scotslass

When she was 3, my wee sister was taken to see Santa in Glasgow. One of Santa's elves - a middle aged lady - was standing by with gender-appropriate toys ( ) wrapped up. She handed a parcel to Penny who opened it to find - a golly. Penny screamed and dropped it. Cue one very embarrassed elf, spluttering about how sorry she was, and she didn't mean anything by it, and she never noticed people's skin colour herself, etc etc.... Mum explained it was nothing personal - Penny, in common with thousands of little girls, just didn't like gollies. We still laugh about it now. Here's Penny...she'll be mortified that I've posted her on the internet, but what the heck - it's big sister's privilege.

Aww...sweet. Pics of new teeth, please? Liz.

When my Dylan came home after 7 weeks, Kathy, he had lost a third of his body weight, apparently, and he probably did hunt, so goodness knows what your Dodge must be like, poor little thing. Just keep an eye on him for a few days (as if you wouldn't - what am I saying?? ) - Dylan had a couple of odd episodes in the first week home; he'd fall over on to his side and lie there, dazed...but the vet checked him again and couldn't find anything wrong. He's been fine since, but it was scary at the time. I assume it was just his poor body getting used to food again. Give him a big cuddle from me. Believe me, I know how you feel. Liz.

I just saw this great news on rmf - welcome home, Dodge! Your Mum can sleep soundly tonight. Liz.

I am thrilled for you, Kathy. What a relief.

Ever since I learned that a playgroup in our fairly affluent village (Scotland) had applied for, and received, funds from Children in Need, I have been sceptical about this kind of fund-raising. The parents involved in that playgroup could easily have provided the extra resources themselves. That isn't my idea of a child in real need. I suspect that the Comic Relief idea is similar. I am uncomfortable about the whole idea of the rich and famous asking the rest of us to donate to causes we don't really know anything about (apart from what the TV producers choose to let us see). I have an old neighbour who feels depressed every year at the pittance she can afford to give - while her "heroes", the eejits who present the programmes, steal the limelight. It's very good PR for them, that's for sure. In general, I don't see why we need charities to support essential welfare services. We should be lobbying the government (of whatever shade) to carry out its duties properly - in the meantime, we should check exactly where the money goes, and how it's raised. It is appalling that the greyhound industry is being allowed to show itself in a good light. I'll be writing too. Liz.

I suspect he means that the Yorkie breeder told him the dog would live to 12. That's what some breeders do - they tell you what you want to hear. I think we can forgive him one lapse too - I for one haven't always known about the numbers of dogs in rescue - he does say they got a rescue dog next time. I expect someone advised him to go and get a puppy from a breeder, because that's still fairly standard advice. The common perception is that with a pedigree dog, you know what you're getting - he is pointing out how wrong that can be. I think he's concerned, too - as many of us are - that Crufts is a commercial enterprise with no real concern for dogs. The dog food companies who sponsor it are often ones involved in animal testing for example. I can't condone that, I'm afraid. The issue about whether people go for looks or temperament - again, I could say I think all Cavaliers have a kindly disposition and are totally non-aggressive. That is my experience of the breed. However, I'm sure you'll find people who say otherwise, and with the numbers of Cavaliers being churned out commercially, that is just what you'd expect. Not all breeders breed carefully and even when they do, individual dogs will not conform to breed type. I can't find much to disagree with in this statement - "Buying and selling dogs, as a commercial enterprise, seems to me an unattractive way of earning a living. Crufts is a highly commercial enterprise. The casual visitor could be forgiven for believing that it exists solely to promote the sale of dog food. And half of the owners with dogs on show hope that, by winning a cup or a rosette, the puppies they breed will sell at a premium." I'm with Yanytan and the others. We are here to promote rescues first and foremost, surely - not to advocate breeding? Liz. oops, YANTAN. Tried to edit and failed...

"Being one myself, I am instinctively on the side of mongrels (my italics). But it is not my highly developed egalitarian instinct which has turned me against the canine perfection that comes from pedigree. I just find the idea of loving a dog because of its appearance inherently repulsive." He isn't saying we shouldn't love pedigree dogs. He is saying we shouldn't be too hung up on appearance. He is a very modest man, Roy Hattersley, with a great sense of fun - hence his remarks about being a mongrel himself. His book really is worth a read. I have concerns about the desire for one breed, to be honest. Breeds came about, I assume, because people wanted a dog to match their life-style, or to use for a particular job. My Cavalier's origins would be as a hot water bottle for rich ladies travelling in carriages. Other dogs were bred to guard or herd. The fact that they have nothing to guard or herd (safely) is an issue we're all familiar with, just as it's an issue that 'companion' dogs like Bonnie are often left alone, with no company, for hours on end. I have no doubt I could go to a rescue home tomorrow and find a dog who would give me as much companionship and fun as my current dog does - and for that reason, I can't see myself ever buying a particular breed in future. I was brought up with spaniels and I like the way they look - but that's a pretty shallow excuse for choosing one dog over another. Even if there were no breeds, there would be "mongrel" dogs which would fit my idea of the right dog for my circumstances. Liz. ps I didn't choose a Cavalier particularly - I rehomed her - and I love her to bits, just as I would if she were a scruffy mongrel instead of a scruffy pedigree.

I agree. It's classic behaviour from a cheater. Please do as Claire suggests - this isn't a life, is it? Is this all you expect from a relationship? We all deserve much better - don't let him convince you otherwise. You only get one chance at life, Emma. Grab it.

Er, yes. There's nothing so alluring, apparently, as a woman who wants to be left alone. Don't try it if you are just kidding, the rest of you - it doesn't work unless it's genuine (and therefore pointless). Liz.

I despair sometimes - both at the cruelty of some people, and the indifference of others. Thank goodness he's been caught and the dog brought to safety. I only hope the SSPCA does a good job of caring for this dog - I have just found this on Gumtree... http://aberdeen.gumtree.com/aberdeen/56/8318056.html Liz.

Oh, I am so sorry. Liz.

Happy Gotcha Day, Dylan!! Liz.

I don't pull up carpet. You need masking tape over carpet (as far down sides as poss) to stop getting new painty bits fluffy.

Good to see you back. Hospital would have left a number for you to contact. It was probably your OH, calling from call box to say traffic is bad or car's broken down? I know how you feel, though.

Salted Broccoli with Added Salt I could live without. I'll take me rosy-tinted specs off now. I agree about the effects of depression. I hope things improve too. Yes, but if the child's needs are put first - as they should be - separating him from his home is only adding to his distress. In general, kids do better if they are supported at home - taking this boy away from his mother might seem kind to us, but imagine how he'd feel? I don't think there's a quick fix; it needs long-term consistent input. I agree, it's too easy for all of us out here to scapegoat the professionals. They are not , individually, perfect (I have many family members in social services) - but this family must have contact with all sorts of ordinary people too. How many of us would "interfere" if we saw a child in this state? The woman needs to be helped, yes, but as you've said, she also needs to know she is killing that boy.

Have a safe and peaceful passing, sweetheart. to your family and all who love you. Liz.

He's younger than my children, so I'm afraid I just feel that someone should make him put his shirt on, and possibly his jumper too. I feel pretty uncomfortable about men of 40-odd ogling 17 year old girls, I have to say, so for me, there's no difference. I hope people don't go to see Equus just for a look at a boy's bottom - and if this lad is a decent actor with a future, he'll be hoping the same thing. As boosboss pointed out, the character is suppose to be having a breakdown - if the audience is only there for the view, Radcliffe is not succeeding in the role. Liz.

If this is the documentary I saw, the mother doesn't get up in the morning till her own mother gets her up; she was filmed smoking in bed while she surfaced. Granny then feeds the boy and gets him ready. I do think that a) they shouldn't keep junk food in the house and b) they should let him do things for himself. The mother is depressed and unable to cope; the grandmother seems to feel it's someone else's problem. It was grotesque to see this huge child sitting on the sofa in front of the TV being handed great platefuls of junk, but that's TV documentaries for you. He isn't the only child in Britain to have this life-style, although he may be an extreme example. Taking him away from his mother wouldn't help. A life in care would only add to his problems. I think we always have to remember that "the authorities" whoever they are, can't just wade in and sort out people's lives; this boy's situation is part of a larger problem for all children growing up in Britain today. Home cooking, for all kinds of reasons, is no longer the norm, and while children are spending their lives in front of screens eating junk food on their laps, nothing will change. I fear that as a nation, we are becoming increasingly dependent on "expert" intervention. What happened to common sense, self-reliance and a sense of pride? I have a friend (another Grumpy Old Woman ) who says that people don't understand the concept of shame any more - she may be right. Liz.

I wish you love and light forever, sweetheart. No more darkness, no more pain. None of us will ever forget your story and we'll try to do what we can for all the Erwines in this world.

Goodnight, sweetheart. Run free forever. Liz.

Poor wee man. He'll leave from your arms, though - better than dying alone in a shed. Will be thinking of you tonight and hoping that now Erwine can be truly free. Liz.

I'm in Scotland at the moment, Kathy, but just checked in to see if your boy was home. Don't give up. I felt really silly calling Rowan night after night (and I had to miss many nights as time passed, because we'd moved away) and I knew the neighbours thought I was mad, but I did get him back - after 7 weeks. I thought he'd been stolen because a) he is beautiful and soppy and b) I thought he wouldn't be able to survive for that time outdoors. He was very thin when he came home but he had lived on his wits, obviously, while I was imagining him on someone else's lap. I'd got to the stage where I hoped he had been taken in, because at least he'd be safe. It's horrible not knowing. Liz.

I am so sorry. What devastating news. Liz.

That is horrible; how cruel to be talked about like that when you are at your most vulnerable. I'm grateful my parents didn't end up in care, but others aren't so lucky. I dread being at that stage. Thank you for caring when your job must already leave you drained. Liz.