KathyM Posted August 7, 2007 Report Share Posted August 7, 2007 My daughter is 8. She has her own play makeup but is not allowed out of the house in it. She has borrowed my lipgloss before (clear, not shiny/glittery) because she likes the taste more than owt. She won't be allowed to dye her hair or go out with makeup on until she's of reasonable age to. Her skin is beautiful, her hair is like spun gold, chocolate and copper all mixed together and I can't see any reason for her to want to change or primp one single bit of herself, now or in the future (it may well tip me over the edge if she ever decides to change her hair especially). She doesn't want piercings thank God. When I had my first son, we were approached when he hit large baby size by a modelling agent who asked us if we'd considered modelling him. He was a beautiful baby, big loops of blond wavey hair and huuuuge Orville eyes. The idea of modelling him made me very uncomfortable indeed, I didn't want him to be the subject of some paedophile's urges, so we declined. That's how I feel about my daughter being "tarted up" too. She is not allowed tarty clothes, slogan tops, etc. Other than me feeling uncomfortable with her going out with such clothes on (and we've had a lot passed on to us from friends of the family), it also looks cheap/tacky to me. Now my second son was a whole different kettle of fish. From the age of two he was raiding my makeup back and doing himself up like Marilyn Manson (apparently aiming to look like me, and I don't wear much at all, so he got that a bit wrong!). I look at my kids and see how utterly beautiful they are and I think 1. I never looked that way *lol*, and 2. they're too gorgeous to be altered to fit some manky Playboy-preteen image. But who can be surprised it's come to this with the kind of people revered in the media, who spend more on slap than on feeding themselves evidently, who are plastered all over the press showing how little morals they've got, etc etc. I think of that Pink song - Stupid Girls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phoenix Posted August 7, 2007 Report Share Posted August 7, 2007 my eldest is almost 14 and although she is at her happiest in jeans and tatty trainers, no make up, running around a boggy field with the dogs, or potholing & getting covered from head to toe in mud, she does also stand in front of the mirror for ages straightening her (coloured) hair with my straighteners and putting a little bit of make up on, dressing up to go out, is her best jeans (which cost less than a tenner) and clean a tee shirt (usually one of mine) she doesn't ask for much in the way of designer stuff, if she does she will ask me to look on ebay for her, shes never had pocket money, she gets wages, so if she wants to buy anything she has to earn it like the rest of us, doing chores ect. unfortunately all her friends get exactly what they want, & alot of her friends smoke too, she swears that she will never be that stupid after watching 3 grandparents die of smoking related diseases and watch me being resuscitated after a asthma attack 6years ago (i gave up after that) so i do let her colour her hair and Nick all my clothes and wear a bit of make up on occasion, i dont think i'm a bad mum for giving a little bit of leway, i have a good relationship with her but i do have a line and she knows that if she crosses it, the do do will hit the fan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laura g Posted August 7, 2007 Report Share Posted August 7, 2007 all the talk of hair colouring is making me laught over something i did a few years back. Remember when it was red hair day rather than red nose? Had a letter from school - kids could go in with red hair. I left it too late to buy spray. All sold out. So being a competitive mum....I got them 3 shaders and toners. Each. The reddest one. Slung it on their heads, covered with tinfoil and in a hot steamy bathroom. For an hour. God they looked brilliant. But (and you'll laugh) it wouldnt come out. They spent around a month with gently fading hair. Son's went lilac, which actually looked really nice and he loved. It gave them both a taste for hair colours. Fun is fine, although I am more careful these days. What Phoenix says is right. It's all about finding a balance. Except when it involves leggings. There is no argument in the world for those hideous monstrosities!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirtychicken Posted August 8, 2007 Report Share Posted August 8, 2007 I completely agree that the children and parents in the article have got it all wrong - they are still children, despite what they might like to think My children are home educated so do not have to deal with the peer pressure crap from school and are advancing at their own pace. Both of them have had their hair bleached and coloured in bizarre colours at some point purely because that's the way of the home-ed festival world and because I usually have pink hair. Both of them now have fairly natural hair with just a bit of bleach left on the ends. They both have their ears pierced - my daughter has one piercing in each ear and my son has 2 piercings in one ear. My son intends to have his eyebrow pierced at 16. My daughter wants no more piercings at all, ever. I tend to take the attitude that if their hair goes horribly wrong, it can be cut off and it will grow back and if they have piercings that they don't like/regret or they become infected, then they can be taken out and left to heal. My son is already planning his first tattoo - in 7 years' time - and I am much more wary of this, despite having tattoos myself, because they are permanent. I can't believe how much time I'm already wasting arguing this point with him My son has hair that is halfway down his back and is gorgeous (when he bothers to brush it!) but is, to all intents and purposes, a typical teenager in every other way (he's only 11): refusing any advice about keeping clean; refusing any advice about what to wear - but he also has to deal with the consequences if he has chosen to ignore motherly suggestions about what is suitable to wear for the current weather and she is proven to be correct My 9 year old daughter is a strange one. She's very much a tomboy but also loves to dress up. Very into pink and sparkly, but also black and skulls. She went through a phase when she was about 5 of wanting to wear make-up and I let her because she was having fun (and also had very large streaks of blue above her eyes and red lipstick all over her chin and looked more like a clown than a Lolita!). That lasted about 3 days. She does still like make-up but now chooses just to wear a little bit of sparkly eyeshadow or slightly tinted lip gloss if she's going to a party or some other special occasion. I don't see any harm in this. The vast majority of her clothing involves trousers (her favourite at the moment is her denim dungarees) and t-shirts. She tends to prefer t-shirts proclaiming her attitude ("whatever") rather than her gender ("babe") but does, overall, have a very mature attitude towards her clothing and likes to look nice - although she is currently wearing cut off tracky bottoms and a very old Bart Simpson t-shirt. She has always been very conscious about being co-ordinated since she was little and I swear that that had nothing to do with me, as I'm sure anyone who has met me could vouch for! Ultimately, I think she's going to end up being a "rock chick" which may well involve short skirts just as much as it will long, baggy jeans. I'm trying very hard to give them the freedom to explore who they are and what they like without much interference, but I think I am probably lucky that they haven't attempted to push things as far as the kids in the article and so haven't had to deal with anything major. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cockergirl Posted August 12, 2007 Report Share Posted August 12, 2007 I find that article horribly disturbing, in fact I couldn't even finish reading it I feel very sorry for those poor kids, as one of their own mothers said 'what's left for them?'... it's actually very sad. They're not having a childhood at all, adulthood lasts such a long time there is plenty of time for all that stuff but you only get a very short shot of being a child. I can't believe these little girls are worried about fake tan and waxing their legs, it really is sad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cycas Posted August 13, 2007 Report Share Posted August 13, 2007 Perhaps when they get to 16 they will stop bothering with it all and become surf babes, all salty hair, sandy flipflops and no makeup. Or get into hiking with just 2 tshirts and a pair of jeans to take with them. Or stay up all night drinking and discussing Sophocles or philology. I defy anyone to look groomed and sophisticated when they've had several pints and spent the night arguing over the evolution of languages, no matter how hairless their legs. Hope so anyway. I don't see any great harm in kids dying their hair or having piercings or makeup, even if they do that in a nontraditional order before most other people do it - but it seems like they'd be missing a lot if they get stuck on that stage and don't try anything else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elricc Posted August 13, 2007 Report Share Posted August 13, 2007 I don't have a problem with any piercing, hair dye etc as long as its is fun, rather than an attempt to sexualise a child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jakeysmum Posted August 19, 2007 Report Share Posted August 19, 2007 I don't mind girls experimenting with hair and makeup even piercings etc but I think these are very young, they don't need fake tan and surely they don't have any hair on their legs to shave? (where did they get those ideas?) clothes can be a hard one, a lot of the time I find it hard to find nice 'little girl' clothes to fit my 8 year old. They vary their styles day to day, rock chick one day, tom boy the next, pink princess another. I do remember a time though when my teen couldn't even answer the door if she wasn't wearing makeup and hadn't straightened her hair to death. Now she is 16 she has grown out of that! I think these girls are encouraged by their parents to act far too grown up and sexualised, like mini me's instead of little girls xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathyM Posted September 6, 2007 Report Share Posted September 6, 2007 http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2007340...tr=TheSun:Woman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happylittlegreensquirrel Posted September 6, 2007 Report Share Posted September 6, 2007 what dreadfully low self esteem that girl must have really behind all the mask she wears few quotes that really stood out to me Sasha, who lives with her construction worker dad Martin, 34, her mum, and brother Max, seven, in Burnley, Lancs, already mimics her mum’s views. The pair giggle and Jayne looks on approvingly as her girl says: “If you’re walking down the street and you’re ugly nobody is going to want to talk to you and you won’t have any friends.†Sasha says: “I just want to be pretty because then people will like me.†When asked what she thinks life would be like if she wasn’t pretty, Sasha, glancing over at her mum, says: “My mum would just call me ugly. Everyone would call me ugly. I wouldn’t like that at all.†the little girl needs some help , the mother needs a kick up her arse ( v hard ) before she does any more damage to her daughter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanishPastry Posted September 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2007 I almost couldn't finish reading that. What awful stress to put on your own child. Do these parents not know what they are doing? Children, and teenagers especially, can soon enough go down the "I'm fat and ugly" route, they sure as hell don't need their own parents to agree with them. I can't have any respect for a person who claims that no one will want to get to know you if your hair is a mess. What an air-brained comment to make. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ingipops Posted September 7, 2007 Report Share Posted September 7, 2007 That is so sad, her mother needs some stern words in her ear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KathyM Posted September 7, 2007 Report Share Posted September 7, 2007 http://geo.channel4.com/life/microsites/W/...philosophy.html Seems Mummy Dearest was on Wife Swap a while back. Corr she seems delightful! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jemimap Posted September 7, 2007 Report Share Posted September 7, 2007 I saw that episode, she is dreadful. Some people shouldn't be allowed kids Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DanishPastry Posted September 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2007 what a transparent fecking cow. I hope all her "looks" go one day, and she gets blind so she can't see what other people look like. Moron Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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