Rudi Posted January 3, 2009 Report Share Posted January 3, 2009 to everyone who feels unable to cope at the moment; you will get better, spring will come, and life will be good again. for you too. I think having dogs makes a huge difference for me, I don't have children or a partner and I'm not sure I'd bothering getting out of bed some mornings if I didn't need to look after the dogs. I never 'said' that out loud before because it seems a bit melodramatic but being bounced on in the mornings definately helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mags Posted January 3, 2009 Report Share Posted January 3, 2009 I'd like to say a big thank you to everyone taking time to post their feelings on this topic. It helps a lot knowing you're not alone, even though you know you're not alone, if that makes sense. But being able to read about other peoples experiences and how they deal with it is very useful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heva Posted January 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 3, 2009 yeah i struggle with not having my own dogs at the moment as i know i can not go out for few days and it wont effect anyone!!!! Altho i do rob OH dogs from downstairs when need to go for a wonder round park but i know they dont 'need' me as my own would!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fee4 Posted January 3, 2009 Report Share Posted January 3, 2009 my tips: 1. review your diet-start removing some of the crap and replacing it with something worthwhile (chocolate is gd for the odd down day-but not long term!) 2. cut out the caffeine-its a horrid poison that plays havoc with both mind & body 3. keep exercising-even when you dont want to. Research shows that exercise can be as good as anti depressants in all but the most severe cases 4.sleep more/better -when did you last change the mattess? open the window, get into a sleep routine etc 5. Relax-find 10 mins a day to just me (relaxation is a muscle-use it or lose it) 6. keep a diary 7. think seriously about what is productive in your life-and what is not. A bit like the House Dr-if it aint beautiful and/or useful. Why is it still in your life? are you spending energy/time/emotions in places that are dead? 8. if this feeling is pesistant-talk you your GP. taking anti depressants does not mean you are going to become an extra from the Shining, nor that you have to take them forever-but they can be Very useful 9 think about talking therapies: they can be brilliant but you have to be ready and committed or you will find a lot of crap rising to the surface you were not expecting 10 ring a friend-and talk. if you dont want to do that-see 6. 11. have plans: make decisions. give yourself a goal evry day (even if its empty the bins) so you can then give yourself some well earned praise-you completed a goal you set yourself-and starts challenging some of your thoughts about being a failure-gradually these small goals will increas. lastly-remember this too will pass. fee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ranirottie Posted January 3, 2009 Report Share Posted January 3, 2009 I get very low sometimes and find the best thing that helps me is talking to people and knowing that you have support when you feel very lonely. My hubby is a really good bloke that will do anything for me but tends to leave me alone when I get depressed. That doesn't really help me but it stops him getting shouted at for breathing wrong!! My dogs are a great comfort too as I love to walk when I go down,but of course it doesn't really help now that I can't walk very far some days and not at all on others. This forum,and a couple of others,really helps too because you get support and also get to know that other people feel like it too. Doing rescue also helps because once I have committed myself to a dog I have to get going to feed it,water it and socialise it. I have to get out of bed to spend time with it. BIG to all who are down.x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotslass Posted January 3, 2009 Report Share Posted January 3, 2009 for you too. I think having dogs makes a huge difference for me, I don't have children or a partner and I'm not sure I'd bothering getting out of bed some mornings if I didn't need to look after the dogs. I never 'said' that out loud before because it seems a bit melodramatic but being bounced on in the mornings definately helps. If I didn't have my dog, I'd be the same. Do you think maybe one of the problems (for everyone suffering from depression) is that it can all sound melodramatic or self-indulgent? My psychotherapist (see?...I can hardly say that with a straight face ) is encouraging me to ignore the vision of my mother rolling her eyes in the background. I find it hard to take myself seriously as it is; not helped by knowing that many people think it's a simple matter of giving yourself a kick up the bahookie, as we say in Scotland. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotslass Posted January 3, 2009 Report Share Posted January 3, 2009 11. have plans: make decisions. give yourself a goal evry day (even if its empty the bins) so you can then give yourself some well earned praise-you completed a goal you set yourself-and starts challenging some of your thoughts about being a failure-gradually these small goals will increas. fee Very helpful, all that advice. I highlighted this bit, though, because when I am really depressed, I don't care about plans, or the future, or rewarding myself, because nothing gets through to me. I do keep going through the motions of being a normal person, but since I don't feel normal, I don't care whether I appear to achieve anything or not. I feel a failure simply for not being able to manage what everyone else manages without angst, so I don't feel I deserve a reward, or to feel good, simply for doing what everyone else does as a matter of course, if that makes sense? I have taken anti-depressants in the past but had a scary withdrawal a few years ago and won't risk it now. I agree about talk therapy - I find it very easy to be distracted and just rabbit on about stuff (as you see....) - you really have to concentrate and have the right person. My hubby is a really good bloke that will do anything for me but tends to leave me alone when I get depressed. That doesn't really help me but it stops him getting shouted at for breathing wrong!! I so empathise with that! me: "I'm lonely; I feel fed up. I spend so much time alone here". him: "Do you want to go out for a meal? Watch a movie? Have a walk?" "No, not really". Then....an hour later..."I'm so lonely/fed up. Why don't we ever do anything?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudi Posted January 3, 2009 Report Share Posted January 3, 2009 my tips: 1. review your diet-start removing some of the crap and replacing it with something worthwhile (chocolate is gd for the odd down day-but not long term!) 2. cut out the caffeine-its a horrid poison that plays havoc with both mind & body 3. keep exercising-even when you dont want to. Research shows that exercise can be as good as anti depressants in all but the most severe cases 4.sleep more/better -when did you last change the mattess? open the window, get into a sleep routine etc 5. Relax-find 10 mins a day to just me (relaxation is a muscle-use it or lose it) 6. keep a diary 7. think seriously about what is productive in your life-and what is not. A bit like the House Dr-if it aint beautiful and/or useful. Why is it still in your life? are you spending energy/time/emotions in places that are dead? 8. if this feeling is pesistant-talk you your GP. taking anti depressants does not mean you are going to become an extra from the Shining, nor that you have to take them forever-but they can be Very useful 9 think about talking therapies: they can be brilliant but you have to be ready and committed or you will find a lot of crap rising to the surface you were not expecting 10 ring a friend-and talk. if you dont want to do that-see 6. 11. have plans: make decisions. give yourself a goal evry day (even if its empty the bins) so you can then give yourself some well earned praise-you completed a goal you set yourself-and starts challenging some of your thoughts about being a failure-gradually these small goals will increas. lastly-remember this too will pass. fee They are great tips - I'm going to print them off If I didn't have my dog, I'd be the same. Do you think maybe one of the problems (for everyone suffering from depression) is that it can all sound melodramatic or self-indulgent? My psychotherapist (see?...I can hardly say that with a straight face ) is encouraging me to ignore the vision of my mother rolling her eyes in the background. I find it hard to take myself seriously as it is; not helped by knowing that many people think it's a simple matter of giving yourself a kick up the bahookie, as we say in Scotland. Yeah, I agree completely. I wouldn't tell people in my family as it would be impossible to verbalise anything to them. My mother probably wouldn't roll her eyes, but it would rapidly become how it affected her and my father would do a guilt trip about how worried my mum is about me. I would never have written that about my parents a few years ago, it would have felt (still does and probably is) disloyal but it's true! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heva Posted January 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 3, 2009 i was given a book this week by MIL and im not a big reader at all but read the first chapter and thought WOW they have wrote this about me!!! called how to lift depression ....fast by joe griffin and ivan tyrrell here on amazon LINK got 4 1/2 * on there! i am only first chapter in ,,,,,,,,, introduction!!! THE MANY REASONS FOR HOPE If you are reading this book, it is likely you or someone you care about is suffering from depression. Or maybe you are interested because your work brings you into contact with people who are depressed and you want to know how to help them. If it is you who are depressed, the fact that you are looking at this book is a good sign in itself, as it shows that you are motivated to get yourself better. If you are concerned about someone else, who seems too deeply depressed to want to do anything for themselves, then this book – although ‘addressed’ to the person with depression – will give you practical advice for helping them take the first crucial step towards recovery, and the many steps that will then follow on much more easily. You may find this book startling and exciting because it could shake up a lot of ideas you had about depression and make you feel much more empowered to deal with it. For instance, people commonly don’t realise that: – depression is not a biological illness – there is a simple explanation for the feelings of dire exhaustion, lack of motivation and tearfulness that accompany depression and they can usually be easily shifted – understanding what depression really is, is the first powerful step towards cure – drugs are not the best treatment – psychological approaches should not be painful; effective counselling should make you feel better immediately, not worse – 75 per cent of people come out of depression with no help at all within six months, and much more quickly with the right kind of help. We hope you will find this book uplifting and that it will help you to get out of depression (or help you bring others out of depression) faster than you would ever have imagined. Some people recover fastest with the assistance of a professional, so we also provide information to enable you to recognise the kind of counsellors who will be effective as well as empathetic. This is so important. Counsellors may be nice, sympathetic and offer a listening ear, but that alone rarely cures depression. And those ‘psychotherapists’ who endlessly explore your past and psychoanalyse it are known to make depression worse. Through case histories, we show you how effective counsellors can work swiftly to help you lift depression and move on with your life. We are not going to tell you to "cheer up" or to "snap out of it" or even to "look on the bright side". Before you can do anything to deal with depression, you need the correct knowledge and tools. Over the past 20 years, we have worked with hundreds of depressed people, young and old. We know that what cures depression isn’t dwelling on it, "seeing it through" or digging deeper into it by looking for the ‘whys’ and ‘wherefores’. What helps is getting the depressed person to stop worrying and get their basic physical and emotional needs met, stop brain exhaustion and rebuild their energy levels and self confidence. We call this the human givens approach to therapy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Posted January 3, 2009 Report Share Posted January 3, 2009 I think I am probably depressed through stress at work (reorganisation), preparing to move house somewhen this year, having eldest move back home and not getting any time to myself but I don't want to admit it to anyone Funny how I can say something here but not to family/friends Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tempest Posted January 3, 2009 Report Share Posted January 3, 2009 I can totally sympathise as I'm feeling really down at the moment I managed to hurt my back a few weeks ago and it doesn't seem to be getting much better and I'm struggling to give the dogs their usual walkies If I go to the fields walking on the uneven ground seems to make it worse but then if I street walk Jess she pulls a fair bit (even on her harness) and that aggravates it too. I'm a bit rubbish when I'm in pain and its really starting to get me down a bit Unfortuantely Chris' bad ankle is really playing up (due to lots of sporting relating breaks over the years) so he's hobbling everywhere and can't walk the dogs at all as he's in a worst state than me Plus on top of that I've got to start supply teaching on Monday for the first time after having some real job uncertainty so I'm worrying about how that's going to work out/if my back is going to be okay and if its not what I'm going to do for cash The final straw this week was finding out that the dog walker can't walk the dogs any more and frantically trying to find someone else and then meeting someone today and feeling a bit worried about what I made of them really (post in chatter explains all). I know in the scheme of things that these are probably all quite minor things but I just feel pants about everything at the moment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spins4me Posted January 3, 2009 Report Share Posted January 3, 2009 Good to have this topic. I've struggled with depression for most of my life and guilt because I'm depressed and my life is really pretty ok - so why be depressed? I'm sure people know the feeling. I've just decided to add this and I've never told anyone before that my Mum always derided the fact that I felt depressed. She reckoned it was showing weakness and I had to pull myself together and my Dad was a "We all have to do things we don't want to do" type of person. It was as if I could never acknowledge my true feelings and had to put a brave face on. It truly messed me up. I have read a lot and looked at a lot of alternative therapies for helping the low feelings. The following have improved things for me: High strength omega 3 and 6 oils Good quality vitB complex Eating a decent diet - as much fruit and veg as you can No caffeine Drink lots of water Exercise every day (walking the dogs is as good as anything) Adequate rest When I went through a very bad patch last year I asked for Reiki from ReikiAnge and it helped a lot. Ange also suggested the Distant Healing Network and I think that helped too. Unfortunately I've hit a low patch again but am getting over flu/lurgy and reckon I'll feel better once I'm completely over it. Many for those who are suffering. Don't keep it to yourselves and whatever you do acknowledge it and don't soldier on without asking for help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heva Posted January 3, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 3, 2009 (edited) think healing is a massive powrful thing!!! i go local healing rooms....altho not when im really down as cant face it! But went last year and had knee healed!! believe it can do the none physicaslly too LOCAL HEALING ROOMS to find your local healing rooms!!!! tempest: is there a field you can go to where you dont have to walk much and just geta chuck it for dogs so can throw ball far with little effort!!! its not brilliant but they get to run and you not get un even surfaces!!! also look at massage therapy to get muscles relaxing or the link above! spins: few people have mentioned going caffine free....i knwoif i dont have diet coke by 12 then i get a rotten head ache but i can never face the head ahce to get off it!!!! does it make that much of a difference going without it!! Edited January 3, 2009 by heva Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotslass Posted January 3, 2009 Report Share Posted January 3, 2009 i was given a book this week by MIL and im not a big reader at all but read the first chapter and thought WOW they have wrote this about me!!! You may find this book startling and exciting because it could shake up a lot of ideas you had about depression and make you feel much more empowered to deal with it. For instance, people commonly don’t realise that: – depression is not a biological illness – there is a simple explanation for the feelings of dire exhaustion, lack of motivation and tearfulness that accompany depression and they can usually be easily shifted – understanding what depression really is, is the first powerful step towards cure – drugs are not the best treatment – psychological approaches should not be painful; effective counselling should make you feel better immediately, not worse – 75 per cent of people come out of depression with no help at all within six months, and much more quickly with the right kind of help. Can I just add that I've read dozens of these books - this one sounds sensible, but there's rarely anything unique in them...and they are making money for their author, remember. Just don't take on board everything they say; every depressed person will recognise themselves in a book such as this, and the advice may suit some, but not necessarily all. I've been to counsellors who were useless (sorry, but it's true - a basic counselling course doesn't equip a person to deal with seriously depressed people) and am very sceptical generally. I chose my current therapist on the basis that she has a background in psychology and she doesn't encourage endless navel-gazing. I'll be going for another couple of sessions, and that's it for me. I have found books helpful in the past, but any which promise a quick fix are lying - you have to alter your way of looking at the world, and that is never simple. For the others who are facing life changes such as new jobs, new relationships, new homes, health problems, changes in routine and lack of support - these are among the most stressful challenges humans face. It's normal to feel overwhelmed and defeated sometimes and it's no wonder that depression creeps in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotslass Posted January 3, 2009 Report Share Posted January 3, 2009 think healing is a massive powrful thing!!! i go local healing rooms....altho not when im really down as cant face it! But went last year and had knee healed!! believe it can do the none physicaslly too LOCAL HEALING ROOMS to find your local healing rooms!!!! tempest: is there a field you can go to where you dont have to walk much and just geta chuck it for dogs so can throw ball far with little effort!!! its not brilliant but they get to run and you not get un even surfaces!!! also look at massage therapy to get muscles relaxing or the link above! spins: few people have mentioned going caffine free....i knwoif i dont have diet coke by 12 then i get a rotten head ache but i can never face the head ahce to get off it!!!! does it make that much of a difference going without it!! I will stop posting soon, honest! Do try to get off the caffeine - the fact that you have a headache without it suggests that you're already 'addicted', I think. I was like that with coffee, and you just have to endure the discomfort till it goes. I tend to eat chocolate when I'm down, and that does me no good whatever. I'm afraid that my body doesn't tell me what it needs. It shouts "I need chocolate, sweet things, cheese, cake!!" when really it should be begging me to eat more lentil broth. Can I just ask what you mean about your knee being "healed", Heva? I thought it was still causing you pain? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts