PamJade

Ok, bad day today. Staggered into work feeling ruff, ruff. One colleague suggested a shock collar to stop me barking and another insisted I have kennel cough I've drunk so much liquid to try & halt the coughing that I may shortly explode like a water-filled balloon - or several balloons to be honest, one for each spare tyre! I wasted part of my lunch break walking up to the Boots pharmacy only to discover they close between 12 and 4pm FFS! I went to the nice pharmacist near home who suggested ipecacacacacacac whatsit and morphine, don't think it'll help but after a few doses I probably won't care anymore Much hugs to Snow & Mel & Tracy who have real problems - I'm just wittering. Pam

Mega sympathies on the migraine, have you seen this? Migraines I mentioned it to someone on here but can't remember who. I started taking Magnesium and Vit. B after reading the article and went from one every 3 weeks to 2 in the last 2 years! Now even when I get stressed out & don't sleep (which triggered mine worse than any food) I still don't get that blinding pain. Pam

I didn't realise PPC were on your list <DUH> and I get the cat litter from them (the corn stuff)! Will know for next time Pam

Bubble buddy? Puddlepetcare Pam

How disgusting I went to get a coffee and a slice of birthday cake, but I forgot the coffee so I had to have a second slice when I remembered it ..... feel sick now .... Pam

Did you try the Congratulations section? Or try these http://all4love.net/create.php?card_id=1487 http://g1.greetings.123india.com/cgi-bin/n...engaged&log=123 Pam

Try to get him eating charcoal biscuits, and in the meantime, strike a match to burn off the gas but DON'T STAND TOO NEAR HIM when you do!! Pam

Mel I'm so sorry to hear about your sister, she really needs to talk to a counsellor but I can't think how you'd get her there. Did she realise how shocked you were at her appearance? That may be the impetus to get help. I wish I could offer something useful. Pam

http://www.e-cards.com/catalog/occasions-pick.pl Might be something here. Pam

I just screamed with laughter and frightened my husband Pam

I've been feeling a bit rough myself for the last couple of days, but thank you for the encouragement. I'll give it a go. Thanx folks. I find meditation works best for me when I use visualization, like constructing a comforting tropical beach, so maybe it would be easiest to begin with a pic. of the subject. Or someone I know like Rykats Dino. Rykat herself is now high on meds and wouldn't notice an atom bomb Pam

These were in a poetry book: There was a young lady named Bright Whose speed was far faster than light She went out one day In a relative way and returned home the previous night. Arthur Buller There was a young lady of Kew Who filled her vagina with glue She said with a grin If they pay to get in They can pay to get out again too! Anon

There was a young lady from Wirral, Went courting a guy name of Cyril, When tickled with glee He said that's not me My lady you're sat on a squirrel! Now Bobbie went breaking her arm, But when Richard tried turning on charm, He offered the bed, But she walloped his head and did him most serious harm. Pam

Well I hadn't and I think it's wonderful No way I'd take either of them though, I've had friends who had them and they messed up the furniture, slobbered when upset and are HIGHLY unhygenic, that was just the first few days. Pam

Dunno about Auntie Melp but that vision has put me off Wales for life! Mind you, if you've seen the pic. above then probably all of Wales is grateful. Pam

Really? Wow, I was always taught it wouldn't work, but it certainly can't hurt and poor Bobbie is not a happy bunny right now. Thank you on both counts. Pam

Any Reiki people out there who can send healing (unfortunately I'm only a Reiki 1), please think about Rykat. She is in a lot of pain at the moment. Pam

Bwwaaaaa I submit to your genius. Pam

I wish to take exception to your comments: 1. Your advice about penile enlargement surgery is the reason I've been walking strangely for months. It is NOT due to the industrial strength elastic restraining the flab, that is merely an ugly rumour started by Rykat. 2. The picture is grossly unfair (also gross). Doesn't everyone have a 5 o'clock shadow problem? It was, after all taken at 17.02 3. The hair colour was an attempt to hide the steel grey wool currently masquerading as silken tresses, tho' I admit it may explain why Pingu made me travel in the boot the other night. However the acceleration may also have been responsible, he seems unable to drive at less than 60. 4. I can't afford liposuction on all the chins. I thought you might have been kind and merely suggested dealing with the top two. 5 ....... HANG ON A MINUTE?? Dress?? Make-up?? <Peers short sightedly at photo> HAH! It's not me after all, never had make up in the last 10 years and dresses are unknown to me. Boiler suits work best, preferably white so that I can hide out at tyre shops. Yours in hysterics Pam

Dear Auntie Melp, I have been happily married for 10 years but the other day OH walked into the bathroom and caught me wearing a pale blue shower cap WITH lacy bits. I have grown accustomed to him seeing all my flabby, wobbly bits but I don't think I can live with this latest shame. Has the time come for D.I.V.O.R.C.E? Pam

I'd give it a 3, just behind the dog in elk tale, but the beet pulp one still gets my #1. By the time I got to the bit about the crickets I couldn't breathe. Pam

Beaten to the post! Pam

Whenever I need a good laugh I return to this page ..... Beet Pulp Safety Warning Pam

Slogans for women's T-shirts 1. So many men, so few who can afford me. 2. God made us sisters; Prozac made us friends. 3. If they don't have chocolate in heaven, I ain't going. 4. At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, heard it all...I just can't remember it all. 5. My Mother Is a travel agent for guilt trips. 6. Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog. 7. Coffee, chocolate, men . . . Some things are just better rich. 8. Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen. 9. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen. 10. Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off. 11. It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything. 12. I'm out of estrogen-and I have a gun. 13. Guys have feelings too. But like...who cares? 14. Next mood swing: 6 minutes. 15. I hate everybody...and you're next. 16. And your point is...? 17. I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now. 18. Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it. 19. Of course I don't look busy...I did it right the first time. 20. Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win. 21. You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP. 22. All stressed out and no one to choke. 23. I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people. 24. How can I miss you if you won't go away? 25. Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not. 26. If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy. 27. Don't upset me! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies. Laws women live by 1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. 2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door. 3. If we put a man on the moon - we should be able to put them all up there. 4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone. 5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway. 6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces so that you can tell them apart. 7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable. 8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types. 9. Best way to get a man to do something: suggest he's too old for it. 10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. 11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital. 12. The children of Israel wandered in the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions. 13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks. 14. Remember: a sense of humor does not mean you tell him jokes; it means you laugh at his. 15. Sadly, all men are created equal. Just a thought for all the women out there... MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown, MENopause Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men?

OMG! That one is one of Rykats!! Pam