Ruthi (borrowadog)

Zylkene has transformed Tiger when stressless did nothing. He just doesn't worry about stupid stuff any more, but its not damped him down the way clomicalm does. You could try gluing down some heavy duty vinyl flooring onto the crate bottom. Harder wearing than rubber. I'm thinking of Karndean or some such. I presume not crating him is a non-starter? Not if you want a home to live in. Ruth

Its not being disloyal. You will never forget, or replace Daisy, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't have another dog. I always reckon that you can't replace the dog, but you can fill the dog shaped hole in your life. Sure Daisy wouldn't want that doggie to sit in rescue, when she could be with you, comforting you and Duncan?

I studied politics at University, and it led me to the unfortunate conclusion that people who stand for election are by definition unfit to govern. Later I realised that people often go into politics because they want to make a difference, but its almost impossible to remain totally principled. The time will come when they do something less than obviously straight because of what they think is the greater good. They are probably no less fit than those who would gain power by any other means. To be honest, I think its a very dangerous thing to decide who to vote for because they happen to agree with me about a small number of specific topics. Even though I feel passionately about the DDA, and I am a small business struggling with the huge burden of red tape and taxation I don't think its wise to vote for a party just because they happen to agree with my views on these matters. I wouldn't be happy in a country that did exactly what I wanted on those topics, and then threw every last black skinned person out of the country, for example. When you are deciding which party to vote for, its quite helpful to stand back and look at what the party stands for in a big picture way, rather than getting tied up in the minutae of their policies. No party is ever going to have exactly the policies that I would like, so I look at the direction they are going in. Here's my personal summary of the underlying beliefs of the major, and not so major parties. Tory - the way to the greatest good for the greatest number of people is through capitalism. Its a good thing to have wealthy people at the top of the heap because their wealth will filter down to the majority. It doesn't matter if there are losers in this system, someone has to be at the bottom of the heap, we'll just give them basic (very basic because we don't want too much taxation to discourage the people who create wealth, ie middle and upper earners) care and support. Regulation is generally a bad thing because it is expensive and hinders the creation of wealth. Oh, and war is the right way to sort out our disagreements with others nations if diplomacy fails. Liberal - the aim is to create a society where everyone can achieve their potential. The route to this is to provide good education, welfare and health services, and if its necessary to tax people to pay for that, that's fine. Winners in a liberal economy have a moral duty to give up some of their wealth to help the less lucky, but there is an expectation that everyone will do their best to contribute in society. Regulation is essential to ensure fairness, but not so much as to stifle creativity. War is a Bad Thing and hardly ever justified. Labour - traditionally the old labour/left wing paradigm was that money is the root of all evil, and if someone has it they are by definition wicked. Employers left to their own devices would return to the Victorian factory system. The workers deserve an equal share of all wealth. Anyone who is not working also deserves an equal share of the wealth because they surely didn't choose their situation. No-one should have to face the risk of losing their livelihood, or any risk for that matter. Regulation is good because people in power, and especially employers, are fundamentally untrustworthy. The labour problem is that so very few people are now working class, with almost the entire population being defined as, or thinking of themselves as middle class, owning their own homes, and reluctant to pay taxes. War is a Bad Thing, but unfortunately its still necessary. Greens - if we destroy our environment all other discussions will be pointless UKIP - we are a proud island nation, and its not in our interests to be part of the EU who don't understand our values or have our interests at heart. BNP - we are a proud white island nation and immigration is bad. Immigrants are therefore bad. You could write your own summary of what you think parties stand for, of course, and I am sure they would read different to mine! I just tried to summarise what I see, and couch it in terms that weren't too value laden! As it happens, I don't think that a coalition would necessarily be a bad thing at all. Coalitions in general (and there are lots of examples worldwide) do seem to manage to act when things are really serious, but on normal stuff, a period of careful reflection before bringing in yet another raft of poorly thought out legislation can only be good. You only have to look at the DDA - a piece of hastily drafted legislation, poorly thought out, that doesn't really solve the problem for which it was designed. I doubt if a coalition would have brought it in - certainly not in that form!

Sadly, that's partly how caffeine works - feel tired and low?, boost your blood sugar with caffeine. Trouble is that then the insulin kicks in, and bang, you feel tired and low again. Never mind, have another cuppa. Of course its also a CNS stimulant, and that effect lasts rather longer. Guess what I am addicted to? Caffeine (well, honestly? what is the point of tea or coffee without? I feel cheated with every decaff cup!) and sugar! Because for that short time they make you feel better. Intellectually I know that its not helpful, but at the animal level, there's nothing else, given that I don't do recreational drugs!

In 'normal' people their blood sugar doesn't go down just because they haven't eaten. Instead they start to burn stores of glycogen and fat and maintain a remarkably even blood sugar level. If your insulin production system is not too hot, you can end up with hypoglycaemia. The main way to control it is through diet - diets high in protein, vegetables and complex carbs are the best - ie the ones we evolved to eat! Caffeine and food high in sugar and simple carbs raise blood sugar sharply and cause a surge of insulin, which then brings your blood sugar down below normal. Then you crave more sugar or caffeine and the cycle is established. For reasons not well understood, regular exercise also helps prevent hypoglycaemia. Hypoglycaemia (or regularly getting into that state) is recognised as being a precursor to diabetes, so its well worth doing something to make sure it doesn't occur. In summary, drop the caffeine and junk food, exercise more or look forward to diabetes, with all its attentand horrors and risks.

Hugs for Nigel, and Sproggie and Sprogsbloke Seamus killed a cat! I feel awful!! I left a note for the owners, (cat ran away, but died later) and they are distraught, and furious. Can't say I blame them, I should have had him on a lead. I did look for cats before I let him out, but clearly didn't spot this one. I don't mind him killing rodents in the woods, but not someone's pet! Not that he can tell the difference, of course!

You are not a fraud, Laura, its just that each experience is different - and there's no competition to see who suffered the most! I personally was only hit once, and then not that badly but he'd reduced me to a frightened mouse who took the blame for everything, he'd split me from almost all my friends, and hated my family. If he made you feel that you were useless, in the wrong, had no rights, embarrassed you in front of friends and family, or split you from them, with or without violence its abuse. You have survived and come out stronger, and with stronger relationships with your friends and family. Sadly, because he's charming and educated (no class barriers in the world of abuse!) he'll soon find another victim and for a little while it will make him feel better.

I'm so sorry! :GroupHug:

I was amazed by how many people I met had experienced violence and/or bullying - I reckon its around one in ten - at least! Laura, I moved, and then changed my name just to be sure. I'm still really careful where I allow myself to be visible, no Facebook for me! Its not perfect, but most of the time I feel safe (and feel that Tiger is safe too). But every so often I see someone in the distance and panic - I think that is probably with me for life! New service sounds good, Jules, at least in theory. I found that because I left before the violence escalated to the point where I presented at A & E, the police were polite, but not exactly excited about my plight. Moving and disappearing was the easiest way for me.

This checklist HERE!!!

I like this checklist here Remember, you don't have to have a tick next to every single item! If your partner/parent/boss/child is making you feel bad about yourself then you need to think carefully whether this is really what you want!

I just want to make sure that Rick doesn't delete this thread! Four years ago at this time I was plotting my escape, entirely as a result of reading what Jules wrote here. It seems amazing that I hadn't seen my situation clearly before, but then our controllers are very good at distorting the view. This thread turned my life around, so totally that the only thing still in it is Tiger, and my children, of course. Unfortunately the link to the checklist has gone now - but there are others on the web if you feel one would be useful. Thank you again, Jules, we've never met, but I owe you so much.

Never again - I did read the article, and then didn't sleep! I'm so sorry little girl, I hope you find some lovely people and friends at the bridge.

You can still claim on your insurance for the damage, even though it was 'self inflicted' - after all it was an accident! They can only refuse to pay out if the damage was deliberately caused. I once got a whole new carpet because of a cigarrette burn. I never let anyone smoke in my home again, but the insurance company actually volunteered that I should claim when I thought it wasn't covered!

Go ahead and give it, asap, hourly for 3 hours is good. Ideally not within 15 mins of anything else in his mouth, but if that's not possible 5 mins will do. Personally I'd not give it after that because I don't think its likely to do any more good, and there's a small risk of proving. What you should find is that the bruising clears up quicker than it would do otherwise. But it'll have to go through the normal stages or lurid colours etc. Ruth, (fully trained homoeopath, but not practising nowadays). Its unlikely that you'll give him anything like this, but nothing mint flavoured, and no coffee for a week, please. Arnica is one of those that does seem to be stopped by these foods.

I have a Citroen Berlingo van with a double barjo van crate in the back - at the back of the load floor with the doors opening backwards. Its tied down with heavy duty webbing straps so can be removed if necessary. Between the crates and the seats is a space about 2 foot by the width of the van - although in the current system dog hair does accumulate there. Dogs can see out of the back windows - if you had the Berlingo 'car' there would be side windows as well. There is room above the crates to fit boxes on top for food - wouldn't be difficult to make. Any of the small(but not tiny ones) panel vans would be similar. Ford Connect is a nicer drive, apparently, or there's an auto version of the diesel VW caddy if you are feeling lazy. To be honest there's little difference in cost nowadays between a van and a car, so if they are happy on the back seat you could consider any estate or hatchback. I'm a big Ford fan, good value, cheap to maintain, etc etc.

I've used Glasses Direct and was very unhappy with the quality of their varifocals. I've been used to the top brands, and theirs were much worse. Getting things sorted out was a bit of a nightmare too, although they did get it right in the end. But friends have used them for single vision lenses and loved them.

In addition to the purity there are different types of glucosamine - Kcl and Hcl I seem to remember. One is better absorbed than the other. Good quality and value is the stuff from Healthspan - www.healthspan.co.uk and there is lots of information about it on their site. Glucosamine is a source of organic sulphur, but if I remember rightly it, and chondroitin are from shellfish sources. There is another one called MSM which is slightly different. It might be worth trying that instead.

It really depends how much you are going to use it. Even a cheap modern machine from Lidl at around £40 will have all the stitches you will need as a beginner. But it won't be quite as nice to use as the expensive ones, and probably not quite as long lived. They are all made in China nowadays anyway, even the ones with long established names, so its difficult to work out which are the best. Perfectly good basic machines turn up on Freecycle regularly.

Erm, 'fraid so! Yes! You are very, very brave! I've never smoked (both my parents died prematurely of smoking related diseases - you have no idea how much of a relief it was when my youngest passed the age I was when my mum died!). But I have seen at first hand how difficult it is - not because the addiction is so strong, but because the ciggies have become a best friend. Then I worked for a smoking cessation service for a while and saw how much of a struggle it can be. The people who succeed are always the ones who have thrown the switch in their minds, and decided to break that toxic relationship with smoking. Did you know that on average people succeed on their seventh attempt. Don't worry if you've never tried before, there are loads of people out there who've gone way over their 7 and need you to even up the score a bit! If the microtabs don't do it for you and you are really struggling with cravings then the patches might work better for you. Here's to you, Mags - the new you! Ruth

Or, of course, you can watch Southern Lurcher Rescue's Jess and her puppies here http://tinyurl.com/yawr9s3 they'll be opening their eyes any day now!

I tried the Stress-Less on Tiger because his things-that-go-bang-or-I-imagine-might-go-bang phobia was getting out of hand. He wouldn't go out at night at all, and I was regularly losing him on walks because he heard something. We do live near a firing range, so there are guns going off regularly, but there is nothing I can do about that. Magnesium had absolutely no effect at all. We tried it for several weeks and then I gave the rest of the pot to someone with a lurcher with SA. So I bit the bullet and bought some Zylkene. Its jolly expensive, and I am giving Tiger 1.5 capsules daily because he's just over the weight for one cap. Its been slow but it is definitely working He's going out more often at night, and although he clearly doesn't like the gunfire he generally isn't running away any more. Now the question is, now he's coping better do folks think I can use the desensitisation CD even though we can hear the firing range in the house?

You need to push for them to rule out both Crohn's and Coeliac disease before accepting a diagnosis of IBS. Food intolerance is difficult to pin down, and relatively rare, despite everything that we read about it. I used to run a support group for the Hyperactive Childrens Group, and we'd regularly see people working on this one. The most common causes of reactions are milk and wheat, but soya and lots of other foods can be triggers. Skin prick tests are almost worthless with food. There are blood tests that are more accurate, but still only measure true allergy, not the kind of intolerance that she is showing, so a systematic exclusion of all the possibles is the best way. Easiest is to start on a very limited diet and then introduce other foods, starting with the most likely culprits. You need to be clear of an offending food for at least five days before re-introducing it. If you are asthmatic don't do exlusion diets - especially of milk. The re-introduction tends to produce a heightened reaction. In the case of asthma that can be fatal!

Oh Jules! How sad, although I do think that Cleo is probably well out of it. 19 is a hell of an age to have to move house! I do hope they are friends at the bridge. :GroupHug: for you and Mum.

My M-i-L lives in Thundersley, near the common. She has a fat old collie who is a private rescue, and is getting on herself. Buster is in grave need of a visit to a groomer, and then the vet. I need recommendations for both groomers who can ideally pick up and drop off. Buster has a dense coat, and undercoat, and doesn't much like his paws or his back end being fiddled with. M-i-L is a bit afraid he might bite, although I doubt he would, but a competent groomer would have no trouble. He needs a bath, all that undercoat raking out, the mats at his back end seeing too, and a bit of a manicure. When he's looking decent and not so neglected, he'll need to go to the vet who will lecture M-i-L about his weight, but she might listen to him! I'm hoping the Cinnamon Trust will help get him there. Any recommendations would be gratefully received. The groomer needs to be kind to dogs and humans, and the vet should be tactful enough that she'll be prepared to go back after the lecture! If there's someone who she shouldn't use, just PM to prevent any libel actions!!