Abortion

[riley]

I'm 100% with Cheryl, 24 weeks is far far far too late. But I am pro choice. I had an abortion at 6 weeks many years ago, it wasnt a descision I made lightly but as hard as it was and is to some extent I know I did the best *I* felt *I* could.

 

To take a way that choice would result in back street abortionists and who wants to go back there? My mother was forced into an abortion in the late '50's by her parents and remembers travelling home on a bus with a piece of tubing inside her and her mother catching the feotus in a bucket several hours later.

[wickychoo]

When they were debating this in the media last year, 20 weeks I think was the suggested time to bring the limit to, and 22 for exceptional circumstances. I could be talking twoddle here, but given the advances in neo-natal care and the amount of premature babies that survive at 24 weeks perhaps it is time to review the limits.

 

 

 

I know there will be women out there that will encounter issues with this (eg through un-noticed pregnancy etc) but surely a termination that late is severely traumatic to all involved?

[Gemstone]

Pro life.

[riley]

Without wishing to offend and honestly just being curious, to the pro lifers - is it a blanket statement or are there exceptions such as family rape?

[Melp]

Pro choice but agree that the limit of 24 weeks is way too late. I actually think 16 weeks is too late as well but that was the time at which I'd have had to terminate if my sons tests had come back positive.

 

Very difficult decision regardless of circumstances.

[Happylittlegreensquirrel]

Without wishing to offend and honestly just being curious, to the pro lifers - is it a blanket statement or are there exceptions such as family rape?

 

 

I don't mind answering at all and I am not at all offended

 

 

to me being pro life is my personal choice and its about what choices are right to me in the normal course of events ( i.e getting pregnant after consenting to sex ) I don't know what I would do or feel if I had been raped as I have never been in that situation and I would not feel it appropriate for me to comment on that as I would just be guessing at my response

 

equally although I have my own views they are just that and I would not force my view point on others in fact I have assisted some one to have an termination and it enforced to me how difficult a decision it is for a woman to make

 

8 years ago my lodger became pregnant after a drunken one night stand with her married boss, she had no family and no one to help her at all, I offered her the chance to stay at my house and have her baby if she wanted but she decided she wanted to have a termination and asked me to help her.

 

I admit I thought it was easy to get an termination and I was shocked at how hard it really is, I took her to her GP ( I think we had to go twice ) and then she was referred to the local Hospital, I understand that this was to see a 2nd doctor as we were advised that 2 doctors had to agree to her having the termination. Now at this point I thought she would get an appointment at our local hospital and I was amazed that the clinic was actually in Lemington Spa ( we lived in Milton Keynes )

 

now my lodger had no transport and its not a journey thats covered by public transport , luckily I had a car and was able to book the day off work to take her, when we arrived at the clinic my lodger asked me if I minded if she put me down as her next of kin ( she really did have no one else in the world ) I sat with her as long as I was allowed and then I waited in a waiting room until they called me to collect her and gave me instructions on caring for her

 

when my lodger was discharged later that day and I looked after her whilst she recovered from the physical side and attempted to help her as much as I could with the mental effects ( she suffered mild depression for a while and I arranged counselling for her ) . At no point did I judge her or her choices, she asked me to help her and I felt that it my views were irrelevant to the situation

 

One thing that occurred to me was what happens to woman who have no one to help them, I don't know what help would have been offered to her if I had not been there. She was told at the hospital that she had to have an adult accompany her to the clinic and if she came alone she could not have the termination

 

 

Sam

[Owlish]

Pro choice. I think that a wpman has a right to choose - choice being the operative word here. I don't believe that it's an easy choice (maybe there are some exceptions here), but I think for most people it's the hardest, most hurtful thing they'll ever go through.

 

If you think it's easy, try empathising with the one who goes under the anaesthetic in tears and comes round in tears, and spends years trying to get over it. And STILL knows that it was the right choice.

[redditchlady]

Ok its a bit late, I know, but I am for the choice. I had an abortion when I was 16. My parents were unaware as I went through Leamington family planning clinic. Please dont judge me. I was too young to bring up a child. I was an apprentice hairdresser on £27.50 a week. How could I have given a child a good upbringing. I was a baby myself.

 

I don't regret the decision, but, my daughter knows. I was honest with her from when she was old enough to understand. 12 years old when I told her the truth. We were talking about unwanted pregnancies etc. I won't lie to my flesh and blood. Although my Mum went to her grave not knowing. Not even my Dad knows. My daughter knows, Dave my OH knows and my ex hubby.

 

Ok slate me tomorrow, but it was the right thing to do at the time. I will understand if I get ignored tomorrow but I feel that I should be honest here and hope I'm not judged.

 

Kazz xx

[riley]

Ok slate me tomorrow, but it was the right thing to do at the time. I will understand if I get ignored tomorrow but I feel that I should be honest here and hope I'm not judged.

 

Kazz xx

 

'Knowing' people on here, I don't think anyone would ever judge you, support you yes, judge you no x

 

 

And thank you Sam for answering. I went to a very strict Catholic school and we watched videos from SPUC and it really was rather militant at times, girls that had terminations were to spend all eternity in the blazing fires of hell etc etc, having said that they still kicked you out if you got pregnant and decided to keep it

 

Having had Jack, I find it harder to reconcile myself with my choice all those years ago but I still think it was the right descision for me at that time.

 

So to summarise,

 

Yes I'm pro Choice

Yes I think the limit should be reduced to 12 weeks

and yes I think each 'case' should be judged independantly and greater restrictions (such as what???) should be in place to prevent abortion being used as a late form of contraception.

[our little godsend]

Ok its a bit late, I know, but I am for the choice. I had an abortion when I was 16. My parents were unaware as I went through Leamington family planning clinic. Please dont judge me. I was too young to bring up a child. I was an apprentice hairdresser on £27.50 a week. How could I have given a child a good upbringing. I was a baby myself.

 

I don't regret the decision, but, my daughter knows. I was honest with her from when she was old enough to understand. 12 years old when I told her the truth. We were talking about unwanted pregnancies etc. I won't lie to my flesh and blood. Although my Mum went to her grave not knowing. Not even my Dad knows. My daughter knows, Dave my OH knows and my ex hubby.

 

Ok slate me tomorrow, but it was the right thing to do at the time. I will understand if I get ignored tomorrow but I feel that I should be honest here and hope I'm not judged.

 

Kazz xx

 

 

Nobody is going to ignore you Kazz

[jackin]

for me its pro life unless the life of mum is in danger or baby is so damaged has no change of life.

I understand others feel different but do not feel I have the right to chose life or death for another human being but have no right to judge anyone else who sees things differently.

[KathyM]

I think that the majority of people would agree that 24 weeks is far far far to late to terminate a pregnancy unless there are exceptional circumstances ( what ever there views on terminations in general )

 

I go against the majority, because I think 24 weeks is okay. It's always going to be something that gets argued over, but 24 weeks is the generally accepted "line" between a baby making it or not making it (I know there are exceptions, but at 24 weeks a baby is still unlikely to survive, but is at that point labelled "viable").

 

To be fair, I didn't know I was pregnant with Connie until I was 12 or 13 weeks. If I'd had doubts over a termination, I would've needed time to make a decision. Lowering the stage of pregnancy at which terminations are carried out only limits choice and forces women to carry unwanted children.

 

Edited because I need to drink coffee before I post in future. I don't mean to sound disrespectful to anyone's views

 

Edited again to say I'm not ignoring you Kazz

Edited April 28, 2006 by KathyM

[Happylittlegreensquirrel]

I tried to google the answer to my next question but could not actually find the answer

 

 

does any one know if the number of baby's placed for adoption has fallen since abortion was legalised in the UK

[chasta]

Kazz.. I dont think anyone will judge or ignore you..

 

When I was younger I was exclusively pro life, I couldnt see how anyone had the right to choose if another 'person' lives or dies... but obviously then I was young and an idealist, with rose tinted specs

 

Now I am pro choice, Ive lived enough to see how a baby and its mother can suffer, have worked with severly disabled kids (not saying they should have been got shot of) and how pregnancies can happen through hate and violence...

 

I still am anti abortion as a form of contraceptive, and would like to see the cut off date lowered other than in exceptional and medical circumstances.. but accept that a woman / family needs the right to choose an have the support to make the right decision

[pboae]

I think, from a previous thread, that I am in a minority of one in my views here, but here goes.

 

I am definitely pro-choice, I think there are far too many humans in the world already, and I would like contraception to be the answer to that, but if that fails, then I have no problem at all with abortion.

 

I could easily end up at 24 weeks and not know I was pregnant. I have an implant contraception, so I don't have periods, and neither my Mum nor my sister showed as pregnant on pregnancy tests. My sister said she knew when she was a few months gone with her oldest, but couldn't convince the Dr. For my Mum, the first she knew was when my sister (the eldest) started moving. If I ever did find myself pregnant, I would do anything within my power to have an abortion, whatever stage the pregnancy was at. At least I hope I would, it would be the right thing for me to do. (But of course the point of being pro-choice is that I can see that that would just be the decision for me, and would not be appropriate for everyone).

 

Aside from population control, I would still be in favour of abortion being legal. I absolutely do not accept the argument that abortion is 'OK' for a rape victim, but not for someone else. If a baby is an innocent life, that has a right to life, then that right is absolute, regardless of any wishes of the woman, or how it came to be conceived. How can it be OK to abort that baby, but not one that was just the result of contraception failure or even just carelessness? No matter how vicious or disturbing it's conception, it's not the baby's fault. The only 'logic' I can see behind it is basically mysogyny. A woman's emotional distress is recognised after a rape because she is 'innocent' too, but other women's distress is somehow less valid or relevant, after all there is a long social history of women being 'punished' for having sex.

 

But, having said all that, I do wish there was less stigma attached to adoption, and particularly in giving babies up for adoption. Having an abortion might raise a few eyebrows, but having a baby and giving it up for adoption seems to be seen as a lot more shocking these days. I think that is really depressing and sad, to have women having abortions who would rather not, but equally know they can't care for the child, whilst other women are putting themselves through all sorts of fertility procedures because they can't have a baby.

 

I know adoption isn't for everyone, but there's rarely a problem placing 'normal' healthy newborn babies, and maybe even more people would consider it, if it wasn't such a bureaucratic nightmare, and they actually had a decent chance of having a healthy newborn baby at the end of it.