Helly

The highest judges scores get the 12 points etc. Then the public vote. The most vote gets 12 points and goes down in the same way. The 2 scores are then added together so if paul got 1 vote from judges then came bottom in phone vote as well, he would go out on 2 points.

I do wish, as they close voting on a saturday, and film the good-byes on a saturday, why we just cant have the results show on later like we used to, rather than pretend tonight is live

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats, and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940, when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada. The Scots have raised their threat level from "P*ssed Off" to "Let's get the B*st*rds". They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender". The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides". The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs". They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose". Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. Americans meanwhile, and as usual, are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their allies "just in case". Canada doesn't have any alert levels. New Zealand has raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA". Due to continuing defense cutbacks, New Zealand has only one more level of escalation, which is "I hope Australia will come and rescue us". Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!", "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is cancelled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

Still thinking get better thoughts

And dont forget, straight after on BBC2 is the 'youre fired' analysis program which is always good for a giggle too.

Lots of good thoughts for Con. Hope he is back home with you very soon

well done Alex. Never a doubt for the rest of us

Daily mail today says Gamu isnt the one that will get the wildcard back in. I think Cheryl has lost a bit of the plot somewhere

what?? No offers of eating anything strange and bizare if you pass? my house is full of electricians and joiners and builders. Its somewhat mad here today

cant beleive cheryl choose the 2 who fell apart under pressure, and didnt take Gamu or either of the 2 girls with the belting voices. Daily mail reveals next week, the judges get to pick one extra act as a wildcard entry from their groups.

I spent ages yesterday uploading pics of the extention and the dogs onto the pc. I smiled at the first day I got Seth pics... Like bagpuss, this poor sod was definately falling apart at the seams. Now he looks a bit more like a proper rottie from yesterdays pics i took...

I may have missed a few of the more technical points of some of the dances and I was watching the new professional men perhaps a tad too closely I enjoyed Anne bantering with Craig, and I am sure she will be dreadfull at latin next week. I hope though, that the voting public dont keep her in for too long at the expense of celebs who are dancing well as the weeks go by

morning. My dogs arnt quite ready to get up yet usually the younger rottie and old greyhound come out when Im unlocking the kennels, but they got as far as the door, saw the rain and came back in Tonight I will be able to resume alcaholic pleasures after 10 days off. We have a diabetic dog in, which I have to inject at 10.30pm every night, and I have abstained so that I couldnt miss the time slot, or begger up the jab itself. I can now get drunk, fall asleep or do what ever I want

so sorry. sleep tight little one

Hope the move goes well Owl. Im sure Derbyshire will suit you well

Morning. I couldnt for the life of me remember how to change a topic header but the mood Merly is in, I thought I had better figure it out quick I am now living in a total shell of a house, and have put my tent up in the dining room, which is where I now sleep. It keeps the dust and dog hairs off my bed Im also struggling to juggle a full kennels with getting to Liverpool most days to see Dad. I think Im going slowly round the bend

so sorry mel sleep tight Dennis

you could always have another baby. Fugees have been with you through the last few pregnancies and births, bout time we had another one to follow Not been around much as Ive been spending time with Dad. He finds out tomorrow hopefully, where his cancer has spread to and how and if it can be treated. He is still trying to get his kidneys back working after an operation last week, so he feels like he is being battered from all angles.

Jules. Glad your friend was at home with those who loved her. Griff - Glad the NHS is looking after your dad so well. They did a sterling job with my dad over the last few weeks too RMF I have finally caught up with my paperwork, and stuff. Waded through 2 weeks worth of post. God there is so much junk and worthless sh*t being posted through my door these days.

Well that was quick and efficient... Zak is now here

Can I just check, is the other one coming here because Graham rang me and said both were coming to us, but if Zak is going to northwest, are merseyside taking the other lad?

He never answers emails... even ones from me or the volunteers. He is one that has to be rung otherwise nowt happens Ive just rung Angela, and she thinks we have space, so she will check with graham and ring me back

Have you rung graham at RGT merseyside? Ive no idea whats planned to come in or out, but we certainly have spaces in the kennels. 01925 638858

morning. I am back in body, though the spirit could take a little longer to arrive. Plane was delayed last night coming back from egypt, so I go in at 4am and was up at 7am as usual for work. I hope no one wants me to actually think today

Thanks for the good thoughts for dad. He seemed a lot brighter today, and tomorrow the hospital will run a few more tests to make sure he is properly hydrated and his kidneys are ok then plan to send him home. Ive agreed to go away but should anything change i will hotfoot it straight back again. Best go to bed. Im up at 5am