Smug Types Who Buy You A Goat For Christmas

[Happylittlegreensquirrel]

Just read this article by Virginia Ironside on the mail online

 

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1236247/VIRGINIA-IRONSIDE-A-curse-smug-types-buy-goat-Africa-Christmas.html

 

Dear all, read the note in my inbox.

 

'Apologies for the group email, but I've decided to give to charity the money I would normally spend on your Christmas cards.

 

'This year, I am funding a woman's refuge in Scotland. I hope you will agree that your card money has gone to a good cause. Happy Christmas everyone!'

 

My blood began to simmer. And it reached boiling point when I remembered that last year someone had the cheek to send me a card informing me that my Christmas 'gift' was a goat, sent - without so much as a by-my-leave - to some village in Africa.

 

Now, I know there are some who will argue I am being a miserly misery-guts. In our age of excess, surely a charitable donation has to be better than spending lots of money on gifts that are destined to be stuffed in the back of a cupboard after a couple of days.

 

We're also in a recession and, in this season of limited financial goodwill, charities need our help more than ever. Is there a gesture more selfless than giving to a needy cause? And, of course, I would agree - if you are the person making a donation to an appeal of your own choosing.

 

The problem is that although the charity donation present may seem like a gift, it's not really a gift at all. It's as if the giver, instead of contributing herself directly to a charity (which is, of course, entirely reasonable, generous and kindly), involves an unwitting middleman in the trans-action - and expects gratitude for it.

 

Recently, I gave a talk at a very enjoyable event put on by a Jewish organisation. I was happy to do it for nothing. But then, as a 'token of our appreciation', I was handed a certificate that informed me that 'Trees had been planted in Israel in the name of Virginia Ironside'.

 

It was hard to know whether to laugh or cry. Maybe I don't believe that trees being planted anywhere is a good idea. Maybe I'd prefer them planted somewhere else. Maybe, before whizzing them off to Israel, it would have been polite to let me have a peep at them to decide whether I might like one or two for my own garden.

 

I couldn't help feeling angry that I was expected, in some way, to feel grateful for a gift that, in the end, benefited only donor and recipient.

 

And it's the same with these charitable gifts. It's one thing to buy a gift from an Oxfam catalogue and give it to a friend as a Christmas present. That's entirely reasonable.

 

But to give directly to a charity of your own choice, and then expect to be thanked for it, is, I say, ultimately self-serving.

 

 

Imposition: Last year, Virginia's gift was a goat, sent to a village in Africa

One of the reasons I dislike this trend is that charities are not universally wonderful and good and noble - or, rather, they usually are wonderful and good and noble but only in the eyes of those who support them.

 

Charitable giving is a tremendously political - and fraught - arena. A charity that is one person's good cause will be another's pet hate.

 

You might not agree, but I would be livid, say, if any money destined for even a box of hankies for me had been diverted to an antiabortion charity.

 

I would also be furious if any of the money were given to medical research (a particular personal bug-bear of mine, not shared, I know, by most right-thinking people).

 

I wouldn't be too happy about money being given to donkey sanctuaries, either, and feel the Lifeboat people already have enough to be getting on with. In other words, we don't agree about charities, by any means.

 

Indeed, I was rather miffed about the Women's Aid charity to which my friend was donating my Christmas card money. Not because I have anything against Women's Aid, but because I would prefer to donate to all victims of domestic violence, not just women.

 

The other reason I object to this kind of pseudo present-giving is that the person who gets the warm glow is the giver, not the recipient of her 'present'.

 

 

Political: A charity that is one person's good cause will be another's pet hate

It is she who writes out the cheque and she who gets the ingratiating letters of thanks - not only from the charity, but also from us metarecipients as well, congratulating her on her appeal to our selflessness.

 

This charitable giving is imposed on us everywhere. I am constantly being told that money has been added to my bill - by theatre companies, museums, restaurants - in aid of some charity, money that I can only remove by making a fuss.

 

Even Waitrose gives me a green button every time I shop there, to put into a slot in aid of one or other charity that Waitrose (not me) has chosen, presumably to give me the illusion that I am a generous person.

 

A gift to a charity like this is so wretchedly patronising, too. It's saying, in effect: 'I'm sure you would prefer a box of handmade chocolates, but I am appealing to your better nature and making an unselfish decision on your behalf.'

 

Of course, the worst problem about these gifts is that they tell you the giver doesn't give a jot about the person they're giving to, but only, ultimately, about themselves and the charity they're enriching.

 

You can give goats to any old person. You don't have to stagger round the shops finding out exactly what would give your friends delight. I think a present should be tailor-made for an individual. That way, we know that the giver cares.

 

Anyway, for heaven's sake, it's not as if the rest of us don't give money to charity! (Hope And Homes For Children, since you ask.) But we do it privately, not wishing to trumpet our generosity to the world.

 

Giving to charity via friends is actually a form of advertising your own good nature. And anyway, the truth is that lots of presents do end up as charitable gifts.

 

My local Age Concern bulges in January with presents I've recently received with gratitude, but which I find unusable.

 

That way, I get the pleasure of opening a well-intentioned parcel from a friend, which is very nice and gives me a warm feeling, whatever it is, and also the pleasure, if I wish, of handing the contents on to a charity. Myself.

 

There is nothing wrong with asking someone what they want for Christmas and if the answer is goats to Africa, then goats it shall be. Nor is there anything wrong with giving tiny tokens to people instead of the usual overblown gifts.

 

But don't make your friends feel like dumb tools in a charitable process that is, in the end, designed just to make you feel good.

 

 

 

Dogstar offer Sponsor a dog and sponsor a spay as gifts and are planning to expand next year , equally I have brought people gifts from Oxfam Unwrapped and good gifts in the past ( a load of toilets one year and every one loved them ) no one called me smug ( well not to my face ) and a lot of the recipients brought similar gifts the next year

 

I know charity giving is a very personal thing and if you are donating to a charity for a gift its wise to make it a charity they support or cause they agree with but to argue that the idea of someone giving to a charity is a bad thing seems a bit harsh

 

or am I missing the point ?

Edited December 16, 2009 by Happylittlegreensquirrel
edit wonky spelling

[cycas]

Virginia Ironside is an arse, and in my opinion everything she says should be automatically disregarded.

 

I am particularly annoyed by this bit:

 

"I feel the Lifeboat people already have enough to be getting on with"

 

because it singles out a specific identifiable charity rather than being a generic example, and not only is it a charity that saves lives but it's one that acts as a volunteer-manned emergency service using equipment that is spectacularly expensive to run and maintain, where the volunteers actually risk their own lives and livelihoods.

 

That makes me long to see Virginia Ironside drifting afloat in a small boat with no oars, off Penzance, in December.

 

Also, the Waitrose thing? NOT in fact, chosen by Waitrose, anyone can nominate a charity they support!

 

Grrrr. I hope that she is crushed by a pile of toppling gift-wrapped consumer goods.

Edited December 16, 2009 by cycas

[Spins4me]

Virginia Ironside is an arse, and in my opinion everything she says should be automatically disregarded.

 

I am particularly annoyed by this bit:

 

"I feel the Lifeboat people already have enough to be getting on with"

 

because it singles out a specific identifiable charity rather than being a generic example, and not only is it a charity that saves lives but it's one that acts as a volunteer-manned emergency service using equipment that is spectacularly expensive to run and maintain, where the volunteers actually risk their own lives and livelihoods.

 

That makes me long to see Virginia Ironside drifting afloat in a small boat with no oars, off Penzance, in December.

 

Also, the Waitrose thing? NOT in fact, chosen by Waitrose, anyone can nominate a charity they support!

 

Grrrr. I hope that she is crushed by a pile of toppling gift-wrapped consumer goods.

 

Well said, Cycas. What a miserable person she is.

Edited December 16, 2009 by Spins4me

[khanu]

I can sort of see her point, or rather one of her points. That the charitable gift may be given to a charity that the "recipient" doesn't agree with, and that possibly the giver is doing it as a way to feel good or its easier than shopping or whatever.

However having said that I don't really think that anyone buying one of these "gifts" is really doing it as a self-serving "aren't I great" act. And I'm sure that most people would buy a gift from a charity that they think the recipient would be glad to support.

Would I be pissed at receiving a charitable donation gift - not at all. I have far too much crap as it is and would rather that people didn't buy me anything and spent the money on something more worthwhile which this would in fact achieve.

Whilst she is entitled to donate to a charity of her choice, I do think she is a muppet for singling out individual charities saying they don't need the money. I'm kind of assuming if that was the case the charity wouldn't exist...let's hope she never has need of a woman's refuge or a lifeboat....

[Karen]

So the spirit of Christmas is all about receiving gifts is it? Stupid woman, I rather like the idea of her being adrift off Penzance too!

 

I have no religious conviction and have developed a growing conscience about the waste of paper from Christmas cards and their envelopes. So I've booked e-cards to be sent and have been happy to tell everyone that the amount I would have instead spent on cards and postage has been donated to charity. If that makes me unpopular with the Virginia Ironsides of the world, then I can't say that makes me unhappy.

[JulesB]

I don't agree with VI either, I think it's a bit of lazy journalism obviously hoping to stir things up, but it could really damage the efforts of charities.

 

I've received, and given, stuff like trees, half a yak etc. in the past and think this sort of gift is a great idea. Most of us are privileged enough to have way too much 'stuff' without adding to it.

[Ian]

I have brought people gifts from Oxfam Unwrapped and good gifts in the past ( a load of toilets one year and every one loved them ) no one called me smug ( well not to my face ) and a lot of the recipients brought similar gifts the next year

 

or am I missing the point ?

 

Are you sure they didn't just have differing tastes & re-wrap them for next year?

 

 

 

Virginia Ironside is an arse, and in my opinion everything she says should be automatically disregarded.

 

I am particularly annoyed by this bit:

 

"I feel the Lifeboat people already have enough to be getting on with"

 

Grrrr. I hope that she is crushed by a pile of toppling gift-wrapped consumer goods.

 

Generally speaking I'd agree with you about this "awful" woman & would be quite happy to see those consumer goods topple but on the giving gifts in someone else's name and the lifeboats I'm not so sure that she doesn't have a point

[Ian]

I suppose in a way what she's arguing is that the giver "has" to buy you a present and may "want" to give to charity. she is in effect arguing that rather than being generous the giver is actually depriving her of a gidt, giving to the charity they (not she)wanted to support anyway and therefore actually saving themselves some money./ making themselves feel good at her expense I can sort of understand her line of thought for once - or maybe I'm just a miserable g*t too

[Cafferysmum]

I sort of see her point, but wouldnt be miffed at getting a charity pressie..

 

But if you are going to say give Jayne Doe a charity pressie, give her one in a charity she believes in... not one whom she might say mmm ok..

 

When we do the Rosie Buttons a couple of years ago, it all depends on blagging stuff from companies, and the amount of shops that have their own charities etc etc is amazing and what is even more amazing is breast cancer how many do sponsor them, which is a good charity, but not one i would personally donate to.. its every ones different choice.. and i can say this hand on heart as my sister is sadly terminal with it....

 

But if someone was donating card money to a charity rather then sending fair enough, you cant really say well ill donate your 10p to this charity etc and yours to this or you could end up with 50 to 100 different charities lol..

 

Our old peoples home near us has an amnesty where after xmas you can take down unwanted gifts and chocs lol..which again is good if you want to do that.. which when i looked in my christmas cuboard this year i had loads of stuff unused. but it normally heads for raffles in summer to raise funds for whatever is happening at the time..

[Yantan]

I've bought things thro this type of gift aid for friends in the past but was very careful to chose charities I knew my friends would approve of. For one, an ex teacher, I chose text books and writing paper for a child in Africa - she was more than delighted with it, I've since got other similarly themed things for her.

 

I have sponsored animals on someone else's behalf knowing that they would approve of the charity and cause.

 

I was telling one friend of the sort of things I was planning for my other friends and she said "I'd rather have a personal present if you don't mind, it's one time of the year I get to be indulged a little" - fair enough.

 

There are certain charities I would prefer not to support or have someone support on my behalf but to be honest if anyone is getting me a "charity" present then they all know me well enough to get something "animal"

[kats n greys]

Seems like she's misunderstood the reason behind Christmas

 

When we've bought charity gifts for people we've asked them if they wew happy with it, the best being my niece who at age 10 was happy to sponsor a dog at Dog's Trust - and we did take her a few times to meet him

 

We have asked in the past and this year to have something donated to charity in our name.

 

Ray sponsored a orca in my name and we've been sponsoring Holly for over 10yrs now.

[Ingrid]

My brother in law did this a couple of years ago and I thought it was a great idea, much rather money was spent on something like that then wasted on an item I'll never use, but then they normally end up in a charity shop

[cycas]

Even if someone does buy you a random consumer item in a box, there is no guarantee you will like or approve of it.

 

I've been given stuff like animal-tested cosmetics, items made from endangered wood without certification, hideous itchy clothing, before now - things I'd never buy for myself, don't want and actively disapprove of. That's part and parcel of being given gifts: you get stuff the other person thought was suitable, not stuff that actually is.

 

At least if you are given a sponsorship or donation that you don't want, then you don't have the hassle and annoyance of having to store it and struggle to a charity shop with it.

[Happylittlegreensquirrel]

I don't think anyone every has any right to be given a gift so if someone gives to a charity on my behalf even if its not one of my personal charities then to me whats lovely is they were chartable. They thought about someone else's needs or a problem, and they gave there money to answer that cry for help

 

who I am to say that someone at sea needing to be rescued is any more or less important that a cancer patient , a child awaiting a transplant , children dying of hunger or disease , animal charities in the UK or abroad

 

 

There are non profits / charities worldwide trying to make a difference for animals , people and the environment , some are very well supported and some literally just scrape by or never have enough money to fulfil there aims but every time someone helps them the world becomes a slightly better place for it

[Fee]

Honestly, what a load of self-serving twaddle from Virginia Ironside (as usual).

 

I'm the proud 'owner', courtesy of my daughters, of 3 goats, and will be delighted if I get an addition to the flock this year.