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Agony Aunt Advice Please


Jazz

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Ive been asked to put this up, the lady would like to stay anonamous

 

my mother keeps bringing lads home to foster. none have caught my eye like this one. hes dark and handsome. Mother has been told he like to play,so ive danced in front of him, cryed, even ... shown him my bum, but he only has eyes for my brother and my mum.

Do you think hes gay? should I keep trying?

 

heartbroken of essex

 

ps whens he going so I can try the next one

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Dear Heartbroken of Essex,

 

The foster lad is probably rather confused by everything, and needs time to get used to his surroundings. A full-on, in-yer-face gal like you may be too much for him. Back off and ignore him for a bit, then approach gently and try a gentle kiss, or bring him a nice present to show how much you love him. It really gets results, and means I get kisses and snuggles from lads who are 6 generations younger than I am.

 

Mind you, my trollop of a housemate gets results by rolling on her back waving her legs in the air, then scent marking on their heads and challenging them to a few rounds of extreme kung-fu. But she has no taste and attracts some rough types.

 

Yours sincerely,

Aunt Polly

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Dear Heartbroken,

 

I have to say I have no idea what you are complaining about - I spend most of my time having to swear in a ladylike manner at dogs who INSIST on sniffing my gorgeous bottom without so much as a by your leave! Why you want to encourage such behaviour is beyond me, perhaps the poor boy is intimidated by your shocking intentions?

 

Yours with disapproval

 

Ms Farah

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dear aunt polly

 

I showed my gentle side by letting him in my crate and taking a toy out and not killing him, and then he started to play. I didnt know what to do and screamed!

we played a bit later, so im a happy girl :biggrin: :biggrin:

 

 

happy of essex

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dear aunt polly

 

I showed my gentle side by letting him in my crate and taking a toy out and not killing him, and then he started to play. I didnt know what to do and screamed!

we played a bit later, so im a happy girl :biggrin: :biggrin:

 

 

happy of essex

 

Dear Happy of Essex,

 

So pleased that your gentle manners have won his heart :flowers:

 

Always ready to help,

 

Aunt Polly

 

PS from Aunt Polly's mum ... as her advice has been so successful, maybe she should start her own agony column for dogs? :laugh: :unsure: She is very good at telling dogs and people what she thinks they should be doing.

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