'you Can't See Your Son - But Can He Have One Of Your Organs?'

[Nettie]

http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk/femail/artic...al-dilemma.html

 

Just wanted to see what you all made of this article - to me its seems astonishing and immoral.

[Rudi]

On the surface it seems awful and unbelievable, but I wonder if there's more to it than has been printed??

[Nettie]

On the surface it seems awful and unbelievable, but I wonder if there's more to it than has been printed??

 

 

Well there is always that as with any newspaper story but that is all we have to comment on.

[Kats inc]

In my experience it is always preferable for any child to be placed with a relative rather than foster care.Something about this story does not ring true.

[cycas]

yes, it is kind of odd. I must say that although I don't trust any newspapers particularly, I would apply a particularly generous pinch of salt to the Mail on Sunday.

[BeadyP]

I agree about a pinch of salt being needed, but I wanted to highlight this paragraph -

 

But to know that, if I don’t donate an organ, my son might not live long enough to know me has put me in the worst situation of all. I’m in a dilemma about what to do. I feel I am being asked to make a decision in a vacuum. If I could just see my son and maintain some sort of contact, I would have absolutely no hesitation about doing it.’

 

Does sound like if he doesnt get his way, he will let his son die......kind of scary behaviour.

[Shazzy]

To my mind he is probably being asked to donate a kidney - if that was my son whether I knew him or not I would still donate. I would probably still donate even if it wasnt my child knowing that this person needed it.

 

Mind you the state of my kidneys (perfectly preserved in Vodka) Im not sure any one would want them.

[ranirottie]

if it was my child there would be no doubt that I would donate an organ,whether I was able to see the child or not. There is something very strange there. If he is a decent man ,appears to be married to a church person/vicar (if thats his wife) and has raised two sons surely it would just be a formality to adopt his own flesh and blood. There must be a very good reason why he is not only denied adoption but access as well. I used to foster for the Social Services and some of the parents were pure scum,junkies,drunks,abusers but the kids were still encouraged to see them.Something is not right. x

[jacqui d]

the first reader to comment on the story wrote:-

 

MMMmmmmm. Dare I be the first to say that we don't know the full facts in this case? It struck me as strange that this article begins by saying ..

" A meeting with this new-found son was out of the question, he was told, let alone any sort of relationship. He was also informed that the boy was to be formally adopted and that the council was ringing merely to let him know"

 

Later, we are told "Meanwhile, two independent social workers were assigned to assess Michael and Alex as potential parents for Andrew. It was, by all accounts. a rigorous process ...... over a dozen visits...."

 

It would seem to me that if two social workers have visited on over a dozen occasions to 'assess this couple as potential parents', then they have been seriously considering placing this boy with his real father. I don't know what the reasons were for not placing Andrew with his father but I do know that it is not social workers but a Judge who makes these decisions and presumably he had good reasons.

 

 

which does make me wonder if there is much more to the story than has been stated and like others, im uncomfortable with the dad pondering over the organ donation, regardless of where or with whom a child lives, surely if a parent has the ability to prolong the chlds life, they would do so without hesitation.

 

that said, we all know how reporters twist words to enflame an article so i think i will sit on the fence where im most comfortable with reports such as this one

[cycas]

I dunno - if it's a major organ donation he could well be shortening his own life, he has other children, he has a wife. If I were one of his kids, I'm not sure how I would feel about my father taking that kind of risk for a child that he didn't choose, will never meet, and is only linked to him by a purely biological connection. I wouldnt' expect a sperm donor to take that kind of risk for a child born from his sperm, and OK, this is a slightly closer connection but still...

 

If a complete stranger needed my kidney and I had no ties, I would consider it - but I'm pretty sure that my husband and family would try their best to talk me out of it. I'd be more likely to want to do it for an adopted child that I knew, than a child I would never knowingly meet even if we did share half a genotype.