gooster Posted January 17, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 17, 2011 Thanks again guys, had a long discussion with my mum and dad tonight, and they managed to uncover a lot of personal issues that have been eating away at me for years. I have never had a relationship with anyone, and they think that part of my hatred of jo is the fact that I am jealous. I still dispute this, as I would like my brother's girlfriend to be be someone I can talk to and be friends with, maybe even go shopping for birthday and christmas presents with. I am not bothered that my younger brother has a girlfriend, I would just like to be friends with her, that is all. I know I have a lot of deep seated issues that have been around for years, but I don't blame them on the fact that I don't get on with Jo. That is just a whole other messy issue that needs to be dealt with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackmagic Posted January 18, 2011 Report Share Posted January 18, 2011 Thanks again guys, had a long discussion with my mum and dad tonight, and they managed to uncover a lot of personal issues that have been eating away at me for years. I have never had a relationship with anyone, and they think that part of my hatred of jo is the fact that I am jealous. I still dispute this, as I would like my brother's girlfriend to be be someone I can talk to and be friends with, maybe even go shopping for birthday and christmas presents with. I am not bothered that my younger brother has a girlfriend, I would just like to be friends with her, that is all. I know I have a lot of deep seated issues that have been around for years, but I don't blame them on the fact that I don't get on with Jo. That is just a whole other messy issue that needs to be dealt with. Perhaps the jealousy is against her as she has a boyfriend, rather than against your brother. Anyway I hope the talk has helped things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ian Posted January 19, 2011 Report Share Posted January 19, 2011 (edited) Somebody (can't recall who) said that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent (ie I'm suggesting that you don't have to worry about what Jo thinks of you or your dogs, whatever happens) Yes it would probably be nice if you got along better but it isn't essential to your brothers happiness is it? Would you really think it ideal if he broke up with the woman he apparently loves for example - if so is that just because that would make you happier? I wonder whether your parents are trying to avoid taking sides or whether you really believe they all want to push you out of the family? What do you imagine Jo was feeling when you suggested they might not get a mortgage? Also why it is you think that Jo dislikes you so much? I also wonder whether you would find it helpful to talk to someone independant & face to face (eg a counsellor) about the issues you mention I'm not necessarily expecting you to answer me here in any way by the way, just trying to offer a little food for thought for you. Good luck in reaching a solution everyone is happy with Edited January 19, 2011 by Ian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lester Posted January 21, 2011 Report Share Posted January 21, 2011 She seems to be a typical Bully. They still exist in real life as not all of them have discovered the possibilitie of tinternet. They automatically pick on people that seem to have weaknesses they can focus on. Some people attract all kinds of bullies throughout life ( like me . but not actually weak..shame I never learned to give in before it was too late ( or check for witnesses first)) someonly attract the odd one now and again. You should get leaflets-- look into this find out all about it and discuss it as much as possible. Ask her if they do bully counselling at her university. Its quite interesting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trallwm farm Posted January 21, 2011 Report Share Posted January 21, 2011 She seems to be a typical Bully. They still exist in real life as not all of them have discovered the possibilitie of tinternet. They automatically pick on people that seem to have weaknesses they can focus on. Some people attract all kinds of bullies throughout life. I agree with Lester. I think that once she feels you are out of her space she will pick off your parents untill she has your brother alone. Its time you realised you were the one to spot her coming and just relax a little. The others will eventually find out themselves. I bet she sticks like fly paper to your brother because she doesnt have any long term friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gooster Posted January 21, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 21, 2011 It's funny you say that Lesley, as she doesn't have many friends. She tried to live away at uni, but couldn't cope and dropped out. One of my brother's best friends doesn't get on with her and as a result my brother and his friend have drifted apart. Dad called me before to ask if I was going round tomorrow, again I said I would if it was just going to be us - aside from anything else, my brother and girlfriend like to watch scary films on a Saturday night, and I hate scary films as they give me nightmares. So I told dad I'd rather stay at mine and watch take me out and casualty!! He didn't seem Impressed, but to be fair, it's my Saturday too, and I don't want to go to mum and dad's for the sake of it, be forced to watch a scary film, and then go to bed and have nightmares! I'd rather stay at mine, even if it does mean I have to be alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merledogs Posted January 22, 2011 Report Share Posted January 22, 2011 The beauty of being by yourself is you can do what you want and watch what you want - being in company just for the sake of it is overrated. Hopefully this will impress on your dad how serious the situation is and make him think a bit more about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happylittlegreensquirrel Posted January 30, 2011 Report Share Posted January 30, 2011 How are things now Gooster ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gooster Posted January 30, 2011 Author Report Share Posted January 30, 2011 Things are a bit better, I just try and ignore her if she is around and don't try and make any conversation. Was surprised this week as we all had the dentist and usually she tags along (I mean that's weird in itself - who goes to the dentist if they don't have to??!!) , but this time she stayed at mum and dad's house whilst we went to the dentist. Thanks for asking Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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