Fran make an appointment to go see the schools SENCo and ask them to support you with a referral (this will also give you some insight in to the schools oppinion), once you have their support you can either go for a referral through the GP like we did with Tom or get the school to ask the Educational Psychologist to come in and assess him, we did GP as it is usually the quickest option as at the time Tom was fast approaching 5 where they transfer from Early Years and Extended Services to Educational Psychologist and Autism Teachers Service. Tom was assessed at The Edwin Lobo Centre in Luton not sure if they cover your area too or not or what age they assess to
Please don't feel you have failed him, it took me 3yrs to get Tom assessed and we had to literally fight to get there
Tom has come on in leaps and bounds with the right help, support and intervention, we have a second assessment on the 30th with an educational psychologist as it appears he might also have Dyspraxia to go with his ASD and ADHD
I can guess what Fiona has PM'ed and please do take her up on it she was certainly my rock during the process with Tom