What Sort Of Country Do We Live In

[Ian]

sorry, Ill be back, need to sort spinning head out first now

 

I'm so sorry We've never met or spoken and so I can only imagine your spinning head and feelings right now but I guess I'm wondering whether there is anything that I or anyone here can do or say to help you?

 

Ian

[GSDFan]

I don't particularly want to get into the why's/wherefores etc. of the debate because other people are much more knowledgable than me and in this instance definately better at getting the point across. However, I'd just like to ask a question ( and give my opinion on the answer which may be wrong )

 

Do you think more or less children are abused now than were abused say 50 years ago and 100 years ago ?

 

My feeling, and I'll admit it is no more than a feeling, is that there are no more abused children ( and quite possibly less ) than there used to be. The difference is that there is more publicity and people are slightly more inclined to come forward, this makes us believe that abuse is a bigger problem than it used to be.

 

BTW - I'm not in any way suggesting that abuse is OK, just that it is nothing new.

[Wendbert]

Ok, its getting late and soon there won't be many of us staff types on to keep an eye on things, so as this is a sensitive topic, I'm going to close it over night

[snow]

If we go back over 100 years or so it used to be acceptable to have sexual relationships with children over the age of 10 you could even marry them; nowadays we call that wrong and child abuse. In some countries you can still marry under the age of 16 - you may be surprised to learn it is still legal in the USA in certain states to marry at aged 15 or below; in New Hampshire the legal age for a female is 13 and a male it's 14 for this to take place the consent is needed by all parents and by the court.

 

I would agree with you Jackie this isn't a new thing, abuse sexual, physical and emotional has gone on pretty much at the same levels for decades - C4 or BBC 2 (can't remember which one) did an amazing and moving documentary where elderly women were interviewed about their experiences of abuse - I use it as part of my training courses - these were women talking about their childhoods going back before 1900 and their stories were the same as those I still hear today, but back then they didn't dare talk about it.

 

I've had women in their 90's call me up just to share with "someone" what happened to them, just so "someone" knew and heard their pain, they'd carried it all those years without ever being able to tell anyone and before they died they needed someone - anyone - to know what they'd been through. In the majority of cases where it's someone over 60 disclosing to me it's because their husband or wife has recently passed away so there's no one left living that can possibly be hurt by them telling their stories. They have lived all those years with the shame and the pain locked away inside them and even after all that time it was still fresh and raw and impacting upon their lives.

 

Yes these days there are more people disclosing and that's a good thing over all, however it's still not an easy thing to do nor is it always a positive step for the victim, it still leaves them incredibly vulnerable simply because the myths and victim blaming are still going on and people still are not comfortable thinking too deeply about this subject.