bebe

Thanks everyone. Lyndsay, you said to remind you about the anxiety program-thingy for Ty? Ive got my very serene head on now, so I want to explain a few things before I go, or I,ll forget and use the wrong words again. I seem to be having a lot of problems putting things into the right words lately and it comes out all bass-ackwards. Raiye, It did seem as if I was snapping at you didnt it? Im sorry. I really wasnt saying it and feeling snappy, I was just typing as I thought, I felt sad and a bit emotional and my choice of words couldve been better. Di, when I said "I dont care if people agree with me or not", I wasnt being sarcastic or arguing with you. I meant I didnt care that people disagreed with me, as in "I wont get upset if views arnt the same as mine", and accept we dont have to all agree, type of thing. Again, I used the wrong phrase, so it wouldve looked like I was basically saying "I dont give a s***, Im right". Maybe I shoudve said I dont mind , not I dont care. It was easy to misread that, and Im sorry. And Jacobean, I used the words "bad tempered cow", I know you didnt say it, I never said you did, and I was being flippant and making a joke of it when I posted that and used the smilies, I was in a better mood by then and tried to be light-hearted, obviously it didnt come across that way, with hindsight I can see why it would look bad. I,ll admit to feeling a bit defensive when you said I keep arguing in front of Ty, because as anyone that comes to the house will testify, Tyra is a very calm and happy little girl in the house, very relaxed and chilled, its only outside she gets scared, and I do put her first, so it stung a bit for you to imply otherwise. But I was genuine when I posted saying I didnt mean to upset you, and Im genuine now when I say Im sorry. I would never throw anyones advice back in their face, not intentionally, god knows Ive needed enough of it over the years I think, like anyone whose passionate about something, I can feel slighted if I think someone is criticizing something that Ive worked very hard at, and I have worked hard with Ty. Its bloody hard having a dog like Tyra a lot of the time, lots of you have experience of that so know what I mean, and sometimes little throw-away remarks can cause a lot of self-doubt. (Just as things Ive written on this thread has been misunderstood, so have the things some of you wrote, we all get misunderstood, or misunderstand others) Thats no excuse for me just typing away and not thinking how it will read to others though, I can be a stupid cow when I try to be Im going to leave Ty in for a few days, maybe even untill the weekend, so she doesnt have to deal with anything alien or scary to her, she,ll let me know when shes ready to brave it Thanks everyone.

Thanks Andrea. Im sorry everyone.

No, please dont feel like that!! I didnt say you "said" that, I said that was how I felt! Im not throwing anything in your face . You did say I should stop arguing in front of Ty though, it implied I do it all the time, but you never said I was a bad tempered cow, that was MY words??

sorry Billy, crossposting then. pmsl at the "naughty lead"...a very interesting post, thanks. Am much calmer now, and George and Ty are playing tuggy, so she must be feeling ok.

Thanks Marion And everyone whose tried to make me feel a bit better, I guess none of us know how we,d react in this situation. I feel like some people think Im a bad tempered cow whose always arguing and never calm, a nervous wreck who would do be tter by Ty if I wasnt under-confident and over-protective and stopped being a violent big mouth! Im NOT!! .......Am I? Oh god...am I?? Im worried now.. Sorry..couldnt resist.

He is stunning. And saw you coming Im falling for pointies more and more, they do have a special gentleness about them dont they? You cant fight fate...it was obviously meant to be and he was waiting for you

She froze at the front door So I just sat on the doorstep, I didnt want to "force" it, but at the same time I didnt want to just go back inside, Ty eventually stepped out into the front garden,I clicked her the second a paw went over the threshold , but she didnt want the cheese, (she doesnt take treats if shes stressed) and again everytime she took a step nearer the gate, so after a few minutes I opened the gate a little, but that was a step too far for Ty and she ran back to the front door. We came in then, I dont know if that was the right thing to do ? but I felt she,d done well to be out there for that amount of time. I,ll do the same again in a few hours I think, and build up gradually to going outside of the gate and then tackle the car when we,ve got that far. I do want to show her Im confidant, but Im afraid if I push her she,ll go back to how she was a few months ago when she wouldnt even go out the front door. So Im not sure if Im doing the right thing or not?? Im concerned that Im not doing the right thing, but its a fine line to tread between being "over-protective", and too forcefull? Taking on board that my friend, and some of you think Im possibly treating her with kid-gloves too much, Im wary of doing either. It took a long long time for Ty to get where she is now, and seeing her like this now does make me a bit mad with my friend, I admit. Its so bloody hard to know what can be too much or too little, to help Ty. I do listen to you all, and it has "gone in" that I might have inadvertantly caused Tys problems, and I feel very bad about that, it makes me doubt myself, but I want to put things right and Im trying.

Thanks everyone. I am taking on board all your suggestions and comments. I appreciate ALL views, and Id like to respond to some I dont keep having arguments in front of Ty , I dont argue often with anyone fullstop, yet alone in front of the dogs. Wanted to clear that up as it makes me sound like a raving lunatic whose ranting all the time. Em I wouldnt ever trust her alone with Ty. Shes a good friend but seems very cold where dogs are concerned. She sent one of her own dogs (now at the bridge) to Royvon residential training school, while she went to Greece, to be trained "properly". She keeps saying Ty should go there . I can imagine Ty in a place like that, and the damage it would cause her! Pam I dont think Im a particularly unconfident owner, although I do wish I had a bit more confidence. I think if it was about the way Ive brought Ty up, then George would be the same, and he,s definately not, he,s a bolshy bugger . I think my confidence has worsened because of Tys problems, but I very much hope I havnt caused them? If I have, then I feel terrible. edited cos I hit send before I meant to.. Thanks to all of you. Im going to try the car thing, slowley, in a minute, Ive got lots of cheese (tys favorite,) and have just put her body wrap on and given her some Anxiety drops, so I,ll let you know how we go.

I wasnt snapping at Raiye. I also dont care if people agree with me or not , I asked for advice about getting Ty back into the car. Raiyes post wasnt offering advice, but was a bit condesending. I couldnt really see the point in posting it tbh. But I am sorry if I came across as snapping, I didnt feel "snappy" , just sad. Ive already spoken to my friend. Just for the record, she is very aware of Tys problems, and is a dog owner herself. Shes very "old school" in her approach to dogs though, they arnt members of the family, theyre just dogs, so she doesnt agree with a lot of the way I deal with Ty, she thinks I should stop treating her with kid-gloves and be her "boss" , so she was aware that having Ty in the car would scare her, I shouldve been clearer about that. Ive apologised, she accepted, then told me I owe her 3 quid for the carwash Thanks to those of you who have given me advice. Thats all I wanted.

Most of the ranting and stuff was outside of the house when we got back. Ty was already inside, Id taken her in when I went to get my mates car keys off the table. Thanks for making me feel a lot worse though

Had to calm down before I came and posted this, the bad language filter wouldve blown up. I had to take Ty to the vets this morning for a check up, just to see how shes getting on with the clomicalm (no difference at all, waste of money I think), and last night I hurt my back again so cant really turn to drive, my mate was here and said she,d drive me in my car today, so Ty could be safe in the boot behind the guard...anyway, we get to the vets (Ty already scared) and I go in to tell them we,re here, then wait out in the car with her so shes not in a tiny room with other dogs. We go in eventually, Ty has her check-up, told shes fine etc, and I take her back out to the car to stay with my mate while I go back in a pay for another course of clomicalm (last one, if this doesnt work, thats it). Im waiting quite a while, its busy, and when I go outside, my cars gone I couldnt work out what was going on...I didnt have my phone with me so I couldnt even ring my mate to ask why she,d stolen my car and my baby A few more minutes goes by, then she drives around the corner, I said "where have you been? I was worried!" but as soon as the words were out, I could see where she,d been. To the drive-through carwash . She thought my car was filthy so did it as a favour. I quickly rushed to open the boot to see Ty, and my god was she in a state Shaking, cowered in the corner of the boot, tail and head low, and panting. She was terrified I asked my mate why didnt she consider that Ty was in the car, she knows how sensitive she is about everything, it mustve been like a nightmare for her stuck in there while all these brushes and noises and water was going all over the place! I said it was a really stupid thing to do, what was she thinking? She said I was over-reacting, and that Ty is scared of "everything anyway" We had a major fall out and when we got home she didnt even come in, she just got in her car and drove off. Ty has been in a state since we got back., Shes very agitated, keeps trying to get under the bed, and has gone for george twice. And its yet another negative thing to associate going outside with, plus the vets. And even worse, she,ll probably associate being in the car with bad stuff now too! I feel so so sorry for her, poor little girl. But now Im not only fuming, but feeling bad for my friend. She was trying to do me a favour, and I ended up shouting and almost hit her . Im still really angry, for Tys sake, but maybe I did over-react? And I dont know where to go from here to help Ty. Should I try her back in the car soon, or leave it for a while? Should I try to walk her, or not? Ive got to handle this right, otherwise the one thing she can do without fear (ride in the car) is going to be ruined too. Any advice please

Just to let you know Lynne that I havnt forgot, still trying to sort out paypal probs

And very norty He rolled in a huge pile of fresh horse manure today. Then as I was trying to pull him away, he ate some too! Then sicked it back up in the car on the way home.

kats n greys I posted a while back about the man with the Rhodesian Ridgeback who was feeding Bakers, the dog had a horrible skin complaint and was hyper, I told him it was likely the Bakers doing it and he said he,d take Zac straight off it. I saw him a few days ago, Zacs skin complaint is gone, and I mean totally, and he,s a lot calmer, he,s feeding him Autarky now. (now all Ive got to do is convert him to barf ) Another dog owner I know feeds Bakers and his dog is totally menthol but he wont listen, says Bakers is a good food

Ty caught my finger instead of the tuggy toy Its worse than it looks It is and Im not being a baby.