockergirl Posted December 16, 2006 Report Share Posted December 16, 2006 Have to agree with the 'leave her to it' opinions... Drugs are bad news full stop and you don't want to get mixed up in that lifestyle. No good can come of it.. she's lied to you once already, not a great basis for an adult relationship and do you want to be constantly having to rescue her from the dodgy situations she gets herself into because of drugs?? Sadly, you can't save people from themselves Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fee4 Posted December 16, 2006 Report Share Posted December 16, 2006 people make choices. her to do drugs you not to... the question is are you prepared to live with her choice-whatever it may be?-if not ...now is the time to say so & move on fee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSDFan Posted December 16, 2006 Report Share Posted December 16, 2006 She's an adult and so are you. What she does with her life is her choice, what you do with yours is your choice. Decide whether you can accept what she chooses to do with her life and body, if not move on. Popping a couple of E's now and then doesn't make her a junkie or a bad person, in time she may grow out of taking them and/or grow away from the people she is with when she takes them. I do agree though that you mustn't nag, the only thing that achieves is to make the person more inclined to carry on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mooandboo Posted December 17, 2006 Report Share Posted December 17, 2006 I am very against drugs. Although I smoke and drink now and again, I hate drugs and wont touch them. Don't compromise, it really isn't worth it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Canis-Equus~ Posted December 17, 2006 Report Share Posted December 17, 2006 Mmm V. relevant issue for me right now. Agree with the others who have said, if you have a mega major go about it, she'll just hide it. Taking an E, taking E's from time to time, does not make her a junkie, any more than you having the occasional drink makes you an alcoholic. You need to have a good think about what you want and what you can handle. If this was a friend of mine id be wanting to know why they wanted to take Ecstasy, who they were getting it from and who they were with when they take it. I personally have a couple of strict rules about class A drugs. Dont take it if you dont know what it is. Dont take it if you dont have a trusted friend who is NOT taking anything with you. Dont take anything and keep it secret from those you are with. Your choice now is, get rid, get out, dont get involved at all. Or... Find out why and offer to babysit, at least THEN you know who shes with (YOU), what shes had, when and you can be there to keep her safe. Thats a big thing to handle, but perhaps if you offer this she wont need to take it. Id guess, and its a wild one not knowing the age of the person, that other people she looks up to or wishes to emulate are taking E as well, or that she is not happy and is looking for something to take the edge off reality for a while. One more thing for you to think on.... Cigarettes and alcohol are drugs, drugs every single bit as damaging and dangerous as ecstasy. Abuse them and you risk your life. Im afraid with having a mother who is currently in hospital long term because of the effects of long term alcohol abuse, i class people who take ANYTHING other than fresh air and food as drug users (note 'users' there is a massive difference in my book between 'user' and 'abuser'!). Em Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul Posted December 17, 2006 Report Share Posted December 17, 2006 I agree in principle that taking a couple of Es doesn't make anyone a junkie but was she using them at a party or rave to help her have a good time or sitting at home and just felt like she needed one? I'd be worried for her if it was the latter and would try and encourage her to talk to a professional about it, as others have said only she can make the decision to stop but some informed advice might just help her make that decision. Maybe she doesn't see it as a problem, how many times have people said never again after too much booze only to get hammered the following weekend? People make decisions about drugs, many use puff or Es without ever getting hooked onto stronger stuff and are quite normal balanced healthy people, I've met thousands of them in my previous job but once the party was over that was it till the next weekend. How many people end up in A+E due to dodgy or too many Es and how many end up there due to excess alcohol? Now take a typical Saturday night at a rave with a thousand people at it, no alcohol but loads of Es, compare that to a pub load of pissed drinkers, have a look at where all the violence is and decide which is the worst drug? I don't mean to sound like I'm pro drugs BTW because I'm not but I have been around a lot of them since the mid 80s and have seen how many thousands of people use them as an alternative to alcohol with no ill effects. I have also seem a few very nasty reactions to dodgy pills and it isn't nice which is one reason I've never taken one but as I've said already I'd be worried if she was home alone and felt like she needed it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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