It's taken me all night to reply to this Kazz, partly because it makes me cry and partly because some of what I'm about to say reveals more about me than I usually do
I probably know exactly how you are feeling at the moment, I don't ever stop mourning my Bridge dogs but it hurts less as the years go on, I hope eventually you'll find you remember the good times with Max more than you'll remember the hurt of losing him. I know I will with mine, if i didn't I don't think I would ever get out of the place I'm in at the moment.
I think your friend was very insensitive but I don't think you should feel she is less of a friend. She may have just been tactless or she may just not understand the bond.
The night we lost Lasso we went out for a drink at a friends house. I had a good cry on Dave's shoulder and he had the utmost sympathy for us, although he fully admits he can't understand why we would get upset over a dog. He has a dog of his own, it is pampered, loved, played with etc., he is actually a very good owner but when it dies he won't be particularly upset, he just doesn't have that bond and never does have with a dog or a cat.
In some ways I understand that because with the exception of my Dad I have never really mourned the death of a human. Although I have lost a few friends over the years none of them have ever upset me as much as losing a dog. The bond I have with my dogs and with dogs belonging to some of my friends is greater than the bond I have with the majority of humans. I know damn well that if I had lost 3 human friends in less than 12 months I wouldn't be hurting anywhere near as much as I am from losing 3 dogs.